Hi Lucy. My girls were not really frightened of Oscar apart from when he ambushed them on the landing. It was only play but it still hurt and drew blood. That meant the girls would rush across the landing thinking the faster they went, the safer they were.....WRONG!!! It just worked Oscar up and was the perfect chase and bring down the prey scenario. Quite funny if there was not blood involved. Debbie is in Yorkshire, I think, so she did not come to my home. The £40 was for a very long phone call (1hr 30 mins) and then unlimited emails after. She basically explained, as I'm sure you know that bengals have different needs than your basic DSH and how to meet those needs. My girls were fully on board with the play and feeding after I had explained that Oscar was only playing when he rugby tackled their ankles on the landing
Meeting their play and hunting needs are paramount. Also respecting their space as theirs and not invading it ie kids climbing on the cat tree etc. I also used to kind of baby talk and used a sing song voice to Oscar which seemed to chill him out. I also used the Zylkene which Debbie recommended as it is totally natural and could help Miaow to just chill a little.
I'm sure your kids would find the flying frenzy great fun and also they can stay away from Miaow using it. You can buy lots of attachments and Oscars favourite is the wriggly worm. He also loves the wand under rugs, blankets etc. The Kong Kikaroo is also perfect as they can wrestle and use their back legs to shred it. Quite violent but it's what their prey drive requires.
Oscar seemed to have his dominance directed mostly at me for some reason. He sometimes sat on the girls laps then would just bite them, not drawing blood but hard enough. The thing to watch out for is the eyeballing then the pupils dilating. I used to tell my girls to always have a folded up fleece blanket over their legs when Oscar wanted to be on their laps. Also have the large stuffed toy to fend off. Then, If Oscar started doing his thing where he would stare and kind of get up in your face, they needed to just stand up and he would fall safely off their laps without their legs getting shredded as the blanket was between cat and flesh.
It's not easy when fearful children are involved as scratches hurt. It does sound as though Miaow is just scratching as a reaction to you doing something she does not like rather than stalking and hurting you. This is a really good thing as if you can recognise her triggers then you can avoid them. Maybe when if the kids give Miaow a treat and feed or play with her then they get a treat too. I am totally with the bribery for pets and kids!!!
Good luck and thinking of you.