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Bengal Cat Forums • View topic - Kitten not interested in people?
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 15, 2016 2:32 am 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Fri Mar 04, 2016 6:11 pm
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Hey there guys. So I've been told by the breeder I'm picking from (kinda have picked but somehow this keeps bugging me) that this little guy won't make a very good pet (for me that is) as he doesn't really seem interested in humans or play at all. I've watched a few videos of him and I noticed the same thing.
While he will play and interact with his brothers, he kinda just ignores attempts by the breeder to play.
(She does so with her hands mostly, not sure how much I like that but I do understand it's hard not to).
He usually runs around on his own, doing his own thing - he doesn't mind being touched or moved about. As such I was wondering how he would grow up? He's curious but at the same time seems kinda like "deer in the headlights" about things. When she makes noises she can't quite grab his attention at all.
Here's a link to the most recent video I got if him:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=COyYSLBL1l0

I'm curious as to how he can be so very different from the others (they play with her avidly, runs around her and follows her when she walks) and if he really wouldn't make a good pet?
I hope you guys can shed some light on this :)


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 15, 2016 3:03 am 
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Asian Leopard Cat
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Hey, they can change a lot especially once they only have you around and they trust you. When I got Mina originally she was frightened of people and used to hide everywhere as she got older she turned into a really cuddly little girl. She was always on my lap or following me around asking for cuddles.

It's a very different thing when the kitten only has you to play with and not their siblings that they know better. Don't worry just give the kitten time and it will all work out, they change a lot within the first 6 months and mature into their personalities.

Also he might be food orientated instead of play, all kittens are different.

_________________

- Sarah
Arya 24/04/16 - Seal Lynx Point Rosetted Bengal
Griffith 16/04/16 - Silver Seal Lynx Point Rosetted Bengal
Mina (in my avatar)- 1999-2016 - Seal Mink Spotted Bengal (Snow) - run free at rainbow bridge


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 15, 2016 3:18 am 
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Asian Leopard Cat
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Joined: Thu Dec 02, 2010 1:00 am
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Location: Portland Oregon, USA
Hmm, I'm not sure what to think. I guess I would share your concern if it were me picking out a kitten, given the choice I'd tend to want to largest, most active, most friendly, most playful etc., but the concern might be unfounded. All three of mine were older when I first met them, as have the shelter cats that I've had in the past. I just honestly don't have much experience with kittens *that* young. Hopefully someone can chime in that does.

I do really worry about a breeder who doesn't know better than to teach bengal kittens that fingers are prey tough. Wow, he/she certainly isn't doing the eventual owners of these kittens any favors in that regard! Owch.

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 15, 2016 2:23 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Thu May 23, 2013 2:21 pm
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It is really difficult to tell from that video. The kitty appears scared! Not sure the finger/hand thing is the best way to judge. Has she taken the kitten to the vet? Usually the breeder will get them their first round of shots and just to make sure they are healthy. The cat could have hearing or sight issues. That is extremely rare. This is not to say that Mink won't socialize with you and become a great pet. The breeder selected this cat for you, I believe. I would take this kitty as long as he is healthy. Bonding with you will prove a lot of things. Some kitties take longer to adjust -- every cat has a different personality. The kitty is just beautiful!


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 15, 2016 10:39 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Fri Mar 04, 2016 6:11 pm
Posts: 128
Actually she recommended another kitten - I was just very curious, since I've never seen a kitten act like that. He isn't afraid of her touching him though, she can lift him, stroke him, grab him - he doesn't really react scared or shy away :) She recommended a Lynx boy he's more playful and very different from this kitten.


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 15, 2016 11:59 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Fri Aug 14, 2015 1:51 pm
Posts: 190
Maasai was very much the same when he was tiny. When the breeder sent me videos before I met him, I thought straight away that he looked very nervous and I wasnt too sure. Went I went to visit them at about 8 weeks old he was still the same, off on his own, seemed like it was all a bit much for him, especially when I picked him up, but my instinct told me to take him. As he has grown he has become so much more confident and loves to play now. He still does take himself off to be alone, and he has never taken to being held, but hes a totally well adjusted, socialised cat. I think it all depends on them as an individual and how they adapt to their new home.


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 16, 2016 1:12 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Thu May 23, 2013 2:21 pm
Posts: 9217
The thing is, this little baby needs a home and someone who can work with him. Tossing him aside for a different cat may not be the answer! In the end, it is your decision and you are unable to visit this kitty in person to actually see for yourself. Yes, this baby lacks some confidence that can come along once he gets settled into a new home. I understand why you are relying on your breeder. If you want to switch out the kitties, then by all means do so. Your decision to get a bengal has been a tough one! And you don't need to be always "doubting" yourself. Based on your previous posts and going back and forth on the fence about which cat to get -- I guess I'd go with the breeder's suggestion. If you do not and you take this baby, there will always be that question in your mind as to whether you made the right choice -- and that's not going to be good for you or the kitty. Especially because this precious little thing may take weeks or months to settle and you're always going to wonder "should I have taken that other kitty."


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 16, 2016 1:56 pm 
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Bengal Kitten

Joined: Mon Jun 06, 2016 3:12 pm
Posts: 18
Oh dear. The poor thing looks completely overwhelmed. Even when he shows a slight interest in playing, she'll grab him or change what she's doing and he'd become overwhelmed all over again. In all honesty, I cringed every time she approached him or grabbed him when he was backing away and asking for space. All he's trying to say is "give me time to figure this out ... I'm not sure what you want and it's scaring me" ... in all honesty, it didn't seem like she had a lot of respect for what the kitten was asking for ... that or she was completely oblivious to it, which is even more concerning.

Some animals just don't like being man handled like that. He's not mean or aggressive about it and I actually find that highly impressive. He seems extremely tolerant and THAT is a fantastic trait to have in a cat.

I realize cats are different than humans, but put yourself in his shoes. You're an introvert. You're stuck in a busy house with a bunch of other kittens and some giant hairless beast-cat who keeps waving appendages in your face and grabbing you and putting you places you just don't want to be and you don't understand why ... You've tried asking for space, but giant hairless beast-cat doesn't speak the same meows as you and keeps doing it anyways. Personally, when I am anxious and overwhelmed the last thing on earth that I want is to have someone poking and prodding at me. One of two things happens in those situations ... either I lash out or I shut down ... just like this poor baby.

I am a sucker for lost and broken things and if it were me, there'd be no question that I would take the "defective" cat. From what I know about your situation, you are in a perfect position to take this shy, scared little mouse of a cat and bring out his true personality and confidence. There's nothing better for a cat like this than one on one time with a trusted friend in a stable environment.

Unsure animals need time and patience to come into their own, but when they do, it is so beautiful and so rewarding. If you take this little boy and you invest your time and love in him I bet you he would be your best friend in the whole entire world.

Ultimately, the decision is yours. You know yourself and your situation better than anyone else ... take a leap of faith and trust what your get tells you. If you want the little mouse cat, take him home, love him and watch him blossom into the best friend you've ever had. If your gut says he isn't the right one, then trust that too and take the kitten the breeder recommends and you will still have the best friend you've ever had. Really, you'll win either way :)


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 16, 2016 2:23 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat
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I have to agree with some of the others after watching the video I personally think it's just more laid back and quieter which could actually suit you better. Have a think about your own lifestyle and what you want in a cat, my little girl was very quiet and she bonded with me very well, if it is just you having the kitten then it could be fine with having a quieter little guy. I was also thinking although that Little Lynx boy is very playful that could equal a lot more scratching an boisterous behaviour especially for a house kitty. It's up to you but maybe think about your own personality and which would suit you better, do you have the time to give to a slightly more introverted cat and are you able to be more subtle with your play with him etc. After all every kitten needs a home as was said above and I think he could suit you in a quieter environment where there aren't children and he's an only Bengal.

Have a think about what you want in a cat and what you can bring to the relationship. I personally would take the little Mink guy in a heartbeat as I know what a special little girl mine was and how she bonded to me cos we where both introverted, she became more extroverted and cuddly around me as she aged but she was still very much my cat and sort me out at every opportunity cos she wanted to be with only me, I found the most special relationship you can have is between you and an animal which is initially scared and quiet and how they blossom.

I wouldn't personally see him as slow or antisocial as stated above I just think he's introverted and more laid back, the other kitten looked rather boisterous to me.

_________________

- Sarah
Arya 24/04/16 - Seal Lynx Point Rosetted Bengal
Griffith 16/04/16 - Silver Seal Lynx Point Rosetted Bengal
Mina (in my avatar)- 1999-2016 - Seal Mink Spotted Bengal (Snow) - run free at rainbow bridge


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 16, 2016 2:46 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat
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Joined: Tue Sep 23, 2014 6:38 pm
Posts: 1838
That looks like an adorable kitten to me. I don't know what is expected when recording a tiny baby like that for a couple of minutes. When my two came to my home with the foster mom, Blondie was very shy. She ran back into the carrier while Grace strutted around and showed off. The foster mom said that was the reverse of what they experienced at their home.

I really only wanted Grace but they were a package deal. Two years later, Blondie and I have such a strong connection. Blondie is always around me while Grace is much less cuddly. They are both delightful cats though. Kitties constantly change as they grow up. It was a while after my kittens came to live with me before we connected. They are little aliens in their own world. It's not till later that a strong bond shows up after they rely on you for food and water, a clean litter box and endless hours of play and cuddling. We provide structure and tend to their needs they grow to love us and our consistency.

When I see that video, I see a beautiful kitten with a lot of potential once he is in place with a caring owner. My two cats had a really rough start and were rescued from a kill shelter at 8 weeks old, covered in ring worm and almost hairless. Their foster mom did an amazing job bringing them back to stable health.They were not socialized and she had a house full of rescue animals so it wasn't until they came to live with me at 4 months old that they got full attention and a chance to blossom. It's more about what happens once they come to live with you that really matters.


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 16, 2016 4:43 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Fri Mar 04, 2016 6:11 pm
Posts: 128
I'm very happy to hear that your thoughts are very close to the thoughts me and my family have about him - that he's not actually a scared kitten, but just different from the others.
I think I fell in love with him the moment he ran across a video - it was taken of the Lynx boys but suddenly he just went right past them in a fast scuttle leaving them to stare after him in wonder.
He really reminds me of our own cat, Oscar - we got him from a rescue and he was the most scared little thing. It took years to help him grow and get confidence, but he is the nicest most tolerant and loving boy there is - he really bonded to me and I am very proud of having helped him become the cat he is today.

She told me yesterday, that a breeder is coming by this weekend to take a look at him - if the breeder doesn't pick him, I can chose to switch to him. I reckon I will do a serious talk with my family and decide what to do from there.
I can't thank you guys enough for the insights! I haven't been around kittens much at all. I've spent my whole life dreaming of the day I would get my own cat, since I grew up with stories of naughty Siamese and fun loving Abyssinians.
I am a bit of a revolving door when it comes to decisions - it has caused me nothing but grief in the past and I try very hard to stick with my choices now, but big ones like this draws out the worst in me :/
I'll look forward to letting you know what happens after the weekend :)


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 17, 2016 2:22 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Thu May 23, 2013 2:21 pm
Posts: 9217
Do you not have a deposit on this baby? The breeder should not be showing him to another breeder if you are interested in getting this kitty! I have a feeling you are not assertive enough. If you want this baby, you tell the breeder that this is the cat you're taking. Period! End of story! I am hoping beyond hope that once you get your kitty, your sense of doubting everything will come to an end! This baby will be relying on you for its love and care -- and you need have confidence so the kitty has confidence. I KNOW YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 19, 2016 9:59 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Fri Mar 04, 2016 6:11 pm
Posts: 128
Naw Sherry, I have my deposit on a Lynx boy.
Since he's turning out to be the most considerate of people - He plays but is careful with scratching and with biting already. She has recommended him all the way.
My friends say it's only because he's not "here" so I have trouble settling down.
He got named today, so I hope my mind will embrace this choice better - since he is more mine now.

On distracting note, I will get my apartment key soon, so I hope it will distract me from the whole "doubting myself" XD I even picked a color for the living room, much easier than picking a kitten lol


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