She's cute! Swapping things between their "territories" so they can get used to each other's smells is a good idea.
I also do the room swapping thing where I let the new cats explore the house while the established cats can sniff around the newcomers room, but my house is ideally set up for that sort of thing (I have a couple of rooms with two doors, so I can guide them all around the upstairs without any risk of coming face to face with each other) and it doesn't work everywhere.
As a next step, I place a pet gate in the doorway and board up the rest (otherwise they just jump/climb over it). There usually is a bit of tension and hissing at first when they see each other through the gate, but it allows them to get as close as they want to check each other out and back off without fearing they'll be chased and jumped on by the other cat. To make it more enticing to interact with each other, I place food and toys on both side of the gate.
Once there's no more hissing and growling, I remove the boards, but leave the gate if the cat can jump/scale it easily. That allows them to come out and interact, but still go back into their "safe room" when things get too heated. It appears that my cats respect the gate as a barrier, even though they can go over it (and sometimes will to steal food etc). It's more of a psychological "here's the line, this is my room, stay out of it" thing, I guess.
The thing to keep in mind is that it can take some time (your cats will let you know how quickly they want to get to know each other) and it's best to avoid direct conflict during the introduction and adjustment period. They need to learn that they are no threat to each other. Both the newcomer and the established cat(s) need a place they can retreat to and feel safe in. They will want to check each other out (some sooner, others later), but preferably from a safe distance or through a barrier at first. At one point, they need to work out who's top cat (and in many cases they manage to do that without outright fighting) and after that there should be at least peaceful coexistence even if they don't become best friends. Sometimes it takes just hours, sometimes it takes days or weeks. The most important thing is to let the cats take it at their own pace and don't force them, but don't stand in their way either. They'll work things out between them eventually.
|