Hello

We have two 15 week old bengal kittens (brother and sister). The girl has been happy since day two and will now automatically jump on our laps for a cuddle and follow us around the house.

The boy is much shyer and seems very wary of us. He can handle being in the room with us and playing - but won't come anywhere near us and runs away if we get too close.

Should we be worried - and is there anything we can do to help him trust us a bit more?

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I second what Ginny said....

I too had a similar situation when I got my 2.... Trust me, patience is the key...

4 months later, My boy Rebel, who settled immediately is a crazy boy when he's in the house, but his sister Marble who was so shy (and liked to wee on my bed) when she first arrived is really sweet & laid back...(Apart from her obsession with stealing pens and ripping loo roll..!!)

Once they are outside they have a total change of personality though, Marble is a real explorer... Rebel on the hand doesn't like being out so much and is scared of almost everything...

I guess what I'm trying to say is that your 2 will never have the same personality, but they will settle in, and as they get older you will find their true personalities coming out....

Brilliant - thank you so much for the advice. we thought time would be a factor but we just weren't sure.

Do you have any tips on letting them out? And how to train them to use a cat flap?

Also - we have had to pick up the boy a couple of times to try and get him out of the room. He has become really agressive and hurt me a couple of times. I appreciate that he is really scared and defending himself, but my worry is that if we need to take him to the vet we are going to have a hard time catching him.

Do you think he will be become more willing to be held given time - or again is there anything we should do/not do to help him?

Many thanks

Hi, I would not pick him up at all until he is really sure of you... He is not being aggressive towards you, it is just a defensive mechanism because he is scared... Take baby steps with him... Let him come to you... Maybe try sitting in the room with him, maybe with a book (reading it outloud so he gets used to your voice) or playing with his sister...

Go in to feed an clean them out at the same times every day... this will help establish a routine...

As for letting them out, don't do that until they have both been neutered(boy) & spayed(girl).... Most vets will do this around 5-6 months depending on their physical maturity...

My two have only been going out for a few weeks (they are now 7 months) so I only let them out when I am at home at the moment...

Hope some of thi is helpful to you

Some of them just don't like to be picked up - my Dolly doesn't. I just have to make sure I'm quick when I take her to the vet - I make sure I'm close to the basket, try and lure her near to me (with treats if necessary) and then put her in very quickly. In time, I'm sure he'll get more used to you touching him but he may not be one who likes being picked up and carried around.

My cats all go out but it's something you need to think about seriously, taking into account the outside environment, risks from cars, theft etc etc. I live in a very rural environment so the outdoor space is ideal for cats but I've still lost 2 to the road which is heartbreaking. You could consider teaching them to go outdoors with you on a harness as an alternative to free roaming. If you do decide to let them out, definitely wait until they've been neutered so that there are no little "surprises". Start by letting them outside with you for a short time, into the garden if you have one, and bringing them back indoors when you go in. Gradually lengthen the time until you're sure they know where home is. You'll find they learn to use a catflap quite easily, although I usually need to give them a bit of encouragement by holding the flap open for them to see/smell the outdoors. It only takes a few goes though and then they've got the hang of it. I've got one of the microchip catflaps that scans their microchip which stops unwanted intruders and means it doesn't matter if they lose their collars.

Good luck with whatever you do decide.

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