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PostPosted: Tue Mar 29, 2016 9:51 am 
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Hey guys
It has been a while ..
Anyway, my babies have grown now and almost 4 years old now
Clive as he matured established himself more and more as “the only cat in the house” and we actually managed to accommodate it with him and between Indiya successfully.
Indiya however is another story – she is very sweet and loving girl and I feel she misses out on cat companion. She shares her time between us and Clive when he is in non dominant mood. But I feel she would wanted a constant companion to play and look after as she has so much love to share. Unfortunately this is so not for Clive.

What do we think ?
If we need a companion for my girl – can it be a puppy ( not a kitten) as I fear to rock a boat with Clive’s dominance


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 29, 2016 3:29 pm 
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I don't have experiences with cats and dogs together, but I would imagine Clive's boat will be rocked regardless of species.


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 29, 2016 3:52 pm 
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I would say if you have found a way for both Clive and Indiya to co-exist with Clive wanting to be the 'only cat in the house', I really wouldn't upset the equilibrium by introducing any further animals, dog or cat.

I have two neutered males and now and again I worry they would both be happier as only cats now that they are socially mature. I seem to be finding a way to manage them and keep them both happy but am becoming resigned that there will be on-going squabbles and attempts to be 'top cat'!

How have you managed the situation? Any tips gratefully received!!

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 29, 2016 3:53 pm 
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It is always quite the dilemna whether to add another pet to the household. Many times, it goes smoothly. Many times it does not without some trial and error and lots of patience. If only our pets could talk to us, you could ask Indiya what she prefers! How do you know she is missing out on companionship? She has you and she has Clive when he's in the mood. I think we rush to the conclusion that our pets are lonely. That is not always the case. Perhaps she does yearn for a companion or playmate, but humans can play that role as well. Your kitties are older now and well adjusted. Cats love routine and schedules, so introducing another pet could be stressful to the kitties. I know my Raiden does not like puppies or dogs! In fact, he prefers being the ONLY cat in the household. I can't vouch for how bustling your household is or whether another pet would help or hinder any situation. Many members here have multiple dogs and cats and things work out fine.


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 29, 2016 4:11 pm 
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Tabitha wrote:
I would say if you have found a way for both Clive and Indiya to co-exist with Clive wanting to be the 'only cat in the house', I really wouldn't upset the equilibrium by introducing any further animals, dog or cat.

I have two neutered males and now and again I worry they would both be happier as only cats now that they are socially mature. I seem to be finding a way to manage them and keep them both happy but am becoming resigned that there will be on-going squabbles and attempts to be 'top cat'!

How have you managed the situation? Any tips gratefully received!!


How I managed to make Clive feel the only cat in the house :
- First it started with us giving him his own bedroom in the main house, which worked for a while .
- Subsequently as he grew he wanted to expand his territories so we gave up to him our office space which is in a separate building from the main house. When he feels overcrowded or extra dominant he simply goes to office to cool down from all the tensions and then 3-4 hours later comes back all calm and fine and ready to play with Indiya again
- Overall , in the main house neither of them will share things – so I had to buy everything times 2. Even the toilet areas are designed separately for them – Indiya goes on the right , Clive goes to he left – LOL – but it works. They seemed to accepted this. Before - every now and then Clive was like – “its either Me peeing here or Her – but not together ! “and either peed elsewhere or would not let Indiya go the toilet at all. but thats when he feels dominant, not all the time. Sometimes when he is a nice boy he follows Indiya and does whatever she does - like a copy cat - eat together, or pee together or sleep in the same room , will bring her his toys.
- Other than that – we are all happy family !!

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 29, 2016 4:18 pm 
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I would say that you have a really good thing going there right now and have done really well. You have two cats that live contentedly and peacefully together, so I wouldn't take that for granted. Bringing it another cat could cheese off either or both cats. And if you are bringing in another cat to be with your dominant bengal cat, that could be a disaster for the new cat. I would let things be. Even if your two cats are not interacting a whole lot, I think they do get some companionship, just by each other's presence. And they do have the opportunity to get to be closer friends as time goes on, if they feel that they need that. That's my $0.02.

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 29, 2016 4:19 pm 
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Sherry wrote:
It is always quite the dilemna whether to add another pet to the household. Many times, it goes smoothly. Many times it does not without some trial and error and lots of patience. If only our pets could talk to us, you could ask Indiya what she prefers! How do you know she is missing out on companionship? She has you and she has Clive when he's in the mood. I think we rush to the conclusion that our pets are lonely. That is not always the case. Perhaps she does yearn for a companion or playmate, but humans can play that role as well. Your kitties are older now and well adjusted. Cats love routine and schedules, so introducing another pet could be stressful to the kitties. I know my Raiden does not like puppies or dogs! In fact, he prefers being the ONLY cat in the household. I can't vouch for how bustling your household is or whether another pet would help or hinder any situation. Many members here have multiple dogs and cats and things work out fine.


yes , I know. I am actually not pro –another pet in the household.
Why I feel she wants a companion – well, originally we took 2 of them so they are company to each other as both of us work long hours away from the house. When babies they did spend lot of time together until Clive’s dominance kicked in. so it changed after that.
Now as much as we try to spend time with them and its just not enough for her. Especially Indiya would come to me and ask to play at 2200 then 2300 and 2400 if I am awake. So I felt that perhaps a companion would be good for her ?

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 29, 2016 4:28 pm 
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laurel wrote:
Tabitha wrote:
I would say if you have found a way for both Clive and Indiya to co-exist with Clive wanting to be the 'only cat in the house', I really wouldn't upset the equilibrium by introducing any further animals, dog or cat.

I have two neutered males and now and again I worry they would both be happier as only cats now that they are socially mature. I seem to be finding a way to manage them and keep them both happy but am becoming resigned that there will be on-going squabbles and attempts to be 'top cat'!

How have you managed the situation? Any tips gratefully received!!


How I managed to make Clive feel the only cat in the house :
- First it started with us giving him his own bedroom in the main house, which worked for a while .
- Subsequently as he grew he wanted to expand his territories so we gave up to him our office space which is in a separate building from the main house. When he feels overcrowded or extra dominant he simply goes to office to cool down from all the tensions and then 3-4 hours later comes back all calm and fine and ready to play with Indiya again
- Overall , in the main house neither of them will share things – so I had to buy everything times 2. Even the toilet areas are designed separately for them – Indiya goes on the right , Clive goes to he left – LOL – but it works. They seemed to accepted this. Before - every now and then Clive was like – “its either Me peeing here or Her – but not together ! “and either peed elsewhere or would not let Indiya go the toilet at all. but thats when he feels dominant, not all the time. Sometimes when he is a nice boy he follows Indiya and does whatever she does - like a copy cat - eat together, or pee together or sleep in the same room , will bring her his toys.
- Other than that – we are all happy family !!


Thanks, I wish we had a separate building where we could do that! Jagger has pretty much taken over the spare room - that is definitely his territory. I also buy two of everything as sharing seems a no-no. But I'm not allowed a second cat tree in the front room (which would make three overall - we have one in the conservatory as well) as the other half said he would leave! It took ages, and Jagger will now share it but every now and again it will still cause an argument (an unfriendly game of pat-a-cake that moves on to hissing and growling) - not that there aren't three beds on it, but they both want the top bunk of course!

Most of the time it isn't an issue as Hendrix likes to sleep on our bed or in the main living room, its when he decides he wants to come in with us in the evening and Jagger is on the footstool - and as soon as Hendrix gets in the cat tree, of course that is where he decides he wants to be lol

Such a contrary breed!!! Still, can't moan too much as they have been getting on brilliantly over the Easter break!!

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 29, 2016 4:34 pm 
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brianj12 wrote:
I would say that you have a really good thing going there right now and have done really well. You have two cats that live contentedly and peacefully together, so I wouldn't take that for granted. Bringing it another cat could cheese off either or both cats. And if you are bringing in another cat to be with your dominant bengal cat, that could be a disaster for the new cat. I would let things be. Even if your two cats are not interacting a whole lot, I think they do get some companionship, just by each other's presence. And they do have the opportunity to get to be closer friends as time goes on, if they feel that they need that. That's my $0.02.


yes i agree. My head tells me that too. My heart though cries out for Indiya as i want to be there for her and give her all the hours she wants.

Do you think it may change over the time and Clive wanting to spend more time with Indiya ie becoming less territorial and dominant ?
I know you have 3 cats off top of my head, is that right ?
Did you experience anything similar , like change in dominance behaviour with the age within the same cat crowd ?
Do you think i can trick or train him to adjust his dominance levels ?

thanks.

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 29, 2016 4:54 pm 
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Tabitha wrote:
laurel wrote:
Tabitha wrote:
I would say if you have found a way for both Clive and Indiya to co-exist with Clive wanting to be the 'only cat in the house', I really wouldn't upset the equilibrium by introducing any further animals, dog or cat.

I have two neutered males and now and again I worry they would both be happier as only cats now that they are socially mature. I seem to be finding a way to manage them and keep them both happy but am becoming resigned that there will be on-going squabbles and attempts to be 'top cat'!

How have you managed the situation? Any tips gratefully received!!


How I managed to make Clive feel the only cat in the house :
- First it started with us giving him his own bedroom in the main house, which worked for a while .
- Subsequently as he grew he wanted to expand his territories so we gave up to him our office space which is in a separate building from the main house. When he feels overcrowded or extra dominant he simply goes to office to cool down from all the tensions and then 3-4 hours later comes back all calm and fine and ready to play with Indiya again
- Overall , in the main house neither of them will share things – so I had to buy everything times 2. Even the toilet areas are designed separately for them – Indiya goes on the right , Clive goes to he left – LOL – but it works. They seemed to accepted this. Before - every now and then Clive was like – “its either Me peeing here or Her – but not together ! “and either peed elsewhere or would not let Indiya go the toilet at all. but thats when he feels dominant, not all the time. Sometimes when he is a nice boy he follows Indiya and does whatever she does - like a copy cat - eat together, or pee together or sleep in the same room , will bring her his toys.
- Other than that – we are all happy family !!


Thanks, I wish we had a separate building where we could do that! Jagger has pretty much taken over the spare room - that is definitely his territory. I also buy two of everything as sharing seems a no-no. But I'm not allowed a second cat tree in the front room (which would make three overall - we have one in the conservatory as well) as the other half said he would leave! It took ages, and Jagger will now share it but every now and again it will still cause an argument (an unfriendly game of pat-a-cake that moves on to hissing and growling) - not that there aren't three beds on it, but they both want the top bunk of course!

Most of the time it isn't an issue as Hendrix likes to sleep on our bed or in the main living room, its when he decides he wants to come in with us in the evening and Jagger is on the footstool - and as soon as Hendrix gets in the cat tree, of course that is where he decides he wants to be lol

Such a contrary breed!!! Still, can't moan too much as they have been getting on brilliantly over the Easter break!!



Just seen your pictures in another thread.
Lovely cats !
Anyway, from the pictures, it looks to me like they have accepted each others dominance.
You can see one is grooming another - thats a good sign, and the way they are sitting on the chairs - one is above another - thats another good sign.
I think your fights are just normal reinforcement of their status, so nothing to worry about - they are comfortable around each other .

My problem was much worse ! - Indiya completely refused to accept Clive as dominant and began to stress and got even ill for some time. it came to Vets telling me to rehome one.
Can you imagine - Clive much bigger boy against petite little girl - that was a nightmare for a while for us. i wanted to leave my job because they could not figure it out between themselves.

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 29, 2016 6:10 pm 
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It's all on a knife edge lol the latest pictures where they are together grooming each other, that hasn't happened for ages! We had a really rough December with jagger bullying Hendrix, blocking him access to rooms etc, chasing him out of the house and cornering him. He wouldn't share anything and we very nearly had full on fights in the house, it was awful! I contacted a behaviourist in the end and her advice has really helped. Hendrix was a very unhappy cat prior to that but I didn't finish everything she told me to do last time. Just as I'd got things on an even keel, Hendrix got in the back of a van and disappeared for over two weeks, before we finally found him.

Going back to what Brian said about companionship just from the fact they know each other is there, has really made me rethink my concern they'd be happier as only cats. They were fine when Hendrix went missing, but I did think jagger would ultimately be happier, which concerned me as I was doing my utmost to bring Hendrix home and worried how the reintroduction would go! But he really missed Hendrix, I had to hand feed him for two days just to get food in him. He looked lost. And to be honest, during the day they're not in each other's pockets. They have their separate areas they go to and might cross paths coming in and out or if they are eating in the kitchen but that's it. It is probably the same for Indiya.

Poor Indiya and I know how you feel about wanting to give up work... I feel everything has been better lately as I've been home all Easter to keep things in check. Plus I guess they don't feel the need to compete for attention when I'm available all the time. Things are always tougher when Jon is back at sea! It all settles again when he's on leave as then he's home while I'm working. Bengals really need their human company that's for sure!

Maybe we all worry too much! I'm just hoping the happy vibes we currently have continue!

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 29, 2016 7:29 pm 
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laurel wrote:
brianj12 wrote:
I would say that you have a really good thing going there right now and have done really well. You have two cats that live contentedly and peacefully together, so I wouldn't take that for granted. Bringing it another cat could cheese off either or both cats. And if you are bringing in another cat to be with your dominant bengal cat, that could be a disaster for the new cat. I would let things be. Even if your two cats are not interacting a whole lot, I think they do get some companionship, just by each other's presence. And they do have the opportunity to get to be closer friends as time goes on, if they feel that they need that. That's my $0.02.


yes i agree. My head tells me that too. My heart though cries out for Indiya as i want to be there for her and give her all the hours she wants.

Do you think it may change over the time and Clive wanting to spend more time with Indiya ie becoming less territorial and dominant ?
I know you have 3 cats off top of my head, is that right ?
Did you experience anything similar , like change in dominance behaviour with the age within the same cat crowd ?
Do you think i can trick or train him to adjust his dominance levels ?

thanks.


I think what normally happens is that if the dominant cat is no longer physically able to enforce the dominance (because of age or illness), then the dominance may fall to another cat.

Serafina is without question the alpha of my 3, and she rules with an iron fist. Even with me, she sometimes attempts to put me in my place! For example last night she was peacefully sleeping at my feet, and when I rolled over and nudged her, she growled and got upset ("Hey hey hey, this is my SPOT!"). I don't mean to make her sound like an ogre, she is a very sweet, loving, fun cat 90% of the time. But let's just say she is stubborn and used to getting her way! The good thing is though that Gaga is her biological sister, and Neytiri was introduced when the bengals were 6mo old, so they got used to each other young. Serafina puts them in their place, and they fall in line, and the house is big enough and has enough vertical space that any cat can get away from the other two easily when they need some "alone time", and still each have some very desirable places to call their own.

Based on what you said in a later post... yikes!...would you really consider bringing a 3rd cat into that mess? I don't think that would help things, I think it would complicate things and probably make it worse. Probably a better way to help Indy would be to create some more catification and allow her some more options to do her thing without having to butt heads with Clive? Just a thought...

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 30, 2016 9:12 am 
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brianj12 wrote:
laurel wrote:
brianj12 wrote:
I would say that you have a really good thing going there right now and have done really well. You have two cats that live contentedly and peacefully together, so I wouldn't take that for granted. Bringing it another cat could cheese off either or both cats. And if you are bringing in another cat to be with your dominant bengal cat, that could be a disaster for the new cat. I would let things be. Even if your two cats are not interacting a whole lot, I think they do get some companionship, just by each other's presence. And they do have the opportunity to get to be closer friends as time goes on, if they feel that they need that. That's my $0.02.


yes i agree. My head tells me that too. My heart though cries out for Indiya as i want to be there for her and give her all the hours she wants.

Do you think it may change over the time and Clive wanting to spend more time with Indiya ie becoming less territorial and dominant ?
I know you have 3 cats off top of my head, is that right ?
Did you experience anything similar , like change in dominance behaviour with the age within the same cat crowd ?
Do you think i can trick or train him to adjust his dominance levels ?

thanks.


I think what normally happens is that if the dominant cat is no longer physically able to enforce the dominance (because of age or illness), then the dominance may fall to another cat.

Serafina is without question the alpha of my 3, and she rules with an iron fist. Even with me, she sometimes attempts to put me in my place! For example last night she was peacefully sleeping at my feet, and when I rolled over and nudged her, she growled and got upset ("Hey hey hey, this is my SPOT!"). I don't mean to make her sound like an ogre, she is a very sweet, loving, fun cat 90% of the time. But let's just say she is stubborn and used to getting her way! The good thing is though that Gaga is her biological sister, and Neytiri was introduced when the bengals were 6mo old, so they got used to each other young. Serafina puts them in their place, and they fall in line, and the house is big enough and has enough vertical space that any cat can get away from the other two easily when they need some "alone time", and still each have some very desirable places to call their own.

Based on what you said in a later post... yikes!...would you really consider bringing a 3rd cat into that mess? I don't think that would help things, I think it would complicate things and probably make it worse. Probably a better way to help Indy would be to create some more catification and allow her some more options to do her thing without having to butt heads with Clive? Just a thought...


oh she is fine now . She does not feel threatened by him like before. she is just missing out on companionship in my view
thats why i was asking whether a non- cat companion can be considered ..

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 30, 2016 9:18 am 
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Tabitha wrote:
It's all on a knife edge lol the latest pictures where they are together grooming each other, that hasn't happened for ages! We had a really rough December with jagger bullying Hendrix, blocking him access to rooms etc, chasing him out of the house and cornering him. He wouldn't share anything and we very nearly had full on fights in the house, it was awful! I contacted a behaviourist in the end and her advice has really helped. Hendrix was a very unhappy cat prior to that but I didn't finish everything she told me to do last time. Just as I'd got things on an even keel, Hendrix got in the back of a van and disappeared for over two weeks, before we finally found him.

Going back to what Brian said about companionship just from the fact they know each other is there, has really made me rethink my concern they'd be happier as only cats. They were fine when Hendrix went missing, but I did think jagger would ultimately be happier, which concerned me as I was doing my utmost to bring Hendrix home and worried how the reintroduction would go! But he really missed Hendrix, I had to hand feed him for two days just to get food in him. He looked lost. And to be honest, during the day they're not in each other's pockets. They have their separate areas they go to and might cross paths coming in and out or if they are eating in the kitchen but that's it. It is probably the same for Indiya.

Poor Indiya and I know how you feel about wanting to give up work... I feel everything has been better lately as I've been home all Easter to keep things in check. Plus I guess they don't feel the need to compete for attention when I'm available all the time. Things are always tougher when Jon is back at sea! It all settles again when he's on leave as then he's home while I'm working. Bengals really need their human company that's for sure!

Maybe we all worry too much! I'm just hoping the happy vibes we currently have continue!


oh Gosh, poor Hendrix ! i cant imagine what you went through ! how did he get in the back of the van ??
Out of interest - what did you behaviourist suggested to improve ?
The one trick i learned how to make peace and everyone happy - is to turn up the heating couple degrees up or put the fireplace on!
works like a magic - every time ! Lol

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 30, 2016 9:53 am 
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Hi Laurel,

My two are outdoor cats, but they are devils for getting in vehicles that are left open. If I know something is happening at our end of the road, I keep them in. However, I wasn't told about the work next door was having done on their garage door and as workmen do, they left the van open on our shared drive while I was unaware at work. He got in, didn't get out in time before they closed it and drove off. He jumped out at their next stop 11 miles away. Next door told me no way he was in the van, the garage door people swore blind he wasn't in there. But I knew when I saw the new garage door that his disappearance was linked to it. Fortunately someone found his collar and called me which was how we eventually found him. They have trackers on them now!

Re the behaviourist, if Jagger starts bullying Hendrix (or vice versa!) I have to face the aggressor and chase him off. I was also advised to put them on Zylkene (a natural product, basically milk protein which calms them down), which takes a few days to work, but things improve pretty quickly afterwards. I was told to keep them on it for a month more once their good behaviour is back to ensure the brain is fully reprogrammed and then add a couple of drops of two bach remedies (cherry plum and willow) to their food and water as a back up for about 6 weeks. the behaviourist has Bengals herself and runs a Bengal rescue/rehoming service where people can't cope with them.

They are currently still on the zylkene (I started it again a couple of weeks ago when a load of hissing and growling started again) and they are getting on really well. I do have feliway plugged in as well. Obviously there will always be the odd squabble, just like children but I couldn't continue as it was in December, it was so stressful. They'd always been so bonded as kittens so it was heart breaking to see Hendrix so miserable from Jagger's tormenting.

So this time I will finish the treatment! I literally could have cried with happiness when they were laying on the footstool and my legs the other night and started to groom each other! It was just like old times.

Have to admit I do the fireplace trick as well! The heat from the wood burner has a lovely calming effect on them both and they go really dopey :lol:

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