Hello! I am new to this site and I'm hoping you guys can help me understand my Bengal kitty! We have had Leo for a month now and he still will not let us anywhere near him. He will run hide in a corner and hiss or growl if we get anywhere near him. I make it a priority to sit and talk to him quietly and get him to come and play. I have spoke to his breeder and she has suggested that maybe he needs a play mate and is willing to send us another kitten to see if that helps. Any advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

Hi and welcome to the forum.

A month is a long time for a little kitten to be scared of you and is obviously not the start that anyone would want with a little kitten.

Have you tried using Feliway to reduce his anxiety ?

If you go and talk to him do you look in his direction ? Do you use the slow-blink with him when looking at him ?

The slow-blink - when you look at him slowly close your eyes and with them closed tilt your head away from him before slowly opening them again. It might feel a little strange as humans like to make eye contact, but that same eye contact is threatening behaviour to a cat. The slow blink means I trust you, I'm not targeting you. Add in a really obvious yawn for added effect.

Rather than looking at your kitten when you spend time with them, ignore them COMPLETELY. go and sit in a room with them with a tablet or something to read, don't make eye contact then position yourself facing away from them, then read out aloud in a soft voice or comment on the article, talking lightly so that the kitten gets used to your voice. Again, this is demonstrating to your kitten that you mean him no harm and you are no threat. Slowly start to play, still ignoring the kitten with a wand toy that just happens to be in the kittens line of sight but well away from you. Hopefully given time they will *need* to play with the toy and start to overcome their fear. Once you have play you have the basis of a bond with your kitten.

Good luck and keep us informed of how you get on.

Welcome to the forum and congratulations on your little one. It sounds as if he was not socialized properly from the breeder. How old was he when you got him? At least 12 weeks? A few breeders will house the mom and babies away separately from the home and humans. Others will integrate the kittens in with the family. It makes a huge difference. Every single kitten is different, but it can be traumatic and stressful for the new kitten who has been taken away from mom and siblings and placed in a totally different environment with different smells, different humans. The best thing you can do is to give this little one time and lots of patience. A month may be eternity to you, but the kitten doesn't have a sense of time. When he is eating, sit nearby and talk softly to him. Never approach him or grab to pick him up. He isn't ready for that yet. He needs to gain confidence and it will come at his pace. Keep calling him by his name. See if you an entice him to come closer with treats. Try to engage in play and see if that helps. Know that bengals are highly social and once he comes out of his shell, he will not leave you alone. So, the best thing you can do is make your presence known to him. Some owners have been known to read a book to a cat. A soft voice can do a lot and he will be more curious about who you are as well. Hang in there. This is not a quick fix, but over time, you will see much improvement, so keep us posted.

On a side note -- it's great that your breeder offered another kitten, but that is not always the solution and can make things worse. You could end up with two traumatized cats.

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Matt

We love that advice for one helps with others. And, as you can see, every kitten is different in the way they react once in a new home.