I have just recently gotten a one year old female Bengal from a breeder. She was spayed just hours before we brought her home. We have now had her for 2 weeks and I am not sure if she is adjusting well. She spends about 9 hours during the day alone but me and my boyfriend are with her evenings, nights and weekends. During her first week with us she only had access to the main living area, we have since allowed her into the bathroom and in the bedroom with us at nights. When we are home she loves to play with her toys. She eats and uses the litter box, and explores the apartment while we are around. However she seems to be very nervous when we try to pet her and will not come sit with us at all. She will sit near us and watch us, but as soon as we make a move towards her she takes off. I have been able to touch her a handful of times but as soon as she starts to back away I back off as I do not want to frighten her more by forcing her to let me pet her. She also yowls a lot during the night, however I feel as though she is just being vocal and wanting to play as she usually spends all night chasing her toys around. I am worried that since we leave her alone so often she may never become comfortable or affectionate towards us. I would really appreciate any tips or advice as this is my first Bengal I have owned!

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The little monsters 3

Congratulations on your baby. Two weeks is not a long time! If you think it's difficult for a kitten to adjust, just think of an adult cat. She has been taken from the only life she's known, the only home she's known, the only people she's known and thrust into a new environment. Bengals bond very closely with owners -- so I'm sure she is feeling some type of separation anxiety. After all -- she's only known the breeder.

The important thing is that she is eating, drinking, using the litter box and playing with some toys. Her interaction with you will come with time. Don't try to rush her. She has to be trusting of you and this can really take some time. Some cats adjust faster than others, but she will get there. We go through this time and time again -- someone just took in a 4-year old bengal -- and it was a breakthrough when the kitty finally rubbed up against her legs. It didn't happen immediately. Talk softly to her A LOT. Try to entice her to come to you with treats. Play with her (wand toys are great). Hopefully, she has a tall cat tree she can enjoy since bengals love to be high up in the air.

You are to be commended to taking in this beautiful lady. Bengals have quite the personalities and hers will shine through -- be patient and wait this out. You will be rewarded!

Quasar is 4 1/2 years old. As a kitten, he would run himself until he was exhausted, then he would get on my lap and sleep the sleep of the dead.

Now, he will straddle my leg and, if he doesn't get a butt slapping directly, he will leave. He curls up behind my legs when I have settled into bed for the night. He never has rubbed against my legs. His way of showing affection is engaging me in play but running up behind me, jumping up, and slapping my rear with both paws. Kind of like a game of tag.

Quasar is the only Bengal cat I have ever lived with so I can't speak to the breed's behaviours in general. I will say that I have learned to love his unusual personality. He is the best socialized cat I have ever had. He goes camping, shopping, and walks on his lead.

Don't expect you kit to conform to your ideas of normal cat behaviour. She sounds like a perfectly normal cat to me. Enjoy her for the unique personality that she is.

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~ Kyenta

Know, too, that a lot depends on how much interaction she received while a breeding queen. These females are used to raising and caring for kittens. They are usually separated for periods of time. She's also just gone through a spay! Hormones are different for her right now. I do think it's more difficult for an older cat. But, you just have to bear with her for a while until she comes around. {{{HUGS}}}

I have a 9 week old kitten,we have her mum too.
Her brother went to his new home on Sunday 8th March 3 days ago.
The mum was spayed, had stitches out and has started going out since Saturday.
The kitten has wet out of the litter tray only a couple of times up to now, but today, she has literally wet everywhere, non stop. On the bed was the first place this morning, in the washing basket, on the floor, behind the TV.
I think it might be stress due to her brother going and her mum going outside, but any ideas what else it could be?
Or, if it is stress, what can we do to stop her?
When she has done it, i rub her nose in it then put her straight in the litter tray, but I just dont know what to do.
Please helpxxx

So yes, this is normal and it's going to take some time, patience and lots of love.

Basically she was taken from the only home she's ever known - underwent surgery - massive stress and pain and now is in a new house with new people she doesn't know. It's a huge huge change going on in her life and she's majorly stressed.

She needs to build trust - she needs to understand that good things are happening now and that she's past the bad stuff.

It's harder for an older cat (though at 1 year she's really almost a kitten); give her time and definitely don't force things on her. Play and be around. Bengals want to play and want to be around people; she eventually come around.

I will say this; I have a Bengal that will only be pet on her terms. If you go to her and try to pet her she'll run away and growl if you pick her up. However, if she comes to you she's happy to be pet and cuddled. It just has to be on her terms.

Congratulations on getting your bengal.

Echoing the above, it takes time for a cat to settle, more so for an adult cat and as she has just been spayed I guess that there are still hormonal issues going on - I've heard a female bengal who was in the mood for love and they are LOUD.

Time is on your side and it will take time to have her feel part of the family. Our first cat was a rescue - 1-2 years old and it was a steep learning curve, he was scared and defensive and we all lost skin and blood learning that it takes time for a cat to feel at home. When he settled in he was the most loving, cuddly cat you could imagine. Time, patience and love will win a cat over.

To help that process along, listen to your cat- she's told you how much she loves playing, so play with her till she is panting, give her a minute or two and do it all again several times over - wear her out with play each night and you'll build the bond with her that you are looking for. She might, like some other bengals, never be a lap cat, but playing with her as much as possible will both ease the issue of being active at night and it will leave her knackered and looking for a nice comfy place for a nap - what it more comfy than your best friend's lap ?

Also think about Feliway in the short term - this might help, with the above, to reduce the anxiety. It is available as spray or diffuser that you plug into the wall.

Thank you everyone for your informative responses! It's been almost 2 months now and she has really started to come out of her shell. She still isn't a "lap cat" but she's much more affectionate. I feel as though things can only get better from here! I have attached a photo of her. :)

While it can happen a lot of Bengals just aren't lap cats.

Richardovellee, there are a few issues here. First, you don't take a bengal kitten away from the mom before 12 weeks. Secondly you don't turn out a newly-spayed female to roam the outdoors! The mom needs to be with the last kitten and training the little one. Many people seem to think bengals are like your ordinary cats who can be weaned and given away or sold at 8 weeks. That's not how it works with bengals. I can see why you are having issues. I am questioning the date in your post and then the date of your post.

Rubbing your cat's face in the urine is not going to help. My advice is that you take her to the VET to make sure she is healthy and doesn't have a UTI or something else going on. You are trying to punish a cat that does not understand -- and will never understand. It's unfair to the kitty. If your vet gives her a clean bill of health, make sure you have at least THREE, yes THREE litter boxes. The little one may need them spaced throughout the house. If you have ever tried to potty train a child ... you know they don't learn overnight! Be patient and loving, and take the kitten to the vet.

Richard - rubbing your kitten's face in the urine is so very far away from what you should be doing in this case.

First, get her checked out with a vet - it is not normal to pee everywhere and there is quite possibly a health reason.

Second, you need to be creating a bond of trust with your kitten. I am sure that putting yourself in her place, if you couldn't help where you were peeing but some big creature grabbed you by the head and forced your face into the urine then trust would be the very last word to cross your mind.

Aszucs, what a gorgeous kitty!