I honestly think having two males is seriously hard work! I probably wouldn't get two males again, although I love mine dearly and wouldn't be without either of them!
I went to a cat behaviourist but I think I've already passed on everything I was told to you previously. We still get issues too. But I can cope with it better now and I've never actually fully separated them for more than about 15 minutes. If things seem to be getting out of hand I do a 'time out' and put them in separate rooms until everyone cools off - neither get any attention from me. It's not a punishment - just to let them calm down and forget what the squabble was about. Once the tail lashing and pacing around stops I open the door and let them be together again and give them some treats. At that point quite often there is some sniffing and grooming each other. They'll have some more of their food and go and settle down.
There are definite times I know to watch for trouble. When I get home from work, both get overexcited and charge about and vie for attention and that can end in a squabble so I work on distracting Jagger from chasing Hendrix. If its daylight I go out in the garden with them and they chase each other around the garden and up and down trees which apparently doesn't upset anyone!
I really hope you can find someone to help you. I'm in the UK and used a lady called Debbie Connolly. I think she does Skype so may be worth googling her to see if she can help you wherever you live.
_________________ Clare Hendrix and Jagger, Brown Marble Boys (born 18 August 2013) Hampshire, UK
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