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PostPosted: Sun Jan 10, 2016 5:33 pm 
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Bengal Kitten

Joined: Mon Aug 25, 2014 12:32 pm
Posts: 10
Yesterday, sadly my little Toyger had to be put to sleep. She was one of two cats and though I'm not entirely sure my Bengal has even noticed she will not return yet, I want to prepare myself for when he does and any tips people have for depression in this kind of situation are very welcomed.

As far as I'm aware (we re-homed the two cats several years ago) the two have been together since birth so I'm very worried as to how this new loneliness will effect him. Will something like feliway play an important role in keeping him happy when he finally realises or will just extra love and attention be what he needs? After the passing of my mother we had a lot of issues with him going out of the litter tray and essentially had to retrain him.

Though this is something I'm not at all thinking of at the moment as the loss has come as quite an upset, a friend of mine mentioned the introduction of another cat in the coming months as it will be unfair to him to be left alone. While I'm not opposed to the idea, it's seems like it will present many issues. For one my Bengal is around the 7 years age mark and as he's gotten older he has become a lot more dominant. Because of this I feel I have no real ability to judge whether he would take kindly to a new female companion. Again this is an area I would like some advise on.

Many thanks, John


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 10, 2016 6:28 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Mon Jan 12, 2015 2:26 pm
Posts: 724
I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your Toyger. It seems as though your bengal is sensitive to upsets in the house as he was toileting out of the litter box during a stressful time in your life. I would just give him lots of love, play and attention. Feliway is a good idea. He may not mind being alone or it may upset him; only time will tell. Make sure he has lots of lovely beds and areas in the house that are where you spend most of your time. I would be very wary of introducing a new cat or kitten if he has shown dominant tendencies. He may be happier alone. Wait and see how he is before making any decisions.

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Oscar - Rescue (Rascal!!!) Bengal


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 10, 2016 6:50 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Thu Aug 28, 2014 11:22 pm
Posts: 730
I am so sorry for your loss.

I would wait and see how your Bengal reacts. I would expect lots of searching and crying for a while but just offer him lots of attention and support. I have had situations myself in the past when one of my cats has lost his best friend and they do readjust.

Some cats can settle very well on their own and you may become much closer. When my cat lost his best friend (they were together for 14 years) we became much closer and important to him.

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Oscar and Jasper (or one ear and two ears as dh calls them) black rescue mogges

RIP my sweet baby Dexter, Snow Bengal 19/5/14 to 5/3/15 and my lovely dear old friend Muskey, Brown Burmese put to rest aged 15 on 14/11/15.

Debbie


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 10, 2016 6:53 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat
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Joined: Thu Dec 02, 2010 1:00 am
Posts: 4145
Location: Portland Oregon, USA
I would normally say that feliway is for the exact opposite situation. It's for cats that feel territoriality challenged, often because of the introduction of a new cat, and thus feel the need to mark. But I guess these types of things don't always make intuitive sense, and whatever works is the right thing to do.

Based on what you've said, I do think introducing a new cat to a 7 year old cat who is known to be somewhat of a bully is obviously problematic. Also, I think cats have a very different sort of relationship with humans (especially their owner) than they do each other, so I wouldn't expect the reaction to be the same. Were they your mother's cats and you took them after her death? If that's the case then I probably wouldn't attribute the marking to her death, per say, but rather the change in environment and feeling territorial insecure that resulted because of it. But that's making a lot of assumptions on my part...

I think love and extra attention on your part is the best remedy to start with. If another cat is what is needed to make the house not seem empty and to help get you guys through the day, then I'm sure you can manage it, but just know that it probably won't be easy.

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 11, 2016 4:42 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Thu May 23, 2013 2:21 pm
Posts: 8149
John, I am so very sorry for your loss. We have all felt the grief you are feeling. Know that cats do indeed grieve and every cat will be different. I know someone who lost one of her bengals and his sister is howling and looking for him and is miserable! She wants to get another bengal right away. I think it is important to allow the time to grieve and you can shower all your love and affection onto your kitty!

Adding a new kitty is not always easy! Do you get a kitten? An older cat? If your bengal is prone to bullying, that could be a huge problem as new kitties have a hard enough time adjusting to a new environment. I'd take a "wait and see" attitude. Play with your bengal, give it as much attention as you can and you may discover he is fine being the only cat in the house. Only you can make that decision in the end, but know that a new addition will require a LOT of time and patience and introductions are slow and cover weeks. {{{HUGS}}}


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 12, 2016 5:42 pm 
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Bengal Kitten

Joined: Mon Aug 25, 2014 12:32 pm
Posts: 10
Thank you everybody for your kind words, I really appreciate it.

Though it's only been a short while he seems fine so far and as many of you have said, only time will tell. The range of advice has been very helpful and I'll keep this in mind over the coming weeks.
I'll possibly report back at some point if he really starts to feel it or if the introduction of another cats seems like a good choice.

Thank you so much,

John


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 12, 2016 6:31 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Thu May 23, 2013 2:21 pm
Posts: 8149
We are here for you if you have any more questions.


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