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Bengal Cat Forums • View topic - Help! She won't stop meowing!!
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2017 11:06 am 
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Bengal Kitten

Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2017 10:34 am
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We got Bella when she was 4 years old from a woman who decided to get rid of her because she didn't get on her new rag doll kitten. It disgusted me that she saw her cat as disposable and we offered to take her to save her from a shelter.
She's now nearly 8 years old but after only a few weeks of owning her we realised the true reason the woman no longer wanted her, she is soooo noisy. I had researched bengals before taking her and knew they were vocal but I think Bella is an extreme case. When she's awake she meows pretty much constantly.

We now have an 18 month old toddler and the cat is causing me a lot of stress and I don't know what to do.
If she's in the house I have to watch her and the toddler constantly because he chases her and pulls her tail and she can't be trusted as she can be quite viscious and has attacked adults before. To give her credit though she has been amazing with the baby but she just won't stay out of his way! I have created safe spaces for her that the baby can't get to but she wants to be near him and is always waving her tail in his face. So, to be safe I have to put her outside - she has always been an outdoor cat since we've had her, but she just sits at the door and meows ridiculously loudly. It is driving me mad!!! She has a catflap into the garage where she has a cosy bed complete with heated blanket for colder days/nights. She usually chooses to go out at night, if she wants in we let her as she generally sleeps most of the night and wakes us up about 4am to let her out.
Once the baby is in bed (7pm) I give the cat my full attention, she likes to drink from the tap in the bath and snuggle on my knee. Some nights though she will just sit outside the baby's bedroom door and meow, if I remove her she just goes back. If I throw her outside she just meows st the door. She has woken the baby up a lot.
My husband works away from home all week so it's just me and the baby in the house until the weekend.
It's hard to express how stressful she makes my life. I get so angry with her and I hate myself for talking aggressively and chasing her out. I would never physically hurt her but i feel guilty for pushing her aside for the baby. My husband would get rid of her tomorrow but there is no chance. We took her on so she is our responsibility no matter how she behaves. I just need to find a way to make it work.
Can anyone help???


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2017 6:16 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Thu May 23, 2013 2:21 pm
Posts: 9217
Welcome to our forum. It's difficult to know where to start with your issues. First, you honestly have no idea of the type of life this kitty had before coming to your home. You don't know how the cat was treated, loved, cared for. You researched bengals and discovered they are very vocal. Well, that was me 3-1/2 years ago when I took in a 6-year old bengal. Vocal, I thought meant "we have conversations. I talk, the cat answers back." I didn't realize it meant YOWLING at the top of his lungs. He had been an outdoor cat for 6 years and was in constant cat fights, getting injured and beaten up. When I took him, I decided he could not roam free, so imagine 24/7 of the yowling to go outside. We built him a large enclosure on our deck and he gets two walks a day and when he wants those walks, he yowls at the top of his lungs.

Okay ... so bengals are loud! You have a toddler who is fascinated with cats. You have a cat who has been aggressive with adults. Many times they understand the child is just a child and are much gentler with them, but not always.

The issue here is your stress which seems to be through the roof. There honestly is not much you can do. Hopefully, you have a tall cat tree for your bengal as they love to be high up in the air and it will allow the cat to get away from your child. Taking care of a toddler is hard enough, but now you have two of them. A bengal will always remain like a 2-year old forever. At least your son will grow up.

As long as your kitty is not meowing due to pain somewhere, then this is just typical bengal behavior. They are a challenging breed. They require a lot of human interaction and have energy that needs to get played out. You obviously have your hands full with the baby since your husband is gone during the week. Perhaps a bengal is not the right cat for your household. You'll have to decide whether you want to continue with this situation or create other distractions for the cat -- or rehome the kitty. The key is not to throw your kitty outside. Bengals want to be around people and bond closely with their humans. Perhaps things got started off on the wrong foot with this cat. You play with the kitty, but how much love and affection does this kitty get?

Many people who take or rescue a bengal do so because the cat is beautiful and wild looking and they hope they can provide a better life for the kitty. I can't tell you the number of bengals who have been rehomed when a human baby joins the family because there is no time for the bengal. A bengal is not like your normal domestic cat that goes into a corner somewhere and sleeps 20 hours a day. Bengals are totally different! I hope you find a way to make this work as bengals do make wonderful pets -- but on their terms and not yours. If you decide Bella needs more, then find a bengal rescue to take her. Sometimes your sanity takes precedence over everything else because you need your sanity to care for your toddler. Hopefully others will weigh in on this issue with other suggestions.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2017 6:47 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat
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Joined: Tue Sep 23, 2014 6:38 pm
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I bet the cat sees your baby as a playmate because of the small size and crawling on the floor. I have two cats and they taunt each other all the time to initiate play.

As far as the meowing and a baby, wow that must be taxing your patience. I had a siamese once that would meow a lot and he drove me crazy. I would go in the other room and he would follow me. If I was busy/stressed and he would meow constantly! It was really difficult because I lived in a condo at the time and the neighbors would complain. If I sat down and held him he would stop, but it is impossible to do that all the time. Now in hindsight, I can see why Apollo cried a lot. He was lonely and LOVED other cats. Plus my condo was small and I didn't have cat trees or scratchers for him. He was probably bored stiff! When I started commuting 3 hours a day, he went to live with my sister and her two other siamese cats and was soooo happy.

Currently I have twice the living space with a screened in patio and two kitties. They have lots of cat trees and scratchers and everything a cat could want. They rarely ever meow. I encourage them to vocalize but they only meow when I am feeding them or one of them softly chirps in my ear when I am asleep to let me know she wants me to pet her. If we lived in a small condo with no cat furniture or access to the outside would they meow? I am not sure but I suspect yes. Every cat is an individual and some cry no matter what you do. Maybe try getting a cat tree, cat springs, catnip, scratchers, etc. Those things keep my cats happy. Is it possible to create some sort of outdoor access area for your cat?


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 18, 2017 9:43 pm 
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Bengal Kitten

Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2017 10:34 am
Posts: 4
Thanks so much for your replies!

I don't think she was mistreated before she was rehomed but I suspect not given the attention she needs.

I don't think she's a particularly unhappy cat. We have a good size home of which she is free to roam, she has beds in various place, including up high on furniture and the usual scratching poles and toys. Since having our baby I'm now around the home most of the day and although I do put her outside when she is particularly annoying she does get her fair share of attention. Much more now than when I worked full time. Our outside space is very open and private and we have a large field with cows in out back. We have lived here for 18months and she has never been more content, but she still meows!!!

She showed signs of stress in our previous home, such as pulling out fur. She fought regularly with the neighbours cat and seem to fear him. She pee'd in the house on occasion and was quick with her claws. There is only one other cat in the area of our new home and they appear to be friends.

Rehoming her just isn't an option for me. She is my baby too and as much as she drives me crazy I love her to bits so I'd rather try to find a solution or at least a coping mechanism!
I think a catflap so she can come and go as she pleases would help but my worry is her coming in with out me noticing and being alone with the baby. I'll have to think of a way I could control this.

I'll also get her a cat tree as I haven't got on of those.

The stress she causes is hopefully short term as it is currently exacerbated by a toddler who does not listen to "no" so as he grows and learns to respect her, which I'm trying so hard to teach him, I will be able to include her more in family time.

Thanks again. It's helped just being able to vent my frustration!


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 18, 2017 10:44 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Thu May 23, 2013 2:21 pm
Posts: 9217
We are happy to listen .... as I think we all know the frustration you're feeling. It's hard to balance a toddler and a bengal. It can be done. The thing is, Bella is going to have to be around your toddler. Bengals are very curious and have to check out everything. The sooner your baby and Bella get along, the better. Many bengals have that sense about a child and will be more loving and caring and won't hurt the baby. Now, pulling the cat's fur or tail will end up with the cat being completely unhappy. But, most toddlers can be taught "be nice to kitty" and be shown how to pet the kitty nicely -- and then how to leave a kitty alone when the kitty has had enough. I would think if Bella had a cat flap and could come and go as she pleased, she might prefer the outdoors more than being curious about your toddler. If you're stressing over things, the cat will sense this as well. Finding that balance is going to be the key for you. I think the more Bella gets used to her surroundings and your baby, the easier things will get. But, definitely get a cat tree for Bella. I think she will enjoy it and it will put her up and away from the hands of your baby.

Feel free to vent -- and let us know how things are going.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 19, 2017 12:17 am 
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Bengal Kitten

Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2017 10:34 am
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Thank you xx


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 19, 2017 12:25 am 
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Bengal Kitten

Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2017 10:34 am
Posts: 4
I should also mention that Bella and I have had the most lovely evening together. I think writing down what's happening has made me realise I don't give her as much time as I used to and so tonight we have played on the floor, had fresh chicken snacks, plenty drinks from her favourite tap and she is now cuddled up next to me in bed. :biggrin:


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 19, 2017 5:43 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Thu May 23, 2013 2:21 pm
Posts: 9217
You have discovered the key is to be observant. Writing things down can really help. Hopefully, spending more time with Bella will calm her down more and vocalizing won't be as grand. My bengal is currently being quiet as he had his morning walk. Give him 2 hours and he will be back howling again for another walk.


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