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PostPosted: Mon May 29, 2017 5:22 am 
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Bengal Kitten
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Joined: Thu Apr 27, 2017 5:24 am
Posts: 13
My little bundles of energy are going to turn 12 weeks old the first week of June and they are firmly bonded with each other but not so much with me.
I know that when they're adults and spayed they will calm down some, but I love their high energy antics. I just wish that when they are ready to crash out they'd spend time with me. I get down on the floor and play with them with their toys and they will even purr when I pet them, but cuddling up with me, sitting on my lap, or seeking affection from me isn't part of their routine.
So I'd like some ideas to get my girls to see me as more than the cook, maid, and toy lady. I've read some things posted here and elsewhere that say each Bengal's personality is unique and some want affection and some don't. What's your experience? Are your Bengals aloof or snuggle bugs? If they are affectionate now were they always loving cats or did they start seeking more attention with age?

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My baby girls
Ginger born March 1, 2017
Fred born March 3, 2017
Brown rosetted females born days apart at the same cattery. They will always be sisters in spirit and always my babies.


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PostPosted: Mon May 29, 2017 2:15 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Fri Mar 17, 2017 6:24 pm
Posts: 147
Since they're turning 12 weeks soon, my guess you just had them. It may take time for them to bond with you. However:
1) since you got both together, they're very likely to bond with each other more than with you... ever.
2) some Bengals are not affectionate, luckily mine is kissable, huggable, cuddly and so passionate. She's so attached to me like I'm to her.
3) do not free feed them. Teach them food is served on certain times. This helps disciplining them and teaching them that you have a role to play.
4) play with them and pet them every time they do something right out of encouragement to boost their confidence and your role in their lives.
5) start by being affectionate with them. You may be turned down at first, and you may succeed eventually.
6) treat them like your babies, that's what I do. Not sure if that helped in my case or not.
7) give them a treat after a kiss or a hug. Snickers kisses me every time I approach her lying down, although I never gave her a treat for that. I used to say "kissy kissy", give her a kiss then pet her saying "good girl".

Sorry if I couldn't be more helpful...


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PostPosted: Mon May 29, 2017 4:15 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Thu May 23, 2013 2:21 pm
Posts: 8150
Oh the disadvantage of getting two kittens is that they will bond more with each other than you. You, after all, are not a cat! Many bengals are not affectionate cats, period. Mine is not! He comes to me looking for treats and that is it! If my husband puts a sheet or blanket over his lap, Raiden will hop up there only to get the head rubs and massages that my husband hands out. There is no return of affection. Now our outdoor cat is extremely affectionate and gives lots of head butts and kitty kisses. Some bengals are very affectionate, the majority are not. it's something you have to live with when it comes to owning a bengal or two.


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PostPosted: Mon May 29, 2017 4:46 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat
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Joined: Thu Dec 02, 2010 1:00 am
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Location: Portland Oregon, USA
I had the same experience as you. When I got my two sisters as kittens, they had so much fun playing with each other, and were a great comfort to each other in making the transition to their new home, that I was kind of taken for granted, and neither of them were all that affectionate. But that did change over time. One "breakthrough" for me was when I learned how much Serafina liked to play with fishing-rod types of toys, and how receptive to petting she was afterwards. That made a huge difference in terms of bonding. Now 6 years later, Serafina is actually a pretty cuddly cat. She comes to me several times a day wanting to cuddle. Gaga has her moments now too. In fact right now I'm laying of my side on my bed, with Gaga pressed up against me silently. She came for some petting and love.

So I guess my suggestions are:

1. Just keep bonding with them in general. Understand the things that make them really happy and focus on those things. Now is the time to be selfless, they are just babies. You have many years to go with them, and they grow up and change.
2. Be patient and don't push it. Try to avoid the negative interactions. Think of your interactions with them as filling up a bucket with water. Every positive interaction adds a little water to the bucket, every negative one (from their perspective) drains some out. If they don't want to be picked up, don't pick them up. If they don't want to be petted, don't pet them. etc.
3. Use your "secret weapons". Yea, they love playing with each other, put you can offer them things that they can't get from each other. One really big one is that you can mimic prey better than they can. For example, for my Serafina that meant breaking out the wand toys and mimicing birds and mice. I can give her the full hunting experience: Stalk, pounce, chase, and kill, and even give her a treat afterwards. For Gaga that meant throwing straws and little soft bouncing balls for her to streak after, catch, and retrieve. She wants to do that endlessly, even 6 years later.
4. I've heard that clicker training can also be a really unique, fun, and effective way to bond too.
5. When they become a little more inclined towards affection, "cheat" a little. I'll drape a wool afghan over my lap when sitting down often, and have a cat in it minutes later. Plush cat beds on the sofa or on the bed next to me also fill up quickly. And heating pads when the weather get cold always contain sleepy, purry cats pretty much instantaneously.

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