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PostPosted: Wed Aug 26, 2015 8:24 pm 
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Bengal Kitten

Joined: Wed Aug 26, 2015 8:07 pm
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Hello,

We are new to the Bengal family & community. Let me 1st by saying we did extensive research before adopting our Bengal but we now need some help.

Our Bengal is about 2.5 years old. We adopted her from a lady off Craigslist (yes I know, shame shame.) The lady told us that she was too vocal for her and didn't like visitors. She said she was very skittish because her breeder kept her locked in a room for the 1st 9 months of her life.

Our Bengal is is very loud but we don't mind as we have 3 other cats that can be just as loud even though they are DSH. "Neko" doesn't like the other cats even though we slowly introduced them. They have tried to play with her but she takes it as being bullied and fights back. She is scared to eat with them so she stands on the washer and waits for them to finish. She will walk all over the kitchen counters & table to get to the box or food instead of walking by the others on the floor.

She also doesn't like human companionship. We're not asking for a cuddly kitty as we already have those. We just want to be able for her to relax and enjoy herself with the others around.

She has free roam of the 2000+ sq ft home as the others do. Any advice would be greatly appreciated on how we can tame her down and play with the others. I believe she is an F4.

Thanks in advance for anyone's help.


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 29, 2015 9:11 am 
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Asian Leopard Cat
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Location: Portland Oregon, USA
The problem is that you really haven't introduced them properly. As slowly as you think you introduced them, it wasn't nearly slow enough. A cat to cat introduction is complete when they can eat together and tolerate being around each other without hostility, and when the newcomer is confident around the others and around his new home and all it's residents. Clearly they are not there yet, not close it sounds like, so you need to take a step back and start over. If Neko is scared, and feels bullied, and is relegated to eating leftovers when the other cats are finished, like you describe, then he really has no business being left out with the other cats. He needs his own room for awhile. His own food and water dish, his own litterbox, his own cat bed, and preferably a tree or something to claim. You need to visit him, and play with him and spend time with him in "his" space for awhile, alone with him, so that you build up his confidence and develop your own bond with him without competition from the other cats. Then you need to chip away at integrating him with the other cats slowly. Slowly means you set down his dish far away from the others, but in earshot, or in line of sight, and see what happens. And if it fails, he goes back and eats in his room, you regroup, and try again the next day. Maybe further even further away. Or maybe you observe that he just isn't confident enough overall to do something like that, so you keep him in his room for another week, building up his overall confidence and then try again the following week. Something like that.

There are a lot of good resources for the cat introduction process. The "My Cat From Hell" tv series shows it many times. There are also good videos on youtube that people have done. Cat magazines have articles on this, and there are good books like "Cat vs Cat".

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PostPosted: Sat Aug 29, 2015 2:47 pm 
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Bengal Kitten

Joined: Wed Aug 26, 2015 8:07 pm
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Thanks for the response Brian. Although we did research & did slowly introduce her to the others. She was in her own room for an entire month. When we went to the person's home to visit her a few times to observe her behavior, we noticed she did not like the person's other cat either and they had been together for nearly 2 years.

Neko goes nuts when she is in her own room. Literally destroys things and refuses to use the litter box. We have a cat tree and that is clearly her's and she has made it known to the others. We've caught her playing with the one but as soon as the other 2 join in, she gets mad. She'll come over to the cat bowls and will eat with them as long as she is up higher from them.

We're just trying to find a way to make her more comfortable. We're in a much larger house so now she enjoys being out and about just not bothered by the other cats. We're giving her all the time she needs to work out her issues with the other cats. She is NOT going anywhere and will be staying in this forever home.


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 29, 2015 2:51 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Thu May 23, 2013 2:21 pm
Posts: 8146
First of all, welcome to the forum and bless you for taking this kitty cat. Know that any change in environment is traumatic for many cats. This one appears to be stressed beyond belief. It's difficult for a new kitty to find its "place" among other cats who have been in the home for a long while. New kid on the block, so to speak. This poor little girl is terrified! She needs extra attention. And she needs her own area of the house in which to feel safe. To spend time with her, I'd advise taking her into a separate room and playing with her. Obviously her life was not good in her other home. Some cats simply do not like other cats and .... if I had been told that, then the cat should only go to a home where there are no other kitties. Sometimes you just can't integrate the cats. It's not going to happen no matter what. This kitty is not a kitten, but an adult and the personality is well formed by that time. I can only imagine what she's going through right now.

However, since you do not plan to give up .... you'll have to spend a lot of time (and patience) in attempting to her to get along with the other cats.


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 02, 2015 4:01 am 
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Asian Leopard Cat
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Location: Melbourne, Australia
ahhamom22 wrote:
When we went to the person's home to visit her a few times to observe her behavior, we noticed she did not like the person's other cat either and they had been together for nearly 2 years.


Did you ever think that maybe this cat does not like other cats and will never get along with them? Sometimes cats are just this way inclined, so you may be fighting a losing battle, no matter what you do.

As Brian said, go back to square one and start from scratch. See what eventuates. I have a feeling though that you may never get this cat to get along with your existing mob. Which would be a shame, but sometimes this is just what happens.


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 02, 2015 7:37 am 
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Asian Leopard Cat
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Location: Portland Oregon, USA
Yea, since it has been that long now and hasn't been much improvement, you might need to think about this long-term. True, it's not fair to her to be trapped in a single room for months on end, while the other cat gets the run of the house. So you may need to think in terms of sort of dividing up the house between your two cats. Another thing to consider is "site swapping". The cats take turns being confined while the other is "sprung".

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 02, 2015 1:42 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Thu May 23, 2013 2:21 pm
Posts: 8146
I just reunited a cat that was hanging around my house with its owner and was informed that they have an indoor cat and an outdoor cat that simply do not like this kitty and chase it away from the yard. The stray was the sweetest thing. Now, 48 hours later, I have my misgivings about returning the cat. The owner said she'd try to keep the cat indoors but already had 5 indoor cats (and 5 outdoor cats). This kitty needs to be happy and comfortable in its home! I'm hoping you can get the situation improved. An unhappy kitty is the worst thing in the world. As Brian stated, you may have to start all over again. It hasn't been that long .... but gosh, this may take a while--if ever.


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