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Bengal Cat Forums • View topic - Bengal with a baby on the way?
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 08, 2015 9:51 pm 
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Bengal Kitten

Joined: Mon Jun 08, 2015 7:50 am
Posts: 3
Hello everyone! :>
I have found your forum last night, and literally stayed up very late simply reading and getting more and more informed about this beautiful breed. I have a few questions though and i think that your community would be the best for me to ask. I tend to be long winded so i will try to keep it on the shorter side..!

I'll incorporate a bit of a back story but if you want to skip straight to the questions, i put a tl;dr below the wall-of-text..!

We have been looking to adopt a cat in the last few weeks and preferably one that is known to cause less allergies than regular domestic cats. I have had cats before moving across country but have been cat-less for the two years i have been here; the ones i had before are now living with my brother. The vet did not advise a plane ride for one of them which was very old and very jumpy, prone to eating disorders when anything too stressful would happen, and i could not bear separating them as they grew up together. So i prefered to break my own heart instead of risking anymore health issues for him.

We are expecting our first child this december and ever since i have been out here, i am been a wreck everytime i would hear about the ones i left with my brother, when he would send me pictures or see other cats around. I miss having a pet, having life around the house -oh so much-, it is not even funny (and the hormones right now are not making it any better). We recently moved to a new house, rented, and managed to convince the landlord to potentially have pets. My evil mastermind plan was then set in motion: finding a breed that would not cause as many allergies as i did have mild allergies to the couple i had but my love for them was stronger than the sniffles they were giving me, screw going through 2846245 tissue boxes per month, i was keeping my kitties, thank you very much. This was pretty much my way of thinking for the 8 years i've had them. My boyfriend, though, would not have it this way right now. It is either a cat that do not affect me or nothing, for my sake and the one of our future child i am currently carrying.

My other brother has a beautiful sphynx and so does my father and his wife, they have three, and i have never had any troubles at all with them. At first, we looked into getting a sphynx but there seem to be very very few breeders out here from the research i have done and that is when we stumbled upon the bengal. And boy did my heart do a 180 on the sphynx when i looked at them, read about their personalities and everything about them. I am in love with the breed. We have met a few breeders already and allergy wise, everything seem #1; one breeder even told me i could come back a few other times to play with her cats to really make sure i am good and have no reaction and i intend to... As much to make sure as to just be around those gorgeous creatures again!

Here is the thing though, they are said to be excellent family cats, which was also another thing that have drawn us to them. The active part of them, having to play alot and taking them out is also perfect for us and our lifestyle. As is the whole "home catifying". My boyfriend is a carpenter by trade and is already starting to sketch out things he could build for the cat on the walls, or furniture modifications.

Tl;dr ->
But are they good with newborns? Is it a good idea to get one about 5 months before the baby is born, so we have time to let him adapt to the new home, and to us? The breeder we met still have a few kittens and they would be ready to go mid-july; that would give us a month to prepare here, and 5 before baby comes. Do they get jealous? Is there anything to be aware of, aside from the simple logic of always being in the same room as the baby and not leave the cat alone with him, not let the cat into the crib and so on? Any tips/advices?

I am really wanting to have a cat again and bengals just seem like the perfect fit. And i do want our child to grow up with a furry friend. I have already been put off of work and so i would be home with the cat most days, and then again for the next 2 years or so after the birth of the child. I have been reading up a lot on them and adjusting everything according to what i have read.

We (i?) simply need reassurance right now that it would be something good as much for us, the baby, and the kitten himself. I want to do things right for everyone and do not want to jump blindly into something that could potentially not be best at the time for anyone. While it would be disheartening to have to wait next year, since my decision is pretty much made to get a bengal, the matter really is "when", i am willing to do so if it really would be best in the long run.

Sorry about the lenghty read, and thank you for any advice you could have! :]


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 09, 2015 1:28 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat
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Joined: Tue Sep 23, 2014 6:38 pm
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Here is something to think about. Yes bengals make wonderful pets, but they are not hypoallergenic. They do shed less, but people still have reactions to them. Maybe you can manage your reaction with medication, but what if your baby has a very bad reaction to cats? At that point you will have a wonderful loving Bengal that has bonded with you and you most likely will want to re-home him due to an issue with a new baby. That could break a cats heart.

I think it would be better to wait until your child is a year or so old and see how she is around cats before introducing one into your home. I don't think my two cats could be happy elsewhere. They are both so sensitive and we have definitely bonded. They may not be human, but they are like children that depend on me.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 09, 2015 2:29 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Mon Jan 12, 2015 2:26 pm
Posts: 734
Totally agree with the above! I have not had a bengal with a baby, but I have had babies and boy are you going to be tired! Having a high maintenance cat that you are going to need to put a lot of time and effort into at the same time as a baby may be very stressful for you and not great for the kitten. I have a 6yr old rescue bengal and work from home. A lot of my time is devoted to him as my kids are at school all day and then the kids take over play time when they come home. My bengal is very loud too and that may not be a great mix with nap times for the baby! Why don't you wait until your little one is a bit older and you have slightly more time/sleep etc. I can imagine how hard it is to not have a cat around but for your own sanity I would advise you wait until after baby is born, as you will be soooooo tired . You sound like a very experienced cat parent and also very selfless for what you did for your other kitties. Hang in there......you will have your baby to cuddle very soon! If you really cannot wait then make sure your husband is willing to totally devote lots of time to the kitten if you can't. Good luck

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Melissa

UK
Oscar - Rescue (Rascal!!!) Bengal


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 09, 2015 3:10 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Sat May 19, 2012 8:00 am
Posts: 752
Location: Ogden, UT
Question... what does td;lr stand for?

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 09, 2015 3:32 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Thu May 23, 2013 2:21 pm
Posts: 9217
Welcome to the forum. Simply having a baby puts an awful lot on your plate. Caring for one is a full time job. The same can be said for a kitten -- especially a bengal kitten. I'm going to go off in a different direction and ask that you maybe consider adopting an older bengal rescue. I say this because an older bengal should be somewhat calmer than a new kitten. Know that while bengals do not shed the way a regular cat does, they do still shed, especially if there is a huge difference in temperatures where you live. My Raiden sheds a lot in the spring time.

Just know that any kitty is going to be super curious once the baby and the new smell and noise arrives. Bengals require a lot of human interaction and catification around the house. They love to play -- even my 8 year old Raiden. And he is a perpetual 3-year old. So, it's like having a toddler forever.

There is so much to prepare for when having a baby. If you were to get a bengal kitten, it would still be a kitten when your baby arrives. It sounds as if you're not prepared to wait another year or two -- cats have gotten along with new babies since the beginning of time -- you will not be the first.

Regardless of whether you go with a kitten or an adult bengal, be prepared to spend a lot of time with the kitty. Get the kitty settled in over the next few months. Do not allow the kitty in the baby's room when you are not around to supervise. The cat should not become jealous as long as the kitty is getting enough attention. And you'll know you're winning when the kitty will lay or sleep next to you while you're holding or feeding the baby.

Congratulations on the upcoming arrival(s).


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 09, 2015 6:32 pm 
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Bengal Kitten

Joined: Mon Jun 08, 2015 7:50 am
Posts: 3
Thank you everyone for the input. It is greatly appreciated!

I do know that bengals are not hypoallergenic, but from what i gathered, they often do not cause as much of a problem allergy-wise as domestic cats do. It is also the reason why, if we do decide to go ahead and get one before the baby is born(or anytime at all), i would go and spend some more time with bengals at a local breeders cattery. As in getting a few scratches, stuffing my face in their fur and so on. This would be the initial test and if from there i still get reactions, then it would (very sadly, very very very very very sadly) be a no go. From previous meetings, things seemed very good. I do want to go a few more times to be very sure though.

I did think about the baby and "what if" once he comes. I would hate to have to re-home a pet after bonding as well; still "grieving" after having had to leave my other two cats with my brother when we moved out here, two years later!

As far as dedicated time goes for the bengal, i am also someone that works from home as a freelancer and already have been taking less contracts because of the pregnancy, to avoid much of the deadlines stress and too much sitting at the computer. We also had already decided that i would stay at home for the first few years of the child. So dedicated time would not be an issue, but i can see how it could potentially be after the baby is born. My boyfriend on the other hand is very willing to do everything it takes and also spend a lot of time with the cat (if/when we do get one).

I did think a lot about adopting an older bengal; in fact one of the breeder, and the one i chose to adopt from if/when the time comes, currently has a retired queen up for adoption and she is only 3 1/2 years old. Not old by any means. But... Boyfriend wants a kitten and really do not want an adult cat. I personally would not mind at all.

I guess the excitement of having a cat again, and let's be honest here, the hormones, made me go quite ahead of myself. Ultimately, i would still do what would be best for everyone's sake, cat included. In the end, i am also realistic; i know that it might be best to just wait for next year to adopt a pet. I miss having one so much, it is a hard decision to take. I actually loved the idea of a very active and "ninja" cat around the house; it got me quite excited in the past weeks in a way i haven't been in a long time!

It will be another discussion to have with my boyfriend for sure!

Thanks again!


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 09, 2015 6:45 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat
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Joined: Tue Sep 23, 2014 6:38 pm
Posts: 1838
Maybe you could look into fostering one for a bit. That would allow you to really know how they effect your allergies. There is a Bengal rescue group right in my county. You might want to search on the internet to see if there is one near you.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 09, 2015 11:18 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat
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Joined: Fri Feb 17, 2012 2:52 pm
Posts: 518
Location: Sussex
Hello, I am in a similar boat. Assuming all is well, I am expecting a baby in a January...and I have just brought home a high-energy, large breed puppy. We also have two bengal cats.

My worry about the cats with the baby is zero. I have had my cats for 3 years though, and know them inside and out (and I think after being introduced to this puppy, the baby will be a breeze for them!)

The dog is more of a worry, as while the cats are unfazed by being ignored for days, the dog wont be! But there are some factors that make me feel we can deal with it:

1) My husband is really supportive. The dog is mine really, but he is pulling his weight to help me out with this puppy even now. He has already said he will take over dog duties as needed when the baby comes if I am struggling.
2) We are really determined that this should work but are fully expecting there to be challenges along the way
3) We are going to do our best to get the dog in a good place before the baby comes. This means lots of work on training.

I think that if both you and your boyfriend are very keen to get a cat, that you can set up a cat-friendly environment, that you accept there might be some challenges to overcome (for example one of my cats urinated on furniture due to stress when we first brought him home), that your boyfriend might need to take over cat care, and you approach things with a sense of humour, then you'll be ok. Attitude is paramount here in my opinion.

Good luck!


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 10, 2015 1:22 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Thu May 23, 2013 2:21 pm
Posts: 9217
Kittens are going to scratch and bite and cat scratch fever in pregnant women is extremely dangerous. The fact that there is a retired queen available, to me, would be a no brainer! If your boyfriend is keen on a kitten, then he'll have to take up a lot of responsibility. For me, the queen would be more settled having cared for litters of kittens.

I am surprised, Paiviaso, that your bengals can be ignored for days. Mine insists on attention practically 24/7 and I can't ignore him. He won't let me. He cries constantly for attention and belly rubs. If only he would give me a moment's peace. In fact, he's here with me now, crying as he wants his morning walk. LOL

Well, congratulations to both of you on your upcoming arrivals.


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 10, 2015 7:02 pm 
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Bengal Kitten

Joined: Mon Jun 08, 2015 7:50 am
Posts: 3
Paiviaso, your reply was very encouraging! Thank you for that. Congratulations as well! :] We have been aware that it would be quite the challenge but i do believe we are both up for it. I have owned pets and cats most of my life and dealt with the many issues that arised along the way. I do not feel -that- worried about it, but then again a bengal VS a domestic cat, that's an whole other story from everything i have read and been told..!

Now what is now worrying me a little more is the cat scratch fever you are mentioning Sherry. I had not really thought of that since before when i had my cats scratches did not bother me and not having pets for two years, now being pregnant... I did talk to my other half last night about it all and i think he is starting to accept that we might need to go for an older cat. Besides, that queen is simply gorgeous..!

This will be food for thought in the upcoming days/weeks..!

CMYKjill, that is actually a very good idea! I will look into it for sure!

Thank you again for your thoughts and advices. It is greatly appreciated and will definitely help us make the best decision possible.


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 11, 2015 4:27 am 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Thu May 23, 2013 2:21 pm
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Go visit the breeder. See the kittens, see the queen. It will definitely help in your decision because the one you make is going to be for the cat's lifetime. I just think with all that you have going on, an older, more settled cat would be the best blend for the family ... but you go with what your heart says. The kitten will be rambunctious beyond belief and a real mischief maker. Not that it's all bad, but you will have your hands full with a newborn. The breeder should have not problem if you want to visit in person and see the environment the kitties have with her and have some contact with the cats. Then let us know what you decide.


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 11, 2015 1:36 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat
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Joined: Fri Jul 18, 2008 10:59 am
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Location: Leicestershire, UK
Cat scratches and bites is not really worse and riskier in pregnancy than at any other point in time. You just have to be sensible about it. More of a concern is litter tray duties. Toxoplasmosis is spread in cat poop and can be very dangerous in pregnancy.... Advise is to not do litter trays or to wear gloves. That being said, often a cat owner will have been exposed previously and have antibodies already...

I am currently 8 months pregnant. I have 7 cats, all indoor only. 6 Tonkinese and 1 Bengal. I know my Bengal will be stressed by a baby, but no more stressed than he would be with any stranger moving in. So we are introducing plans to help him. My Tonks are fine! The will be no issues at all with them. I also plan to have a litter of kittens in september/October when baby is a few months old. I have zero concerns regarding kittens scratching baby or anything like that as I will supervise carefully.

Your allergies are a concern as often they are increased in offspring so it could be that your baby would be worse than you. I would probably keep in contact with. Breeder and visit with your baby, see how things go from there really. I think it would be less unsettling for a kitten to move to a new home with a baby than to settle in and then have his world turned upside down again.

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 11, 2015 3:28 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Thu May 23, 2013 2:21 pm
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Congratulations, Lollo. Your kitties are already settled in! Thankfully! And you have a new litter arriving? Can't wait to see all the pictures you post!!! You definitely will have your hands full.


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 11, 2015 3:43 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat
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Location: Leicestershire, UK
Thanks Sherry... its all a bit close now!! Hahah there's no backing out now!

Kittens are planned but girls are not pregnant yet. They are only pregnancy for 9 weeks so i plan to mate one of them soon after baby is born which would give me 9 weeks to settle with baby.... i might be a bit crazy! we will see! lol

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 11, 2015 4:34 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat
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