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PostPosted: Sat Oct 10, 2015 3:51 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Thu May 23, 2013 2:21 pm
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Please, please, please, calm down! Never take out your anger on a kitty. They do not understand what they did wrong. You're dealing with a painfully scared and shy kitten. It's totally not fair to Pixel. You may need to spend your time with Pixel in her "territory." She needs to find the confidence in her room before you're taking her elsewhere. I would not change Pixel's room at this point. It will only confuse her and she'll have to discover a new territory. It seems to me that perhaps Pixel was not socialized well. This is not her fault, but it will take some time. Right now, she needs to hear a soft voice.

How much activity is going on in the living room? Kids playing? TV on? It may be too much for Pixel at this stage of the game. Right now, you need to be spending time with her in her room. I don't like a cat feeling isolated, but taking her out of her "safe" place is causing her more anxiety right now. If you want to attempt to switch her rooms, then you need to carry her into your bedroom and spend some time in there with her and see how she does.

For many owners, they feel they bring the cats home, let the cats out of the carrier, show them the food, water and litter box and the cats go on their merry little way of playing. That's not how it works! There is an adjustment period for everyone -- humans and the cats. And there is a bonding process that can take time and owners need to spend that time and have the patience to see this through. So it takes the first month or so. After that, things are usually great.

You won't see a result unless you put in the effort -- and that means PATIENCE, lots of PATIENCE. Every time Pixel has to run away to be safe, you're taking a step backwards. Give this more time. Keep us posted.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 12, 2015 1:07 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Wed Aug 12, 2015 4:13 pm
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Hi Sherry,

Thanks again for your informative post. I'm very aware that I need to have more patience, which was the reason for admittance of my behavior.

Here's an update:

So, we decided switching rooms would be something we should try. We had a Vet appointment Saturday morning for her, and felt that coming home from the vet would be the perfect time because she would already be in the carrier and wouldn't get startled from being handled and brought all the way down stairs. Well, I'm not sure if she felt better because she was closer to our living areas instead of a strange, stimulusless bedroom upstairs, but what a world of a difference. The two were playing together. Occasionally they would get really aggressive and Pixel would run away from Iso. Iso would chase her down and they'd fight again. Then I'd say 'no!' pick Iso up gently and place her somewhere else, and Pixel would then run after Iso. Pixel has started to stand her ground against Iso much better now, and even hisses and growls when she's playing with her mouse toy. Previously she would just run away and cower.

Caitlin's parent's came over and Pixel was much less apprehensive. There was hammering and drilling going on, and she was still there, right in the action. She is still very hesitant to let me touch her, and still hides until she sees who is walking into the room. We have been keeping her in our master bathroom during the day, and today I had to go back in to check something, so I said hi really quickly, and she rubbed her face on my hand.

Again, she's not completely comfortable, and i have to keep reminding myself of that and to be cognizant of that, but the progress we made over the weekend has helped me out tremendously. As it is, I was hoping for a cuddly bengal, but Iso will fill that role. Before bed last night, Pixel was laying in the cat tree in our bedroom and Iso was sleeping on Caitlin's lap while we were watching TV.

We were going to let them sleep in the same room because we thought they were both tired, but they immediately started playing, so we separated them back into their safe rooms.

All in all, this is quite a learning experience. But I am holding onto hope that Pixel will come around, and there is some evidence of that.

Thanks for all your guidance. We will continue to provide updates. I'll upload a few more photos when I get home from work.

:)


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 12, 2015 1:20 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Wed Aug 12, 2015 4:13 pm
Posts: 118
Oh, here's another photo of Iso.

Image


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 12, 2015 3:55 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Thu May 23, 2013 2:21 pm
Posts: 8149
There can be an amazing improvement in just 24 hours, as you've seen. I'm not in your situation, you are. You know what may be best to try and it seems as if moving Pixel into another room has helped. Maybe because it's bigger, has a better smell (YOUR smell), seems more "safe" to her. The fact the kitties are playing is a great sign and Pixel is holding her ground -- what a huge difference. Continue doing what you're doing and see where things are in another week. At the rate things are going, I'm sure you will have a peaceful household. Keep us posted. We love the updates.

Love seeing pictures of your kitties. Can't wait to see one of them sleeping together.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 12, 2015 3:59 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Wed Aug 12, 2015 4:13 pm
Posts: 118
Thank you so much, Sherry. I can't articulate how amazing it is to have this community. It gives us much confidence that we'll have some guidance in case of any issues.

Thank you so much for your attentiveness and contribution and care for complete strangers.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 12, 2015 4:15 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Thu May 23, 2013 2:21 pm
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That's what this forum is about. Encouragement is what I'm most proud of. Many bengal/cat owners come on here and are desperate in whatever situation they are in. There are always solutions, but encouraging the owners to have patience and take the necessary time is the main thing. We want to hear the success story at the end of the line. It means we have helped someone out and the owners and kitties are happy.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 12, 2015 4:39 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat

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I did have one more question regarding Pixel. We keep her in the bathroom at night, as we're not completely confident to let them roam all night long given that we're not settled in and there is still packing material everywhere.

It seems that Pixel likes to sleep under her blanket (the blanket the breeder gave us to carry the scent). She'll flip it up and go under it and sleep. Every time she's around her blanket, she'll flip it up and go under it. I'm not sure if this is just fear because she's alone in the bathroom all night? Or if she just likes being under the covers? I tend to just let her do it and try not to startle her when she's under it, I am just worried about the fear aspect.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 12, 2015 7:57 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat

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I don't think it's a fear factor in Pixel wanting to be under her blanket. Many kitties love being covered up. Does your bathroom have carpet or tile? Is their a throw rug in there? Does she feel chilled in there with the coolness of a tile floor and porcelain fixtures (toilet, tub). If she's content, then let her be! It's more about HER at this point than you. I'm sure she's super adorable under the covers.

You can continue to have her in the bathroom for a couple more weeks, but that does not need to be her bedroom for all times. Once you get settled in and everything is unpacked, then work on getting her out in the open and exploring and getting along with ISO. Now, do both kitties sleep through the night? You may find when they are out together at night, they start a hockey match at 2:30 a.m. They'll find something to bat around and chase -- just be prepared! The best scenario is that they both cuddle up to you in bed and sleep 8 hours. LOL. You are in for the adventure of your life.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 13, 2015 3:00 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat

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I am so proud of Pixel! She's getting much more comfortable. She let me pet her for a good while last night. Still does not like to be held at all. She squirms like a frog trying to get out. They still rough house and get into hissing matches, but they are eating together and able to play for a bit. She is eating much more, and she's less apprehensive of loud noises. Sudden movements still freak her out. And she crouches down to the ground every time I try to pet her, but I have seen a world of a difference in just a few days.

Iso, who is a DSH, was able to get onto the counter top before Pixel, which we did not expect at all. Pixel hasn't really been much of a jumper or leaper, but she is DEFINITELY getting that loud, confident Bengal temperament.

When they fight together, Iso will always manage to find a ledge that's a little higher than Pixel, and jump on her back. That's when Pixel gets annoyed and growls or hisses, but in my mind, it's more 'damn! you got me!' rather than 'get away from me!'. We separate them, but then one will go engage the other, so I don't believe they are getting TOO upset by it. We still keep them in their rooms while we're at work, and have them sleep in the same rooms overnight.


To answer a few questions:
All the main areas and Pixel's bathroom are tile.
They definitely seem to sleep through the night when we separate them. They'll cry for a bit when the door is closed, but then they'll calm down.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 13, 2015 5:33 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Thu May 23, 2013 2:21 pm
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Progress is being made -- a little at a time! Every day will be a better one for you. ISO and Pixel will soon be best buddies and Pixel will be more social with you. Just think about where you were when Pixel first came to your home. Quite an improvement, right? Settling in is the hardest part -- everyone's world is turned upside down. Everyone has to adjust! For the kitties, it's more of an adjustment because they don't understand just yet. Please continue with the updates -- love hearing about them and the progress Pixel is making.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 22, 2015 9:19 am 
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Senior Bengal
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Joined: Thu Jul 30, 2015 3:12 pm
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Firstly your kittens are adorable!

We have 3 bengals, our latest (Jaego now a 5 month old boy) came home a few months ago now to a house already containing a 6 year old girl and a humungous 18 month old boy. Jaego was confined to our bedroom for the first few days but quickly wanted to explore, that said he was petrified of everything and ran away from everything back to the safety of under our bed, wouldn't allow us to touch him or get near him at all - he was genuinely frightened. I actually spent the whole of one day lay on a hard wooden floor next to our bed with an outstretched arm reaching under the bed just next to him (even fell asleep at one point, waking to find I could barely stand - I'm too old for these sort of antics!!) . Both Chester and Meili (our existing cats) hissed and spat at him any opportunity they got and all was very stressful at first especially as I was worried about Chester being as large as he is yet still relatively a baby himself but, I can honestly say by the time we approached the end of week one our newbie was having fuss and play and all cats were starting to engage.
My advice would be to never put the cats together but leave the doors open for them to roam into each others space, if one hisses or spits the other will probably run back to their 'safe space' usually under a bed or something similar. Obviously if one appears to be terrorising the other that needs to be dealt with but I doubt this would happen with two youngsters. I have found with any introduction I have made that they always come together better in play - as you have found they concentrate on the play item rather than each other but this still helps them as they get used to being In the same space whilst doing something enjoyable. If possible I try to feed together once they are adjusted enough to come into a shared space, I think that any enjoyable experience for them is best done together if you can as they may then associate good experiences with each other and see being around each other as a good thing. Hope that made some sort of sense!
Hang in there, is it stressful but time and patience will pay off. We have three happy cats now who eat, sleep, play and groom each other and we are only a few months into our latest addition, I am sure it will work out but I understand you just wanting them to snuggle and comfort each other as this is what we all want and I am sure in time they will be great mates xx

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Rebecca
West Midlands, England

Proud mum, provider, waiter & general house slave to:
Meili brown spot born 07.11.09
Chester seal lynx rosetted born 10.04.14
Jaego melanistic born 16.05.15
Roxi big, sloppy French Mastiff born 10.04.11


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 22, 2015 3:11 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Wed Aug 12, 2015 4:13 pm
Posts: 118
Thanks for the reply, Rebecca. Pixel is definitely doing better. We leave them alone all day while we go to work and at night. They still get into it and rough house quite a bit, but Pixel is bigger and faster than Iso, so she can get away if she really wanted to.

They are definitely getting along better though. I came home the other day to find them both at the top of our giant cat tree together. The only issue now is that Pixel does not seem to like or want anything to do with us. She doesn't hiss, growl or run away, but if I reach out, she will duck, take 5 steps back and sit down again. I pick her up and force her to let me hold her for a few seconds, but then she starts struggling so I let her go.

She doesn't hate us, but she doesn't seem to like us either. Part of me is a bit sad, because I want to interact and hold her and show her I care, but she won't let me. She just eats the food I give her and plays with the toys I buy her, but simply does not seem to care for us.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 22, 2015 3:35 pm 
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Senior Bengal
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Joined: Thu Jul 30, 2015 3:12 pm
Posts: 87
caitlinmarie wrote:
Thanks for the reply, Rebecca. Pixel is definitely doing better. We leave them alone all day while we go to work and at night. They still get into it and rough house quite a bit, but Pixel is bigger and faster than Iso, so she can get away if she really wanted to.

They are definitely getting along better though. I came home the other day to find them both at the top of our giant cat tree together. The only issue now is that Pixel does not seem to like or want anything to do with us. She doesn't hiss, growl or run away, but if I reach out, she will duck, take 5 steps back and sit down again. I pick her up and force her to let me hold her for a few seconds, but then she starts struggling so I let her go.

She doesn't hate us, but she doesn't seem to like us either. Part of me is a bit sad, because I want to interact and hold her and show her I care, but she won't let me. She just eats the food I give her and plays with the toys I buy her, but simply does not seem to care for us.


I am so glad they are getting along and seem to be settling in, love the pictures xx

I'm afraid they tend to be the personalities they want to be and not necessarily what we want them to be, however, I am sure that over time they will become more affectionate.
Jaego (our youngest at 5 months) and Chester (our 18 month old) are not fussy cats although they have their moments and when they do I love it! Chester will not tolerate being picked up at all and he rarely visits a lap although if he does it is only ever mine and it is rare and on his terms - too much stroking and he's off! Jaego will allow you to pick him up and he loves you to rub your face in his fur he purrs instantly and really loudly but after 10 seconds he wants to go down and I respect that - sometimes I can hold him in my arms like a baby for 5 mins or so - I feel this is increasing over time but I think it is because I don't force them as such - yes I do pick him up but if he struggles I put him down straight away. Our eldest Meili who is 6 next month is your cuddly, snuggle puss. I could cradle her in may arms and walk around the house all day and she would love it. She will sleep in your bed cuddled up to you if allowed and follows you around from room to room like a dog she is the most affectionate cat to humans and cats alike that I have ever met. Other than going on about my cats (sorry I do a lot - I love them!!) my reason for this is to give examples of our 3 who are all completely different and all have different levels of tolerance when it comes to fuss but all my cats past and present have all become more loving and accepting of me and my human family over time but it does take time and some take longer than others.
I don't doubt that you will eventually be able to enjoy your fuss and love with your furry bundles of joy but you may have to wait longer then you had hoped but it will be so worth it when it happens.
I think being as they are so highly strung and I feel like saying opinionated (not sure that is correct to say about a cat but I feel this breed are) then when you finally get that bond in whatever shape or form it comes it is a real treasure

_________________
Rebecca
West Midlands, England

Proud mum, provider, waiter & general house slave to:
Meili brown spot born 07.11.09
Chester seal lynx rosetted born 10.04.14
Jaego melanistic born 16.05.15
Roxi big, sloppy French Mastiff born 10.04.11


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 23, 2015 3:53 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Thu May 23, 2013 2:21 pm
Posts: 8149
Oh dear -- now that Pixel and Iso are getting to be best buddies, the humans aren't their favorite people any more! It's typical and that's a huge complaint among the owners. That's why you got two of them. You can still interact with them by playing with both of them at the same time. Sounds like Pixel may never be a cuddly kitty that you can hold. I can pick up my 8-year old and hold him for about 10 seconds before his paw tries to push me away. Every cat's personality is different. You just have to accept them for the kitty they are.


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 23, 2015 4:40 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Wed Aug 12, 2015 4:13 pm
Posts: 118
Yup, and I am slowly coming to that realization. There are times when she will let me touch her, namely, when I get home from work and 3AM when they keep me up cuz she likes jumping onto the bed and pouncing every time either of us shifts position.

Iso crawled under the covers and cuddled up next to my stomach last night. My heart melted, then Pixel ruined the moment because she jumped on Iso and they both instantly engaged 'play mode'. :lol:


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