Despite my earlier departure from this forum, I still owe the kindhearted members here who shared the wonderful moments I had, and reached out on FB & IG sharing the pain I’m going through nowadays. I may be writing this for selfish reasons too, as I seek closure. Yet the tears don’t seem to dry up no matter how hard I try to hide them.
I had plenty of pets, plenty of species over the years since my childhood. Each one’s departure was never easy. He who knows what love is, he who’s destined to have his heart broken over and over, again and again. She was a pet, one would say. But a pet is a pet, till we miss them. That moment we realize they are family. And so she was, my Snickers.
I’m a very spontaneous person, yet the purchase of a Bengal took years due to their non-availability in the region. This year, while I was unemployed I brought one home. And despite the financial challenges, I provided her with the best. I even picked an expensive apartment to provide her with her own suite that has a window with a view for her to see the world out there. She has closets full of unused toys yet, for I used to surprise her with new ones over time. She has some sets in two of everything, in case one breaks down or gets lost... she was spoiled, she was my Snickers.
Under judgmental eyesights and stereotypes of a single middle-aged man with a cat, we took drives together, we traveled in cabin by plane together, she was my shadow 24/7 indoors and outdoors... she was my Snickers. The furthest distance she got from me was a meter or so, unless she was eating or in her litter box. At times I pushed her back for my own space, but she just stood there like a dog guarding my space till I give her a sign to jump in back on my lap. I read, watched and was amazed by reported complaints about behavioral issues with Bengals, none applied to my perfect Snickers.
I never spayed / neutered a cat. And Snickers was distant to have a stud travel to her all the way from Germany. But the age difference was triggered by a recent horror story on FB about a female Bengal died from Pyo, got me to cancel the stud purchase losing my down payment and rush Snickers to a vet to have her spayed. I always followed her vaccination schedule religiously and provided her with the best vet in town. I’m known at the clinic of rushing my pets in for minor stuff that doesn’t require medical attention. And twice my pets turn to be alright, and I’m just too concerned and overreacting. The very next day of cancelling the stud order, she was 7 1/2 months old and weighed 3 kg, the surgery was scheduled for my Snickers.
I had nightmares the night before her surgery, i swear I did. I cried as I checked her in, I was over the phone with her vet before and after the surgery, and I was ahead of time waiting in my car to pick her up. I heard her scream in her carrier, struggling to escape as she was brought to me. But once she saw me, she calmed down as I went on kissing / touching her. The staff were amazed, I proudly smiled... she was my Snickers.
I took her home, questioning still my decision, but assured myself that I did the right thing for her to avoid losing her to Pyo, or in a pregnancy go wrong. Few days followed after she started eating and getting back to normal, one day she stopped. She wanted to be left alone, and slept sitting down not lying down. The following morning, instead of waking up on her wet nose poking my face, I woke up on the sound of her vomit on the floor. Took a sample, and rushed her to the vet. Her temperature was 40.5c, her weight dropped to 2.7 kg and the vet said she was dehydrated and has to be hospitalized.
Hours passed slowly till I got a call from her vet saying, he suspects she has a virus and went on questioning if she was vaccinated. I took her certificate and went to the clinic. He recognized the vaccinations are punctual and up-to-date. But blamed my breeder for selling me a cat with FPV. Then blamed me for exposing my cat to an infected cat. I yelled at him, if cats can get FPV from parrots, then yes I have 6 parrots that are registered at your clinic. Otherwise, my cat didn’t encounter another cat since May 2017. And neither the breeder, nor I can be held responsible. The FPV incubation period is a 7 to 10 days which matches the time she got spayed at your clinic. She got infected at the clinic, my poor Snickers.
I reached out to FB asking for advice and medication, I reached for the breeder too. I spent hours every time I visit Snickers. I used to park my car and stay in the car waiting till the clinic opens. I was the first to walk-in, I could her scream and they could see how she calms down once she sees me. I was her only medicine that worked. But her health kept going south, vomiting, bloody diarrhea till I got to feel a skeleton, count her spine bones... she became so weak that she’d only move just to try to reach me, oh my Snickers!
Again I reached out to FB asking for everybody’s prayer, I reached out to the breeder telling her to expect the worse. And that night I slept in tears. The next morning I was an hour early before the clinic opens crying in my car. I rushed in, she had more energy but she looked very different. She continued to attempt to reach me and leave her cell... I went on holding her and kissing her nonstop. I told her vet, she has more energy, she looks worse but she might make it. I told him statistically she has five days to survive then her chances of survival will become high. He looked at me in a very strange way, I didn’t understand it then. But now I do. He must have thought I’m a dreamer, an idiot or in self denial.
I only stayed for an hour that morning. Her eyes color changed to a shade of stainless steel and then she turned her back to me, after I kissed her repeatedly. I thought she wanted to sleep. But kept questioning the color of her eyes in my mind. I drove home, and by the time I got there I got a phone call from her vet crying that she passed away. That was on the morning of Oct 1st, my noisy parrots that day didn’t make a sound... the whole day was dark.
She was loved, she knew that. But SHE TRUSTED ME and I failed her. She had no clue why she went to the clinic in the first place. She didn’t know she got spayed, but she trusted me. She didn’t know why suddenly she’s getting sick, but she trusted me. She didn’t know why I’m not taking her home, but still she trusted me. Now I understand the moment her eyes color turned stainless steel, she saw death... and she turned her back to me.
The house is being gradually sanitized, but what’s the use? The rooms, the furniture, the rugs, the curtains and the toys are moaning her. I look at my parrots and wonder, if they moan her in their screams too. The breeder originally named her Stella Cadente (falling star), but she will always be my Snickers.
Stay blessed among your families and loved ones. Hug and kiss your pets for me.
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