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PostPosted: Sat Mar 18, 2017 9:40 pm 
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Bengal Kitten

Joined: Sat Mar 18, 2017 9:18 pm
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Recently I have gotten two bengal sisters from a breeder, this is only a couple of days after we had to unfortunately put our 1 year old cat down.

When we got these two Bengal sisters ( nearly a week ago) we were greeted with one of them, being very shy and she constantly hid from us while the other one was constantly rubbing herself on us and wanting to be petted. Now the shy one has come out of her shell and wonders the house rather than staying in one room. But both of them are sacred of us, they run away from us and if we move a muscle they'll run straight back into their room. Even the affectionate one has stopped coming near us, they're the complete opposite of our last cat.

Our family understands that Bengals are of course very different to the average cat wondering the street but should they be this distant and scared from us, they cost a fair amount of money and it feels as though they are simply living in their own world with no attention to us. Our late cat had been homeless for quite a while and had been through God knows what before we took him but after the first day he would be playing with us and sleeping in our beds.

Is this just how Bengal cats are? The slight affection from a distance, don't play or sit with you? Any advice on how to combat this or any of your own experiences would be much appreciated.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 20, 2017 10:41 am 
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Asian Leopard Cat
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Joined: Sun Aug 28, 2011 3:08 am
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Location: Melbourne, Australia
Bengal48274 wrote:
When we got these two Bengal sisters ( nearly a week ago)


Given you've had them for only a week, relax.
All cats are different little personalities, some are bold and brash from day one, others are timid and shy and take time to warm up.

The best thing you can do is go at their pace. Did you start them in their own safe room, or do they have access to the whole house? Generally a safe room is better, easier for them to get used to and comforting that they can hide or return there if need be.

What are you doing to encourage them? Often the best thing you can do it sit in their room and talk to them or read a book out loud (if they're shy). Get them used to your presence, to your smells, to the sound of you. Never loom over the top of a cat (sit at their level), or make it do something it doesn't want, like patting or picking it up. Use toys or treats to tempt them. Find what makes them tick and utilise it.

I got my boy when he was 5 and he was an ex breeder who hadn't been inside much at all. It took weeks for him to come around, but when he did, boy was he worth all the time and effort I put in with him. He's never been a lap cat and he hates being picked up, but he will enjoy pats TIL THE END OF DAYS. He will wedge himself in next to me and purr and knead and accept all the love in the world.

So, take a step back, slow down and go at their pace. Let them get used to you on their terms and it will be well worth it in the end.

PS - I don't think bengals are that much different to normal cats really. Maybe louder and more stubborn and more energetic.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 20, 2017 5:58 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Thu May 23, 2013 2:21 pm
Posts: 8150
Bringing new kittens to your home will stress them out, being taken away from their mom and other siblings. What you need is patience. You are expecting too much too soon. Let these little ones settle in. There is way too much going on for them right now. New home, new smells, new humans. They will bond with you. Know that bengals are not a particularly affectionate breed. Most do not like to lay on laps and do not like being picked up. If you researched the breed, you would have found this out. That's not saying your babies won't show their love for you. Mine gives me head butts. And always has to step on me right before he goes to sleep at night so he gets his final head rub and "good night." Mine loves my husband a lot more than me as Raiden will nap in his lap, but not mine.

Hang in there ....... be patient. They will come around. These two are siblings and are used to being around each other, so naturally, they turn to each other for confidence. Get out the wand toys and engage them in play. Entice them with treats.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 20, 2017 9:14 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Fri Mar 17, 2017 6:24 pm
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From what I learned (since my first Bengal is due next month still), in addition to the feedbacks above, I may add that to bond with your cats you need to play with them... much.

Buy a feather toy, dancer, balls pool... etc. this should help them get used to you and help them relocating.


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 21, 2017 12:22 am 
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Asian Leopard Cat
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Location: Portland Oregon, USA
Some thoughts on this...

1. It's difficult to say goodbye to one cat, and immediately get another (or two). The bengals are not your departed cat, nor can they replace him. So you have to 'let go" and embrace who your bengals are. Also, from the sound of it, one of your bengals does have an inclination to trust and be affectionate right from the start. Why do you suppose he is now afraid?

2. If you decided that you wanted to bond with a child, how would you go about it? You'd probably observe and talk to the child, figure out what type of things he or she liked to do, and engage them on that level. Correct? Same with bengals. Bengals like to run, jump, pounce, stalk, wrestle etc., and bengals kittens like all those things, only more so. Engage them in those activities as much as you can, and then when they see you as a playmate in addition to a providers, you'll have a much stronger bond.

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 21, 2017 10:58 am 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Wed Aug 28, 2013 7:42 pm
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Your new kittens need 2 things from you:

1. To know that they can trust you/you're not a threat

2. Play and more Play.

For 1 - see Fenstar - go and sit with them somewhere quiet, ignore the kittens, don't make eye contact, perhaps take a book/tablet and read to them so that they get used to you talking to them softly. Get them to be comfortable being around you.

2. This is where you can get a feather toy and, still ignoring them, play with the toy a little where they can see it, they'll *need* to play with it and once they start, that is when the bond starts to form between you. Be a kitten's idea of awesome: play the games they love, wear them out, give the occasional treat, add in a hint of stroke when they are knackered from playing. It takes a thousand steps to make that bond, but when you get there it is fantastic.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 06, 2017 7:49 pm 
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Bengal Kitten

Joined: Sat Mar 18, 2017 9:18 pm
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Thank you all for your replies it really helped me take a step back and allow them to adjust in their own time, they're much more affectionate since


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 06, 2017 8:46 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Wed Aug 28, 2013 7:42 pm
Posts: 640
That is fantastic to hear - it's part of why we all enjoy being on here - sharing experiences and helping each other out.


But you did just commit the most serious of offences - an update without some pics ;-)


^^^^^^ hint.


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 07, 2017 2:46 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat
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The first week my 4 month old girls came to live with me was pretty scary for them. They hid and I didn't understand why, I love kitties! I think they were kept in cages prior to moving in with me and my home was so different from what they were used to. By the end of that first week though they were relaxed and crazy kittens and even slept next to my head like little angels. Soon after they greeted me at the door when I came home from work each day and still do. Now at three years old we have a very set routine and they are the best cats...one is very loving toward me and the other one occasionally comes to me for affection but is much more independant. We all respect each other's differences and have a very happy home. My cats definitely bonded to me.

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