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 Post subject: Petting my girl's back
PostPosted: Mon Dec 21, 2015 2:27 am 
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Senior Bengal

Joined: Thu Sep 26, 2013 5:41 am
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I'm starting to worry about my 5 lb 3 yr old girl. She tends to shrink away from my hand when I pet her back, but now she sort of jumps in her skin and it startles her when I try to pet her sometimes. I'm starting to worry that there's something wrong.

About half the time she'll let me pet her and she'll purr and there's no issues, and the other half the only reason she doesn't turn her head and bite me because she knows better. She just scratched my dad when he tried to pet her back which made me worry. I think part of it is because when we're playing with toys I "attack" her back to get a response from her, and it does. Every time. It provokes her into attacking and playing with the toy but now I want to "undo" that.

I've worked very closely with her with behavioral training even from when she was little. It has been working, she doesn't bite any more to "solve problems", but I was hoping for ideas about how to pacify her urge to defend herself when someone pets her back.

TLDR: how do I get my girl to relax when people try to pet her back? She can be very jumpy and even gets aggressive sometimes frightening people.


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 21, 2015 4:01 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat
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Some cats get over stimulated by a full body stroke when petting. You'll see their skin sort of twitch and they'll usually swish their tail and move away. Or they'll try to grab your hand if it really annoys them.

The best thing to do if you see the cat is getting over stimulated is to stick with head, neck & chin scratches/pets.

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 21, 2015 5:56 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat

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Based on a previous post I read about your giving your cat time out, no playing, and spanking her -- I'm guessing she's not a very happy kitty around you! Cats need to be treated well. She tends to shrink away from your hand because she is TERRIFIED you are going to hit her again. You have a twisted relationship with your cat and it appears the bond has been lost. If you truly want to mend things, start treating your kitty like a loved member of your family. It takes a long while for a cat to learn to trust again. The other thing is to stop attacking her when you are playing with her. She is acting out because she does not like it and you are trying to make her aggressive! Please re-think your relationship with this kitty. She is not happy, you don't seem happy, and your dad does not want to get scratched! You may want to find a more loving home for her.


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 17, 2016 3:21 am 
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Senior Bengal

Joined: Thu Sep 26, 2013 5:41 am
Posts: 86
Sherry wrote:
Based on a previous post I read about your giving your cat time out, no playing, and spanking her -- I'm guessing she's not a very happy kitty around you! Cats need to be treated well. She tends to shrink away from your hand because she is TERRIFIED you are going to hit her again. You have a twisted relationship with your cat and it appears the bond has been lost. If you truly want to mend things, start treating your kitty like a loved member of your family. It takes a long while for a cat to learn to trust again. The other thing is to stop attacking her when you are playing with her. She is acting out because she does not like it and you are trying to make her aggressive! Please re-think your relationship with this kitty. She is not happy, you don't seem happy, and your dad does not want to get scratched! You may want to find a more loving home for her.



And I reevaluated in part based on your comment here, Sherry. Thank you. She's a perfect little angel now. As I commented on another thread, the tactic to pacify the biting was severe but effective. I didn't realize what an effect it was having on her until I made this post and starts to sort things out through the comments. I would never recommend spanking as a first choice for correcting any behavior but after 2 years of her biting me severely and having exhausted a lot of other options I felt I had no choice.

It was effective and now after a couple months of TLC she's the best behaved cat our new vet may have ever seen, and more properly trained than most dogs they say. I had lily do some tricks (she's clicker trained) and even had her lay down on command before they took her rectal temperature. To talk to the office they knew how wild bengals can be so I knew I was doing something right, and I remembered this post when I saw the vet scratching Lily's butt (9/10 cats love that right?). Lily didn't so much as turn her head to even look at the hand that was petting her let alone try to bite the unsuspecting vet.

Thanks again sherry for all your comments and feedback, it's been much appreciated.


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 17, 2016 5:32 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat

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I'm happy to know things have worked out!


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