I am in a bit of a predicament about adding a new kitty to the house. Here is a little background info:
I have a 9 year old male bengal who is neutered (since age 1), I adopted him when he was around 4 moths old. He was poorly socalized and borderline feral when I rescued him, he is a great man cat now and interacts well with others, he is very strongly bonded to me. When he was about 2-3 years old, we adopted a male bengal kitten, who we also got neutered. At first he wanted to kill the kitten so we took a very long time introducing the two. By the time our kitten had grown to 5 months, him and our resident bengal were best friends, like brothers. After about a year and a half, the adopted bengal kitten (turned adult) was diagnosed with HCM and he died only a few weeks later. My husband and I as well as my older bengal boy were absolutely devastated. It was amazing how much my bengal showed his grief. A short time after that a sweet little stray fuzzy girl showed up on our door step. She is a domestic long hair, was 5-6 weeks of age at the time, and we took her in. Our introduction was slow, she had her safe room for almost a month before we let them see each other. They eventually began to interact but there was much anger from our male bengal, he was at this time about 3-4 years old. It has been 5-6 years now since they were introduced and they still fight at times, sometimes its very aggressive. when my older male bengal and the younger male bengal would play, I don't remember it being anymore than what you would expect from two boys playing. They slept curled up together, they licked each other, they were buds. Now, when my older male bengal and the young lady who arrived years ago are in each others range they either avoid one another or they fight. Never do they lay near each other, he wont go on the bed if she is there and same goes for her. Also, my bengal is about 12-14 pounds of muscle and my domestic is about 8-10 pounds of fuzz and fat. They basically tolerate each other. Another point to mention is my bengal boy is so very attached to me, he is very emotional and will become behavioral when upset. He does not spray or pee on anything but he is more passive aggressive, like choosing not to sleep in my room when upset or ignoring me entirely when he is upset. He also can be very affectionate when he is happy, making muffins, purring, sleeping by my head, etc.
Here are my thoughts:
- he (bengal) sees her (domestic) as an "outsider"?
-she (domestic) is afraid of how rough he (bengal) plays
-he (bengal) is bored and wants to play, but can't because she (domestic) sees it as an assault
-he plays differently by stalking, she feels hunted.

Here are my ideas/concerns:
-adding a male kitten, getting him neutered and slowly introducing him to both will give my bengal a playmate and save my domestic from some rough play?
-the two bengals will fight for alpha?
-the two bengals will attack and both stalk my domestic girl?
-there will be a territorial war? including urine
-the new bengal will take the role of mediator?
-an F2 male kitten will dominate the entire house?
-an F2 male kitten with be a great addition for both bengal and domestic as well as my husband and myself?
-my bengal will develop behaviors or become emotional (more so than his baseline)
-my bengal with be happy to have a pal again?

with all this being said, I want to make the most prepared decision possible. I would love to have an F2 but I don't want to be unfair to my bengal and domestic, this is their home more so than it is mine. I know that bengals are very territorial, I have seen my bengal lunge at a dog for trying to lick my face. He has sprayed visitors bags if they leave them out, even shoes left inside can be a problem. We have no problems now with that. I mostly want my bengal boy to have the most happy life possible and give my domestic girl a break. It makes sense to me to give them the gift of a friend but I can't help but address the hazards. Plus, I don't want to put additional stress on a new kitten, they are already going through so much leaving mom and siblings.

I appreciate any input. It has been about 6 years since I introduced a kitty in the house.

I wouldn't introduce any other cat into that dynamic. Troubles increase linearly with the number of cats owned, you already have trouble, in the fact they do not get on, adding another cat will not solve anything.

Also an F2 is an early generation hybrid and is a specialist pet and needs experienced handling to keep them on side.
Introducing a cat with many potential issues to a home that already has issues is asking for trouble.
Excessive noise, soiling, timidity, anxiety, anxiety fueled aggression, fear of strangers, bonding with one person alone to the exclusion of anyone else, territorial marking, intense and obsessive behaviour patterns, pica, unable to cope with any change, are all recognised early generation (F1-F5) traits. They tend to make great kittens but as they age and grow into adults the problems start.

A new feline friend here, will not be a "gift" to either of your cats IMO.

To me, the answer is real simple: don't even consider it.

Based on what you've said, I suspect that both of your cats right now wish they were only cats, very strongly. So I think adding a third cat, any third cat, would definitely be detrimental. And like Elaine said, even if you were dead-set on adding a third for some reason, it seems like another bengal would be a particularly poor choice, and if you did absolutely want to add another bengal, an early generation bengal would be an ever poorer choice. I think there would have to be a really high premium on selecting a third cat that was highly socialized (both to humans and other cats), or in other words, a cat that "would just get along". And an early generation bengal tends to be the opposite of that.

I would just let things be if it were me. Your bengal is clearly the domineering type, and doesn't want to "share you". I'm not really sure that he wants another playmate based on what you've said. He's getting up in age, and may just want to be the spoiled kitty with an exclusive and strong bond with his favorite human. And your other kitty just wants a life free of aggressive tormentors. So adding a second tormentor would definitely be a cruel blow to her.

_________________
The little monsters 3

This is all very helpful information. I appreciate the input. You two are likely right, adding another bengal to the family is probably not a good idea. I just wish I knew of a solution to make my kitties life more enjoyable. Any suggestions? My bengal seems bored, I have two large screened porches which he loves. I take him on walks, even bought a "snoozer" back carrier to take him around outside in when I don't feel the leash is safe (we live on 2 acres, there are two Bobcats in the woods). I try to play with him and give him whatever attention he desires. My little domestic girl is happy going except when he stalks her of course. Maybe more cat trees? We have one 80" one. Thank you for you input, I think I'll pass on the kitten for now. My cats are my kids, I just want them to be happy :)

I have to say I agree that adding another cat to the situation would be a bad idea. I myself have been wanting another kitten, I get it! Bengals are irresistible and you want more than one! Sometimes it's best to REALLY think about your situation and decide what is best for your family as a whole. I have recently had to rehome my boy due to stress, I understand what it's like to want another bengal to fill that void. I have researched breeder and was dead set on a particular litter. Over the last week I have sat back and watched my girl thrive in her new found freedom of being an only cat. I couldn't take that away from her because I want another bengal to fill that empty spot in my heart. I even considered getting an EG as well. I have researched bengals almost daily for the last 3 years. With all the research I know a lot about the breed but still feel like I wouldn't be ready for an eg cat. If you are 100% set on adding a bengal PLEASE consider adding an SBT at least or a rescue kitty. I honestly don't think we will persuade you not to add another cat but you have to consider that one day you may have to rehome one of the three. If not you will probably have to isolate your domestic ling hair. Two bengals (as you know) are full of energy and mischief. I am almost positive she will turn to "prey" in the eyes of your kitten and become extremely stressed. Please keep us updated with you decision and progress with your fur family, I wish you all the best and know you are not alone trying to fill that empty spot!

After reading you last post ( don't know how I missed that) I would say you are thinking with a level head. Does your girl like heights? Does she have a place to retreat from your bengal?

_________________

Since Elaine gave you a link to Jackson Galaxy, here are some holistic remedies that he has which may solve some of the problems between your two kitties. People who have tried these claim they make a tremendous difference. There are remedies for just about everything and it wouldn't hurt to give them a try and see if you two kitties can get along better.

http://www.spiritessences.com

I agree with all these others who say do not add another cat to the mix! Cats are all territorial and want their own space. Jackson Galaxy also recommends "certification" and that is one of the best books I've bought -- so many ideas to increase the area the cats share and it solves a lot of problems as well. If you want your two kitties to get along, then you're going to have to be willing to make the modifications which will HELP them. An F2 has a lot of wild in them and that can bring on a whole problem in itself. Many areas do not allow owning anything below an F4 unless you're a breeder. These cats are not socialized at all. Hopefully, you've gotten some great advice here and we'd love to know how things go with these other two kitties.

I'd not go there. Sounds like a recipe for disaster. Love the kittys you have, and don't take on any more until one/both of your cats have been "promoted" to kitty heaven. xx