Hi everyone,

I'll apologize for the length of this post in advance :)

So a bit of back story on my situation. I've had my boy, Lennox, for going on 3 years. He's been with me ever since he left the cattery. For the first two and a half years, he lived with only me. I never had roommates and had only the same few guests over from time to time. I was really the only one to give daily, constant interaction and affection. However, two months ago, my boyfriend moved in. Lennox and my boyfriend get along well enough though its neither really cares for the other.

Now here's where it gets a bit sticky. Whenever I am in close proximity of my boyfriend, on the couch watching TV for example, Lennox insists on wanting to play. I play with him quite often and to the point where he tires himself out and falls asleep in the middle of the floor. If i'm on the couch by myself, Lennox is off doing his own thing. But the minute my boyfriend sits down next to me, or vice versa, he's up to his attention demanding antics. His favorite: scratching at the TV screen (which happens to be my boyfriends). When he does this, we usually shoo him off but he'll jump right back up the moment we sit down. Sometimes I will get down on the floor, play with him until he falls asleep or gets bored and then climb back on the couch. At which point he wakes up and repeats. He does this relentlessly, every single night. We've begun putting him in the bedroom and closing the door when he does this. Mostly, he just curls up on the bed and sleeps but sometimes he cries and paws at the door. So of course I feel bad doing this and end up letting him out after awhile and more often than not, he goes right back to the TV screen.

The second problem is the sleeping situation. Prior to my boyfriend moving, Lennox slept with me a good majority of nights. Now, there simply isn't much room left in the bed for him, although i'd be happy to make space if he would just settle down. But he won't. Instead, he gets into various things around the room, demanding attention and wanting to play, including his coveted scratching the TV screen. He used to just curl up in bed with me and go right to sleep. I try to keep him in the room at night hoping that he'll settle down and sleep but of course, he doesn't and because of this he gets closed out at night.

Any suggestions (other than getting rid of the boyfriend) on how to alleviate this jealous behavior? I truly feel horrible every time I close him out of the bedroom or lock him in there but his relentless antics get under my boyfriends skin. PLEASE HELP!

It's kind of funny reading this, because looking at it from afar, it's pretty simple... he's training you. He does something, watches for your reaction, and if your reaction is good from his point of view (him getting attention, affection, play, food etc.) then of *course* he's going to repeat the action that got that result again and again and again. If he doesn't get the "good reaction" from you every time, just knowing that he might get it will cause him to do it over and over, and I don't even think it's necessarily jealousy or anything like that, it's simply stimulus and reaction.

To end that, you just need to be disciplined and be extremely careful not to "give in". For the tv, I'd just spray a little "bitter yuck" around it. As far as sleeping, if you want him to be in the bedroom with you, you have to either 100% ignore him after "lights out", or the first time he acts up, put him out. Another tact would be to just put things away and not give him the opportunity to "get into stuff". Maybe giving him his own cat tree in your bedroom would cause him to calm down a bit and feel like the "top cat" high atop his tree.

If you want to go the extra mile, you might try to clicker train him (to stay in his bed, or to sit down quietly when you watch tv etc). Otherwise you just have to be super-duper conscious about the action/reaction thing that is going on now.

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The little monsters 3

my old cat used to scratch the cupboard door in our bedroom. Attention seeking pure and simple. The only thing to do is ignore. It will probably take a long time but it's the only way! These ratbag cats!

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Melissa

UK
Oscar - Rescue (Rascal!!!) Bengal

Been there, bought the t shirt and sent it back as a reject.

I've been there 3 times with the scratching of the TV, it's definitely attention seeking.

My previous bengal started it off and when I realised what he was up to I put the tv up on the wall, problem solved.

Then came my boy Magic after Frosty passed away, at first he ignored the tv then he would get up onto the unit under it and stretch up to it, so solution moved everything underneath it, once again problem solved, in time he forgot all about the tv and I was able to put the unit back where I wanted it.

Then the biggest problem of all came along my little girl Pearl who I got early part of this year as a playmate for Magic.
Well she discovered the tv and would jump at it and literally swing from the bottom of it, so yet again I have rearranged it underneath so she cannot reach, but I found with her I have had to change or put away so much of my stuff it's actually funny.

Good luck, there is a solution to everything it's just discovering what it is.

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Clare
Magic (brown spotted boy born 31 March 2012)
Pearl (seal Lynx Point girl born 1 October 2015)
Bristol, UK

Your bengal has bonded to you and has had you to himself for years. Now competition has moved in to take the attention away. What you need to do is engage your boyfriend into accepting Lennox and Lennox accepting the boyfriend. I am guessing the boyfriend isn't a cat person. You can all live peacefully together if you become a "family." This means the boyfriend attempting to have more contact with the kitty.

Yours is not the first situation like this and we recently had two kittens re-homed due to the boyfriend not wanting to accept the kittens. Human relationships are complicated and when there is an existing pet from either side, it can present an issue that can only be resolved with communication and concessions.

Animals can feel jealousy. Lennox is seeking attention. I don't believe locking him away is the answer as bengals are highly social and want to be with their owners and you are punishing him for what is his normal behavior. A good talk with the b/f to try and get him to interact more with Lennox (trust me, cats know when someone isn't a cat person). My husband is NOT a cat person, but he adores our bengal. Raiden lays in the recliner next to him and gets pets, scratches, massages all evening long, which he loves. You need to be one big happy family, so give it a shot. Give the b/f a wand toy and have him play with Lennox or have him give Lennox treats.