Hi everyone!

I have a 1 year old male Bengal, Henry, who is now almost 14 lbs. I decided to get him a companion as he was destroying my house out of boredom. I ended up adopting an adorable female american shorthair (regular cat). She is only 3 months old and is tiny. I've had her now for a week and the 2 of them seem to be getting along well enough. I let them play while I supervise but separate them after that. My main concern is that their playing consists of the kitten (Harley) running from corner to another corner hiding from the big guy and swatting at him playfully. He will chase her where ever she runs. They seem to be enjoying this... but at any point where she gets comfortable enough to come out of hiding he pounces on her instantly and starts rough housing... at first he's kind of holding back and she'll dart away but after a half hour of this he gets more and more rough by bitting her and grabbing her more aggressively (still playfully but he REALLY gets into it) At this point she starts to yelp and hiss. I separate them if this happens. I'm really worried that Henry will never calm down enough to just sleep with her or let her just relax (she sometimes just wants to lie down but he wont let her) Its almost like he's somewhat bullying her a little or is still being territorial. I'm just not sure where to go from this....especially because he will always be way bigger then her even if she's full grown and he is VERY strong.

PS I have never introduced cats before, especially with a bengal involved but I'm just following everything I've read to do like separating them and supervising play time.

The introduction of two cats is not watching them play and separating them. Your new kitten needs to have a "safe room" to acclimate to her new environment. I think your mistake was getting a female moggie and not a male bengal. Male bengals are highly territorial and always have more energy than any moggie kitten can put out. You've given him prey -- a small female kitten. She does not know the ropes yet and it appears she is scared of him at times. She will grow -- not as big as your male bengal who is already a huge boy -- but it will take months and months. Hopefully, you have cat trees for these two to escape to. You need to protect your little girl so she is not injured. Bullying by a large male bengal will result in a huge loss of confidence in the new kitty. That can present behavioral problems (peeing outside of the litter box, for one). Know that Henry will NEVER calm down. He is a bengal and they are just active all the time.

Hopefully, at some point down the road, the play will be play. Rough housing is fine as long as your kitten has grown up and is enjoying it. In the mean time, you must supervise them whenever they are together and separate them when you are not gong to be home. There may come a time when you will find them nuzzled up together and sleeping. But it won't come for a long while yet. You're in for a fun ride until they can co-exist. Be patient and give it all time and make sure your little gal stays safe. She must be terrified of him at times.

Imo I don't think it is a matter of introductions, because based on what you've said, the issue isn't the resident being territorial (if it were territorial behavior, the mere sight of the other would hugely upset him, and make him want to kill (or avoid) her). The issue is that one cat is more athletic, has a much higher prey drive, and wants to play rougher than the other can. I think it was an error in judgement to think that just getting "any old cat" to be a bengal's playmate was going to work. You may have just selected a gentle well-meaning cuddily kitty and expected her to be a playmate for this huge, muscular, athletic bengal cat. That aint happening. It sounds like he REALLY REALLY wants to play, but she just isn't cooperating with the kind of play he needs.

For example, with my cats, Serafina and Gaga will go at it, silently (in terms of vocalizations), tackling each other and throwing each other to the ground, and chasing each other at full speed. But the key is that it is reciprocal. One moment one is the chaser, and the next it is the other. So they can play their rough games together.

When they try to play with Neytiri, it is completely one-sided. The bengal pretends Neytiri is prey, they chase her, until Neytiri finds defend-able ground, or "plays dead". Then the bengal loses interest, and the game is over. I'm actually pretty lucky that this doesn't seem to stress Neytiri out, she is just kind of like "oh no, this again.... ok, do your thing, lets get this over with...". And then after that is over they tolerate and accept one another as roommates. But they will never really be compatible playmates.

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The little monsters 3

My cats are adults now and they still go at it attacking one another, getting one in a headlock and flipping with a body slam then pouncing on the stomach and kicking each other in the belly, neck biting, rolling, running, chasing…this is a daily activity each morning and evening. They are silent for the most part, maybe some snorting. If I hear hissing, I step in. My one cat gets carried away some times. I pity your poor female kitten. She may be able to stand her ground when she is an adult, but right now she must look like a rodent toy for your adult male. I would definitely supervise. My one cat is stronger than I am and she is a female. Thank goodness she likes me. She is pretty gentle towards me as long as I don't sleep too late.

I do agree with the points the others have raised here there is no point waiting for Henry to calm down he won't Bengals are still bonkers well into old age it's one of the features of the breed they never really grow up. As you already have a large Bengal boy you would have been better off getting another male or at least a more athletic breed to go with him. But as you already have the little girl now you need to work with that.

They do need to spend more time together besides just play time or he will just see her as a toy. The reason for a safe room is so she has her own space and he's introduced into that instead of the other way around. I'm not sure you will ever be able to get them to be friends and I doubt she'll help too much with him being destructive but you should at least be able to get them to co-exist even if they don't get along too well.

When I first got a Bengal 16 years ago we used to have a 2 year old male moggie when we brought my female Bengal home they never bonded and eventhough she was female and smaller than him she was like a bodybuilder next to him when they played (or more she tried to play with him) she really could pack a punch so I can't imagine what it's like for your kitten with a big male.

All I can suggest is lots of Feliway and maybe be prepared to always have to separent them if he starts really going for her but they need to spend more time together not just play time.

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- Sarah
Arya 24/04/16 - Seal Lynx Point Rosetted Bengal
Griffith 16/04/16 - Silver Seal Lynx Point Rosetted Bengal
Mina (in my avatar)- 1999-2016 - Seal Mink Spotted Bengal (Snow) - run free at rainbow bridge