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 Post subject: I really need help...
PostPosted: Wed Jan 20, 2016 1:13 pm 
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As some of you may know, I have been fostering a kitty... Since October. Our 2 current cats weren't getting along with our foster the first month but we continued to have patience and slowly continued introducing them. Here we are January, and it's worse than ever. They all absolutely hate each other. Our first two still get along but the foster doesn't go well with either of ours. It's breaks our heart cause we've grown really really attached to our foster. We love her very much and wish so badly it would work. Wel let autumn (foster kitty) roam while we are home from work, and usually at night and have our cats upstairs in our room at night.

When the cats are together they try to avoid each other, but if any cross paths, it's a huge problem. They try to viciously attack each other and poor autumn has no claws so it's hard for her to even defend herself. She is so scared of my male cat that she won't even go upstairs to her "safe room" to eat or use the litter box, as she is fearful of running into him.

Well, basil has always had urine issues, mostly from crystals. He's been on medicated food for it for most of his life. It seems now though, after taking him to the vet and treating him for a UTI (just in case) that his urine issues have also become behavioral. Our house smells like a barn. I walk in and I'm hit in the face with the smell of cat urine. Autumn, we realized is also peeing inappropriately. We've caught her peeing on a few mats, and since she is terrified to go upstairs when able to free roam it makes sense that she is. We have a litter box down stairs that she also will not use. As nuts as this sounds I can also tell the difference between their urine, as basil's urine is very very concentrated and potent.

typically I use natures miracle to get rid of cat urine and it works like a charm. But, lately we couldn't get rid of it for anything. Every corner of the house has been peed on, our wedding stuff (wedding in December) my slip for my wedding dress, our chairs, our guest bed, shoes, matts, towels, baskets, sinks,...I am devistated because this is our first home we bought in July.We used our shark steamer last night along with a combination natures miracle and vinegar to try and remove the stench from the tile and it seems like it if anything, enhanced the smell.

I am so... Exhausted. I come home and spend my whole night up until bed trying to find all the cat urine and remove it. I've heard from a few people that "maybe you need to give the foster back to the rescue and sort your issues out with your first kitty first" and it just breaks my heart... to know she might have to go and we'll never know what happens to her because we failed at making it work for all of them. We have been trying SO hard.

If anyone has ANY advice, including how to get urine out of tile, I sure could use it right now.

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 20, 2016 5:45 pm 
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I appreciate the update on Autumn. I am so very sorry things are not going well. In a multi-cat household, individual territory is so important. Cats want a spot where no other cat can go. Unless your home is completely catified with several cat trees, climbing shelves, 4 litter boxes, you may have issues.

Inappropriate peeing is usually caused by stress. You may not be able to see it in the cats, but it's there, and by peeing elsewhere, the cat is trying to communicate with you. Autumn is terrified of your cats. That right there is the problem. You refer to Autumn still as your foster. Are they looking for a permanent home for her? Perhaps she needs to be the only kitty in the family! If you are thinking about keeping her, then you have to get the situation under control.

I'm guessing that you work and you do not have the time required to help these kitties. While some cats get along rather quickly, you have a situation where none of the cats get along and may never get along since this has been going on for some time.

That being said, the first recommendation I have for you is a finding a cat behaviorist to work with you on getting things better. My next recommendation is to construct some type of outdoor cat enclosure so that one or more of your cats can enjoy some outside space and get away from the house situation. They sell portable ones, but permanent structures are actually better. Google has thousands of images that might help you.

I do, however, feel the situation is completely unfair to Autumn. She deserves to be a confident and stress-free cat. Sometimes love is not enough. I would find her a permanent home with no other cats or children and let her find peace.

As for removing the urine from tile, if the tile is glazed, it should not have permeated into the tile. Unglazed tile is porous and would absorb the urine and smell. I don't believe you will ever be able to get the smell out of that without some deep scrubbing with bleach which could damage the tile. If you can get the situation under control, ripping out the tile would probably be the best thing. If the tile is porous and the urine has seeped into the underfloor (or concrete), you are looking at buying a sealer and completely seal the areas before putting down some new tile.

Perhaps someone else can weigh in and offer other suggestions -- Brian, especially! He has three kitties himself.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 20, 2016 6:46 pm 
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Sherry wrote:
I appreciate the update on Autumn. I am so very sorry things are not going well. In a multi-cat household, individual territory is so important. Cats want a spot where no other cat can go. Unless your home is completely catified with several cat trees, climbing shelves, 4 litter boxes, you may have issues.

Inappropriate peeing is usually caused by stress. You may not be able to see it in the cats, but it's there, and by peeing elsewhere, the cat is trying to communicate with you. Autumn is terrified of your cats. That right there is the problem. You refer to Autumn still as your foster. Are they looking for a permanent home for her? Perhaps she needs to be the only kitty in the family! If you are thinking about keeping her, then you have to get the situation under control.

I'm guessing that you work and you do not have the time required to help these kitties. While some cats get along rather quickly, you have a situation where none of the cats get along and may never get along since this has been going on for some time.

That being said, the first recommendation I have for you is a finding a cat behaviorist to work with you on getting things better. My next recommendation is to construct some type of outdoor cat enclosure so that one or more of your cats can enjoy some outside space and get away from the house situation. They sell portable ones, but permanent structures are actually better. Google has thousands of images that might help you.

I do, however, feel the situation is completely unfair to Autumn. She deserves to be a confident and stress-free cat. Sometimes love is not enough. I would find her a permanent home with no other cats or children and let her find peace.

As for removing the urine from tile, if the tile is glazed, it should not have permeated into the tile. Unglazed tile is porous and would absorb the urine and smell. I don't believe you will ever be able to get the smell out of that without some deep scrubbing with bleach which could damage the tile. If you can get the situation under control, ripping out the tile would probably be the best thing. If the tile is porous and the urine has seeped into the underfloor (or concrete), you are looking at buying a sealer and completely seal the areas before putting down some new tile.

Perhaps someone else can weigh in and offer other suggestions -- Brian, especially! He has three kitties himself.


Thank you for your kind words! Of course we'd love to keep her. The thing that has stopped us from putting an adoption application in for her is our cats. I do think that the absolutely BEST thing for her would be that she is the only cat in the home, because of how fearful she is. I think fostering her has really made our current cats unhappy, and although it's in their nature, I hate that it is so. It's unfair to all three cats. I feel like our house has become a fight for dominance. Basil and Lapka are unhappy, and autumn is afraid.

She spends many nights laying beside us on the couch before bed and following my fiancé around the house and playing with us. He is her favorite and this has been even worse on him because he can't bear the idea of not having her around. And it also makes us worry for her. How will she feel being in a new foster or home once again?would she feel betrayed and distrusting once again? Is that the fair thing to do? Or is it more fair to just keep trying and trying despite the peeing, fighting, and fearfulness?

She has blossomed so much since she first came in or home, and I think that she has relearned to gain trust.. When she first arrived she would find the first window to hop in and constantly paced... For hours across the ledge. She never does this anymore. She would only eat after we have left the room, and never played with toys on her own. Now loves bouncing around the house with her jingle mice and sits on the counters and asks us to turn on the faucets for her. (Can you tell how much we adore this little gal?)

She also loves the lanai and it's become a lte save heaven for her. She spends a lot of time out there soaking up sun and watching birds. We haven't really made it cat oriented, but that is a great idea. I should put some things out there for them to perch on enjoy (besides our patio furniture).

But it is also difficult as you mentioned to distribute the adequate amount of time that is probably required to work on this situation because we both do work full time and don't get home until 6 in the evening. Our schedules are very busy, but every moment we have, we try to work on teaching them to be comfortable with one another. We try to have positive play sessions, positive snack feeding but I'm sure this is enough.

This whole situation has been really getting to us, as things have been getting worse and worse between the cats.. I truely appreciate all advice I get on here. It helps to know there's other kitty lovers who understand. Thank you!

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 20, 2016 11:52 pm 
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Oh wow, you tried to do something good for a homeless kitty and disrupted your existing kitties world. I almost did the same thing but to be honest I was afraid they would start marking in my house and be miserable with another cat. After reading this, I am glad I didn't try it. I have all tile floors and I was afraid of urine getting in the grout and under the tile. I use a steam mop and put vinegar in the water. I don't know if that would help with the odor though. You might try using baking soda in the mixture and see if that helps. If it were me I don't think I could continue on with the situation and would have to rehome the last cat. Good luck it's a tough decision.

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 21, 2016 5:13 pm 
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When you love a kitty, it is heart wrenching to even think about letting the cat go. Since Autumn seems to have a safe spot in the lanai, then let that be her territory. Definitely get a cat tree or something so she can be high up! She needs to feel "safe" from the world. It appears she has made a lot of progress in the trust department in just a few short months. Maybe it's not time to give up, but to give it more time! Bengals love and demand attention -- thus all three kitties need to have that time with humans, especially play time. Just the fact that you are gone most of the day at work and the kitties are left to amuse themselves means nothing can be worked on to improve the situation. I also believe the cats sense the stress you are going through. Do you have Feliway diffusers throughout the home? That can "soften" things. Jackson Galaxy also sells holistic products that are added to the cat's water -- covers different behavioral problems. Check out http://www.spiritessences.com and see if there may be something there that helps. It's worth a try considering everything else is not working. But ... get your home catified, if it means 3 cat trees. I have one cat and three trees! Every kitty needs its own space.

Please keep us posted.


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 22, 2016 2:17 am 
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Sherry wrote:
When you love a kitty, it is heart wrenching to even think about letting the cat go. Since Autumn seems to have a safe spot in the lanai, then let that be her territory. Definitely get a cat tree or something so she can be high up! She needs to feel "safe" from the world. It appears she has made a lot of progress in the trust department in just a few short months. Maybe it's not time to give up, but to give it more time! Bengals love and demand attention -- thus all three kitties need to have that time with humans, especially play time. Just the fact that you are gone most of the day at work and the kitties are left to amuse themselves means nothing can be worked on to improve the situation. I also believe the cats sense the stress you are going through. Do you have Feliway diffusers throughout the home? That can "soften" things. Jackson Galaxy also sells holistic products that are added to the cat's water -- covers different behavioral problems. Check out http://www.spiritessences.com and see if there may be something there that helps. It's worth a try considering everything else is not working. But ... get your home catified, if it means 3 cat trees. I have one cat and three trees! Every kitty needs its own space.

Please keep us posted.


I've tried using Feliway spray and it seemed to have no effect on any of the cats really. But I haven't tried plug ins. You know, I've been thinking of Jackson galaxy's spirt essenses. I was reading reviews on them and they seemed pretty happy with results... Plus They're sold by Jackson galaxy so how can I not?

Thanks so much for the support!

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 22, 2016 2:39 pm 
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The Feliway diffusers are probably going to work better than the spray! And you need more than one. Some on here have used Jackson's Spirit Essences. Hopefully, they will weigh in on their opinion. Regardless, it can't hurt to try.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 26, 2016 8:13 am 
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Before we got our two Bengal girls we had a normal cat named Tigerli. Tigerli was outside alot but always came inside to sleep by us or to have a snooze on the sofa. When the girls came it changed Tigerlis life upside down. The girls would want to sniff her and she would start hissing and fighting with the girls so Tigerli had to go outside. I tried looking for a new home for her with no luck (Thankfully). Since it snowed outside and getting real cold outside we tried getting Tigerli inside. After alot of hissing she has FINALLY given up and accepts the girls. But really she only accepts then being around..she will still hiss if the girls come too close to her. But yesterday for example all three were sleeping on one bed! It took Tigerli almost 1 year to get used to the new kitties..but finally it has worked! I am glad we were patient and I hope all goes well with your kitties!

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 26, 2016 5:53 pm 
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Sometimes it takes a very long time .... I think the animals just give up and accept the situation.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 26, 2016 7:17 pm 
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Genevieve wrote:
Before we got our two Bengal girls we had a normal cat named Tigerli. Tigerli was outside alot but always came inside to sleep by us or to have a snooze on the sofa. When the girls came it changed Tigerlis life upside down. The girls would want to sniff her and she would start hissing and fighting with the girls so Tigerli had to go outside. I tried looking for a new home for her with no luck (Thankfully). Since it snowed outside and getting real cold outside we tried getting Tigerli inside. After alot of hissing she has FINALLY given up and accepts the girls. But really she only accepts then being around..she will still hiss if the girls come too close to her. But yesterday for example all three were sleeping on one bed! It took Tigerli almost 1 year to get used to the new kitties..but finally it has worked! I am glad we were patient and I hope all goes well with your kitties!


I am glad this worked out for you too. I'm sure it made your heart flutter to see all three of them on the same bed, I know it would make mine flutter! This gives me great hope!

This weekend was a good weekend for autumn. After cleaning up all the urine, weput a second litter box downstairs with a different type of litter and we saw her use this one. This has given us a little hope in regards to the urine/markings. We're gonna test to see if maybe this type of litter is what she prefers in her safe room too.

She spent most of her weekend on the couch curled up with us and both Lapka and basil walked passed her without much thought. At one point She was on the lanai and wanted to come in, and her and basil walked up to each other and touched noses without any negative reactions from either of them. My heart almost burst with happiness. They all seemed okay co existing with one another, just one growling match which is much better than the past.

We put her in her safe room when we are at work, only because we worry if a fight happens when we are not home, she has no claws to protect herself from basil and Lapka. It seems like last night after we let her out the cats were more agitated with each other again. Hissing and went after one another at first. I'm almost wondering if keeping her in her room while we are away degresses the progress we make over the weekend. But I'm not sure what to do, because I worry about her safety when we're not home.

Still waiting for our feliways plug ins to come in, let's hope this helps too!

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 27, 2016 3:35 pm 
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Sounds like things are improving. Hope they continue! I know it's been difficult for you and Autumn. Happy the litter box problem seems to have been solved. Cats are really particular about the type of box and the type of litter.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 28, 2016 8:19 am 
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By us I think it was the "Two against one" problem. Phaedra and Lilith would corner Tigerli and that's when she would start hissing and hitting with her paws. The moment she started I would put her outside. Might sound unfair but I couldn't let my two girls out obviously. It took a long time for Tigerli to understand that the girls wont hurt her,they are just curious. But I am so happy that they "get along" now. They aren't friends but at least they tolerate each other now. Like I said it took a long time. But its definitely worth the waiting! Seeing them three all snoozing on one bed was amazing and really made me happy! So don't give up and it sounds like they are making good progress!

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