Hi

We have 3 bengals but we would like to get another one. Lennon and Tabitha are from the same litter and are 4 years old. Ringo is 11 months old.

When we were thinking of getting Ringo, I contacted Lennon and Tabitha's breeder to ask if she had any kittens available. Unfortunately she didn't have any but she did advise us not to get another female because Tabitha wouldn't accept a female, so we got a male, Ringo.

However, Ringo chases Tabitha relentlessly, which stresses her some of the time and I have to separate them and tell Ringo "no" and push him away which works when I'm nearby.

So, I'm put off by the idea of another male because of how Ringo is with Tabitha.

I don't know now if to get a male or a female. Any advice please.

Assuming that the cat is neutered or spayed - the major difference between a male and female is the size of the cat. I would love to say that Males are more X and Females are more Y; but really it's each cat is an individual and they have their own personality.

You will hear stories of aggressive males and / or females. You will hear laid back males and sweet females. Basically it comes down to the nature / nurture of queen and stud as well as how they were raised and and and...

Bottom line - talk to breeders about the personality of the cat - the older they are the more you can see their personality. Talk to them about what you are looking for and see how they can help you.

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Tabitha is a 4kg tiny tot but very feisty, growling, hissing and claws everytime Ringo play jumps on her. or goes near her. Her brother Lennon is a huge 8.3 kg but has the most gentle laid back personality and gets along with Tabitha and Ringo just fine. Where as Ringo is a boisterous playful 11 month old 5kg kitten. He also play fights with Lennon but Len will just put a paw on his head and smack him when he's had enough. Hopefully Ringo will calm down as he gets older.

We have found a 3 year old female bengal who is very affectionate that needs rehoming and are wondering if she would fit in with our bengal family or would Ringo just stress her out as well? And would Tabitha be feisty with her??

I absolutely respect OntarioBengals opinions. We do not know your entire situation at your house. If it were me, I probably would not add another cat to the mix. There is never a guarantee that things will work out and could actually get worse. Ringo is still a kitten! It's wonderful that you want to rescue this bengal and things could get better -- but you just won't know until you put all four cats in the mix and see what happens. Hopefully, Ringo will be a tad nicer as he gets older. You need to make sure each cat has their own area they can retreat to without interference from another cat. I feel for your Tabitha. I also feel for any new cat who comes into an existing household of cats. They have no territory. They have to get used to a whole new environment AND other cats. A lot will depend on the personality of this new kitty as well. You may have the love and patience for all of this -- I have enough trouble with just ONE bengal. Good luck, whichever way you go with this.

Thank you for your advice. As much as we would love to, I don't think we will get another bengal. As I said, Tabitha is a feisty little tot and although she gets on with her laid back brother, Lennon, she has not warmed to Ringo and his playful fights.

I think adding another bengal male or female will just upset Tabitha even more.

She may be a tiny tot but she is the Boss Cat! And don't we all know it ...

I wasn't going to say anything... but I think that's a really good decision Every cat you add once they become adults is a pretty huge risk to the overall happiness to those involved (including you!).

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I'm happy to hear that you are putting Tabitha first. It's difficult to strike a balance in a multi-cat household. Adding another just makes it even harder. You are obviously on top of the situation between Tabitha and Ringo and things should get better as Ringo turns into an adult.