Hello,

Last July we had to send off our beloved Birman cat to his ultimate journey en since then the other cat, a simple european 6yo shorthair rescue cat seems lost.
The first circle around me has always been the Birman's space. The outer circle was Nemo's.
The Birman had a difficult character and a manual of many pages. Nemo on the contrary has always been kind, sweet and loves to cuddle. Since he is an only feline child he is in my face the entire day. He wants to be in my lap, talks, and seems to be having a hole in his life. He scraped his belly so it is pink and bald. Prednison did not help. We wil buy Feliway one of these days. I realise the bald tummy can be caused by allergy, boredom, stress, hormones.
He did have a pred shot for the itchy (?) tummy but that did not help and we will not go there again.

Now I fell in love with the Bengal breed. Looks, size, but the character puzzles me.

Our family consists of a husband and wife and grown up son, Nemo the cat a pet bunny and a Toller dog. So we know about energy.
While we are home, the son will be gone for the working day.

A bengal kitten or cat (any cat) in our household has to live in the livingroom/kitchen solely because we do not allow animals upstairs in the sleeping quarters. The livingroom is not small but we don't live in a palace.

Nemo is not allowed to go outside, there is more traffic than we care for. The stairs in the livingroom has always been a scratch post for the cat(s) and we don't care to replace the carpet parts on there from time to time..

Here's to where I would love to hear your opinions.
Do you think a Bengal kitten/cat could be happy in my house, can we offer enough for him/her to be happy?
Do you think having (any) new kitten can help fill the gap in Nemo's life or will it just bring more frustration and stress?
Do you think there IS a gap in Nemo's life at all, or is he in my face because he can and never could because the Birman was in the inner circle? (I have never whitnessed any pecking order issue between the 2 of them)

Most of all interesting for us humans: In behaviour, what is/are the most important differences between a stray cat and a Bengal?

I have been reading this and that and will be, but most thing I find are written in general and of course not specific for our situation.

I hope for you to share your thoughts.

Thanks for reading anyway.

Now I'll just read on as I'm still learning.

In all honesty I think your situation can be very tricky. Your current kitty sounds very laid back and docile, that personality is usually quite the opposite of bengals. My two go from one extreme to the next they go from being calm and relaxed to jumping around and hanging from the ceilings. It can be a challenge to integrate those two personalities into one home. Bengals can be very laid back but can also be very dominant and very active. The most important thing, if you do decide to get a Bengal, will be to find a great breeder. You will need to find the most calm and easygoing kitten that they have and the breeder will be the best to assist you with this. It sounds like your current cat is not a dominant personality so they could get along very well, but it could also be that the kitten will be to "wild" for your cat and could stress him. It will all depend on the personality of the kitten. I would also suggest getting a kitten and not an adult cat, introducing two adults is very stressful for everyone involved and it sounds like he is already stressed. Another thing that I can see taking A LOT of training would be keeping the bengal downstairs, Im not sure about all bengals but I know my two will do things and go places just because I told them not to. I have one window in my home that they are not allowed in and it is a battle everyday to keep her out. So really a bengal could possibly work but it will take tons of research looking into breeders, visiting catteries, learning how to introduce two cats properly. I would also suggest going on YouTube and watching bengal videos, if you find yourself laughing at their crazy and sometimes destructive behavior you might be ok with getting a bengal.

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I appreciate your input. Thank you!

The relationship between my cats has always been complicated with the Birman as the older laid back one who avoided all confrontations and Nemo being a pest for the grey one. He did damage the Birman on occasions.
Having said that, a friend of mine had sibblings and they did the same to each other so I take it it's a hit or miss whether cats will be friends or merely endure each other.

I have been looking and still am, at numerous Bengal video's on youtube and I haven't see anything that I haven't seen before, here, except for the kitty that takes apart the thing in the sink (what do you call).

Our intentions are to have a kitten indeed, Bengal or not.

Next question (forgive me if this has been discussed before) do bengals more than other breeds or other cats, P and P everywhere but in the littertray? That would be a dealbreaker.

I am hesitant to inviting myself into a breeder's home.

As for Nemo, introducing the dog was a Biggie.

Do you believe Nemo can be suffering a hole in his life with the Birman gone? Or is it just me seeing things?

Last but not least I'd like to mention that I want a cat for myself, not per se to please Nemo but it would be a great extra if he could enjoy the company. I just don't want to put Nemo's health (mental or physical) in danger because I need a new cat.

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The little monsters 3

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The little monsters 3

Thank you Brian.

You may be very right here:

I had a similar situation in that I had two cats that were roommates but not necessarily buddies. The one that was the bigger cuddler passed on first, and the other one because MUCH more of a cuddler as a result. I believe it was mainly that the other was asserting "alpha privaledge" which was then passed on to the other cat. Maybe some of it was grief and loneliness, but I think most of it was that.

Sorry if this has already been said, but how old is Nemo please?

...and also it helps to know at least what country you are in as advice can differ between them!


Heather

Nemo is 6yo and we are in The Netherlands.
(The dog is 5yo)

Hey, i live in a rental at the moment, and our kitten bengal has not been allowed out side once yet. not until i can or choose to build a cat enclosure. she does have free rangle of the house while were not here and a massive cat tree.

Once were home we let the dog in and they seem to play. I def would not add another cat/dog into what we already have as i feel we dont have the room

I would worry that whilst they may get along when the bengal is a kitten, once it grows (around 1.5 - 2 years old) and asserts itself that's when you may see issues. Bengals can be like that, they bully and they assert themselves for dominance. My bengal does this over my non bengal from time to time. Not enough to cause big issues (as my non bengal gets to go out), but if you had another cat that could not have a break from this behaviour problems may occur.

My bengal wants to play, constantly, with my non bengal. She does not want to play much at all, and this causes friction from time to time.

Anyway, just my input based on experience. Good luck whichever way you decide.

Some time has passed an I have read a lot on the internet, and best of all had a good talk with our veterinarian who knows our family and pets.
Their advice was against a Bengal.
Fenstar, basically what you said is what she said. Plus Nemo is not 6yo as I stated but almost 8 and before a new kitten will enter his kingdom, he will be 8yo. Given a Bengal to get in full prime aged 2, Nemo will be 10.

So. Decided was I will wait for a stray kitten, female, and summer is near and kittens will be plentyful.
Having the son working in a shelter, and the vet's practice knowing my heart's desire (apart from a Bengal ;-) ) all will be well. I can wait.
The vet said a female might be the best choice to avoid pecking order fights later on. And I think this is exactly what we saw in Nemo and the Birman, the old Birmy never starting a fight and avoiding conflicts and younger Nemo always bullying.

Thank you for listening to me. I suppose I will hang around for a while to read about bengals and look at their pretty appearances.