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PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2013 9:57 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat
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I'm utterly appalled by the response by a member of this forum, as to why I am having to rehome Honey.

I have not asked to be judged, it's not like it's a damn easy decision to make, tbh I have been mulling this over since Nov 2012. I am actually upset that I have to rehome her but she has lashed out at both my kids, one incident was the last straw. She had scratched the face of my 19 month old son, 3mm's across, she would have taken his eye out. I had to take him to the GP's to get it looked at, as it was that deep. Of course, social was involved and I was given a warning, if I returned to a medical practice with an injury caused by Honey to any of my children, she would be removed immediately. I talked to the RSPCA & they said in a case like this, she would ultimately be PTS, due to her age.


Rori can not be left alone, she yowls CONSTANTLY, she even poo's herself by the window, waiting for me to come home, when she is on her own. Honey didn't want to be active with her, so I took it upon myself to find Rori a playmate. Not a bengal, as I couldn't fork out another £400. So I searched cat rescues, hoping to find a suitable kitten and came across tommy. Visited him and he was perfect. It took all of 3 days for rori and tommy to unite. Since then, Rori has been much better, rarely yowls, is playful, has stopped the pooing on the window ledge etc. So I knew I made the right move, esp when both of them play with the kids and are tolerant of them.

With Rori settling in with her new man, I figured it was time to let Honey go. I've actually been crying for days about this but I have to do what's best for her. From the start, she really wasn't tolerant of the kids, although my youngest hadn't taken notice of her at the time, so she sat with him. My 5yr old is autistic and has started becoming rough with her, which he wasn't at the start. She lashes out, he's had a fair few marks and nips from her. Again, neither child has bothered with rori or tommy.

I never really feel the need to explain my actions

This forum knows how much time and money I have spent on honey, from vet visits, cancer scare etc. She is a loving kitty, affectionate and loyal but over time, it's been seen that she just needs a home with older children or NO kids. I also will say no cats, which is in the best interest for honey.


My point is, people really need not to judge, when it's a complex situation.

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PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2013 10:15 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat
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I understand you 100%!!!!! I don't think anyone should judge you as they are not in your situation or your home for that matter! I think you know what is best for Honey and more importantly YOUR CHILDREN! Nothing,NOTHING comes before them and if BB were lashing out and attaching my children to the point I had to have them seen by a Dr. she would either be locked away from them which is not fair, or I would find her a suitable home!!!! Don't beat yourself up, you know in your heart what is right! yes maybe mistakes have been made along the way but you now can't change that ! Good luck and my best wishes are with you!

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PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2013 10:35 pm 
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Sorry, but I was thinking what everyone else was posting.

It is really irresponsible of you to continue to acquire cats - you can't manage the ones you have!

Poor Honey :(


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2013 10:41 pm 
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Sorry, did you not read my post? Not irresponsible at all but if you want to think illogically, then please do so.

I've not acquired cats, split in a relationship and then though 'nah need to rehome them' or 'i can't be arsed anymore'. I have a serious issue, rehome honey or allow her to stay in a home that she is not 100% happy in, eventually cause harm to my child, have social services have her removed (which they contacted the RSPCA about) and have her PTS................

I can handle cats, I have grown up with cats all my life, I have had foster cats, I was actually a foster carer for a local rescue. None of those cats ever touched my kids, my 2 have not either. Before removing honey, I needed to ensure that rori was dealt with and would be ok.........how is that irresponsible? I've paid out £100's in vet bills for both my girls, in 5 months. I've trained them, gained their trust and given them both a good home. Rori took to it like a duck to water, so did honey but gradually, honey has changed.

It is an irresponsible person who doesn't do what I have and who does not put their kids first...........

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PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2013 11:27 pm 
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This was discussed recently in another thread. But I think it's just real difficult to swallow when a member posts a "I have a new kitten" thread at the same time as they post a "I'm rehoming my adult cat" thread. Regardless of circumstances that is difficult to swallow.

I wish you luck in re-homing Honey though. I think that it is a shame that others had to sabatoge THAT thread though, because if they really do care about that cat, they should be supportive of finding her a good new home.

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PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2013 11:35 pm 
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I only posted both at the same time, as i've been without a laptop for a while. I've had tommy for nearly 4 weeks now. I agree, it's not fair on honey, what posters have done, may well put people off wanting to offer her a home.

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PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2013 11:36 pm 
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thank you for your wishes x

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PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2013 11:50 pm 
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I think the circumstances surrounding her rehoming may actually be more helpful to a new owner than Greeneyes herself posting that Honey doesn't like her children, is intolerant of and has damaged children and is not good with other cats and is now is being re-homed in favour of a new kitten.

The fact that she has had not enough time to settle with Greeneyes and her space was very quickly invaded by another female and now a kitten in her home is, I would presume more helpful than detrimental to any new owner, who may have been worried re temperament issues otherwise.
Honey is not the problem here, circumstances have conspired against her.

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 13, 2013 12:27 am 
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junglerose wrote:
I think the circumstances surrounding her rehoming may actually be more helpful to a new owner than Greeneyes herself posting that Honey doesn't like her children, is intolerant of and has damaged children and is not good with other cats and is now is being re-homed in favour of a new kitten.


You have a point, but on the other hand if I were a perspective new owner, I probably would be much more likely to inquire about a cat that was not in the center of such controversy and mud-slinging. Putting the 2nd post in a thread inquiring about availability and particulars rather than page 2 or page 3 of a mud-slinging thread.

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 13, 2013 1:52 am 
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junglerose wrote:
I think the circumstances surrounding her rehoming may actually be more helpful to a new owner than Greeneyes herself posting that Honey doesn't like her children, is intolerant of and has damaged children and is not good with other cats and is now is being re-homed in favour of a new kitten.


I can't see anywhere it says that she is being rehomed in favour of a new kitten. That is uncalled for and spiteful in my view.


junglerose wrote:
The fact that she has had not enough time to settle with Greeneyes and her space was very quickly invaded by another female and now a kitten in her home is, I would presume more helpful than detrimental to any new owner, who may have been worried re temperament issues otherwise.
Honey is not the problem here, circumstances have conspired against her.


Fully agree with you here but you cannot change the circumstances and Greeneyes is doing the best she can for Honey now.

I wish that I had been told that Benji launches himself at faces before I took him, but only so I could have watched out for it , not that I wouldn't have taken him because of it. He was tormented by children and kept as an inside cat so this was his only way of retaliating. Some cats do not want to live with children of any age or other cats/dogs and if I didn't have Benji I would have Honey in a heartbeat. I hope there is someone like me out there for her.

Greeneyes, you DO have to accept the blame for this situation as you have caused it (unknowingly) by not realising that older cats may not get on with children, especially if they do not know how to treat them (and that is down to you too) but I wish you all the best in finding the right person for Honey.


Heather

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 13, 2013 2:02 am 
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Greeneyes wrote:
She had scratched the face of my 19 month old son, 3mm's across, she would have taken his eye out. I had to take him to the GP's to get it looked at, as it was that deep. Of course, social was involved and I was given a warning, if I returned to a medical practice with an injury caused by Honey to any of my children, she would be removed immediately. I talked to the RSPCA & they said in a case like this, she would ultimately be PTS, due to her age.


3mm is pretty small for a scratch, unsure as to why it needed a GP... i assume you mean bigger than this. I am a little shocked that the GP informed the social and you received a visit from social workers. My best friend is a social worker and she happened to be with me when i read this. She would not be able to order the removal of a cat for scratching a child on a 2nd incident. Their would need to be more incidents for her to be able to look at being able to do this. Maybe things are different where you live but, for the purpose of legally, domestic cats are not generally thought of as possible of causing life limiting wounds and so do not form part of dangerous animals. Kids also run into tables all the time, or fall off bikes etc.... are social workers going to start taking those off you if you take you kids to the GP for wounds twice!

Greeneyes wrote:
Again, neither child has bothered with rori or tommy.


I just wonder if this will change once Honey leaves? Sometimes it's fun for kids to taunt the cat that is grumpy or reacts. Their attentions will be focused on the remaining cats.

This is not intended as a criticism, more of advice, but how to you deal with the 'pulling' by your 19month old and the rough play of you autistic child? I grew up with cats and we had autistic cousins. We were taught to respect the animals and never pull hair, tails etc. My Niece is surrounded by cats when she visits me and has 2 at home. She is now two so not that much older. She has been taught not to pull or be rough. If she is, she is removed from being in a position by the cats or, if that is not possible. The cat is taken away. She has had the odd scratch hear and there and has learnt to be very gentle. We always say to be gentle and from the age of crawling used her hand to stroke the cats saying be gentle etc... It has worked wonders really. My Autistic cousins had their behavior channeled towards not acting rough with their cats or ours. One of my cousins loved drawing buildings so we would ask him to draw buildings for the cats so that they would be happy etc... making importance on things to make them comfortable etc...

Not foolproof by no means but very possible with the right guidance.



I have no doubt that Honey's world changed far too quickly for her to be comfortable with. The kindest thing for Honey was to rehome Rory when things turned Sour between them, or when things became clear that they would not get better again. It is now easier to rehome Honey as she is the one with the poorer behavior and it would probably make Honey happier too. I only hope that the behavior of your other two do not change in a short while because it could happen.

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 13, 2013 8:36 am 
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I tried with rori but no one would take her back, even her breeder wouldn't/

I am involved with social, due to my son being considered disabled. Anything that is considered a risk, is therefore reported to them. I work in social services myself, so I know how this works. The cut was approx 5cms in length and the width of her claw, 3mm across would have caught his eye.

I was told by the breeder that honey was use to kids etc. There was no issue at first, adding rori is was not an issue, nor adding tommy in. It just so happens that honey is a cat who prefers to be the only cat.

I'm not stupid, I know this could have be resolved, if I returned honey but the fact honey, her previous owner wouldn't take her back. I didn't know of any issues with her being the only cat, I was aware that rori was the only other kitty she got on with. Again, they were fine, once the dust settled.

You can not say 'well so and so was autistic and got on fine' but I understand what you mean. He is fine with the other 2, they sit next to him for hours, him stroking them and then him signing 'good boy/girl'. They are much friendlier and calmer, which you can see, he always asks for them and they both sleep on his bed at night. Since getting tommy and with rori becoming much better, my non verbal child has started to try and use vocabulary. I have waited many years to hear him speak!


I should not have to explain myself. The simple fact is, she is being rehomed for her well being and the safety of my kids. It will be hard for someone without children to understand this but if you have kids and can't understand, then you really aren't logical of thought.

Thank you for making a very hard situation that much harder by a witch hunt.

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 13, 2013 8:45 am 
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just to add, she is not being rehomed due to a 'new kitten', this is something that has been in thought for a while.

I felt that I needed to ensure rori would be ok, before letting her mum go.

Simple fact is, some cats just don't work out, even after a long time in a home. Pretty sure some long term members on this forum have had to rehome a cat due to settlement issues and yet they were praised and not hounded like a slave in the 1500's US.

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 13, 2013 10:49 am 
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I am really sorry that you have had to make this decision, it would have been a really hard one for you. I do see why you are though and you have not made this decision lightly and as I see it (and just my personal opinion) unless it is happening to you personally it can be hard to understand, I believe you are making the right decision for both your family and Honey. I hope that you find her a new home soon.

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 13, 2013 11:11 am 
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maybutterfly wrote:
I am really sorry that you have had to make this decision, it would have been a really hard one for you. I do see why you are though and you have not made this decision lightly and as I see it (and just my personal opinion) unless it is happening to you personally it can be hard to understand, I believe you are making the right decision for both your family and Honey. I hope that you find her a new home soon.



Thank you x

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