Sorry, just seeing all of this. My weekends are always so hectic these days.
I think it's a tad disgusting to have seen some of the push back you have received for deciding to re-home Honey. At the end of the day, nobody here knows precisely what it is like to live with YOUR kids and YOUR pets in YOUR house in YOUR everyday life. If you receive any criticism whatsoever, it should be constructive; not judgmental. It really saddens me that at a time when people should probably just be there for you and be supportive you have people who can't step down from their high horse for a second to try and identify with your situation a bit and sympathize with what you are tackling. It just goes to show you that when all is said and done it is much easier to point fingers and pass judgment than it is to try and be compassionate and understanding. God forbid.
I remember months ago when you were going through this situation and looking for solutions around every corner and if you were unable to resolve them I trust you are doing what is right for everyone involved. Sure, the two newer cats may not have helped Honey's situation, but it doesn't help now to have someone (removed from the situation, no less) sit here and catalogue your every action because this is all information you already know and can no longer do anything about. The best you can do is learn from the situation and not repeat your mistakes. Everyone else should just be supportive and call it a day. The nerve of someone to get all bunched up and stick up their nose when they are not even in your position and having to digest making such a difficult decision. Shame. The people around here who are more experienced and have more knowledge are supposed to be helpful, not hurtful.
I don't think the breeder should have allowed you to take a mother and daughter under the same roof to begin with. As a retired breeding queen especially, I'm sure Honey was quite puzzled when not all of her babies left the nest, so to speak. Cats aren't like humans and after some time they expect not to have to live with their kittens anymore and be bothered with them, really. I can imagine how much that must have stressed her out, especially with Rori desiring so much attention from her still. It would seem that finding Rori a distraction in attempts to get her off of Honey's case would have been ideal. I'm just sorry it didn't work out. If we are going to play the blame game (which I noticed is as popular as Monopoly around here) I would first take a look at the irresponsibility of the breeder in those actions early on, though I know it's really no help to you at present.
It's an awful situation to have to endure but if Honey remains a danger to your kids then I think the decision is an obvious and heartbreaking one. Nobody can say that you didn't try everything within your means. I wish you all the best.