Terri -
I have two bengal girls who are shy - and a brother/sister pair of siblings that are the EXACT opposite.
I have had my "shy" girls for one year. One of the girls wouldn't let me touch her at ALL when I first got her -- but slowly, being "tempted" with boiled chicken and VERY consistently with interactive feather toys... she has finally bonded with me. She STILL doesn't like to be picked up -- but LOVES to be "petted" now. She sleeps with me EVERY night, and "grooms" my fingers -- by licking them and nibbling my fingernail edges. It is just the CUTEST thing!
The other girl sleeps at the foot of my bed, and HAS to be in whatever room I'm in - but will only occasionally "give in" and allow me to stroke her, gently.
BOTH of them come running when I open the fridge - because they have learned that in the evenings, I give them boiled chicken, or rare beef treats - and they MUST come and at least STAND in my lap, to get a bite
Actually the one the breeder was MOST concerned might not bond, will practically take food from my MOUTH, if I'm not careful... she has actually tried to bite the opposite side of a turkey sandwich I was eating, once
I hate to disagree with whoever said brush just her HEAD... My girls will allow me to brush THEM from the shoulders down - but RUN if I try to brush their heads... it depends on the cat, I suppose. I bought a "baby brush" which is VERY soft, and Victoria will let me brush her whole body, including her tummy -- but doesn't want it on her HEAD. LOL
My girls ARE very early generation SBT (I think they are the equivalent of F4 or F5) - and the breeder I got them from is normally just GREAT about socializing her kittens, but these two were EXTREMELY SHY - even with her. She had kept them an extra long time, TRYING to socialize them, but was having poor luck with them - and was actively seeking a PET owner, who would take time with them, and BE PATIENT. She DID WARN me how shy these girls were. She gave me a wonderful deal on them, because she wanted to find someone who would NOT give up on them, and allow them the space to be WHO they are.
I ADORE them both - and sometimes even go to bed "early" just so they will come join me for THEIR evening "lovies".
Then the other two are "SUPER FRIENDLY" -- curious -- and NEVER meet a stranger.
In some ways that is worrisome - because Dagger even climbed up on my cable installer's knees, while he was installing my cable, recently. LOL It makes me afraid he would just "go with" ANY stranger - and I would DIE if someone stole him. (and YES my cats are ALL totally indoors - but my son has guests, and Dagger NEVER meets a "stranger") Emma is a little more cautious with strangers -- but a snuggle bug, too.
I believe SOME of the shyness IS genetic - and other times poor socialization. BUT --
IF you don't give up on her, I, as a pet owner (not breeder) with 4 Bengals and 5 DSH rescues, can ASSURE you -- the liklihood that she will eventually BOND with YOU, if you are patient -- is VERY HIGH.
I know you MUST adore her. (I peeked at her photo) She is lovely!
And, if you ever need any encouragement, I will "try" to respond quickly. (Honestly, I spend SO much time with my CATS - that I'm not on here as much as I used to be.) (grin)
Do NOT get discouraged. And don't hesitate to look at other Bengal kittens. They are NOT all shy... and if you work with a breeder, and let them KNOW how important that you have a "in your face" kitty, next time... I'm sure you will find a breeder that will help you select a kitten with strong "need mommy love" traits
Best wishes and
Warm Fuzzies --
LaVon
'fancidots"