The night was stressful - we put Lily in the kitchen first as she settled soon in there the previous night. Unfortunately she didn't settle as well as meowed for a long time. I switched them again in the middle of the night and when I woke I could hear Molly meowing constantly. It's so upsetting to hear. They must of made good companions in the kitchen previously as they have never meowed this much to come out. They never meowed when we put them in there either. They only ever meowed before when we were a little later than usual getting up or occasionally I've heard Molly pinging the door handle around 5am. When I let Lily out in the night she purred constantly again for a good 10 mins or so and had a big fuss. It was similar with Molly went I went down first thing. She was so happy to see me purring away for at least 20 mins, having a fuss and following me around tye kitchen. It seems they miss each other but at the same time can't be left alone together??

When they met up this morning it was positive, they touched noses and rubbed bodies and after a couple of tense moments where we thought something might go off they then both settled down. Not together but in the same room. Lily even went on the cat tree and Molly didn't appear bothered.

I'm certainly hopeful that things will change for the better! Every time there is a "good" experience, you get so hopeful! Keep us informed on how things are going.

We are hopeful. We've had a good day overall so far. No hissing or growling and they even sat together briefly without me putting them together - Lily jumped onto the chair and settled down 5 minutes with Molly.

There was a strange happening which indicates that the neighbours cat could have more to do with this than we were thinking. Molly was sat on the living room windowsill looking out, then suddenly she jumped down and hid under the chair. She came out with encouragement but went straight back under hiding again. She did this 3 or 4 more times and then stayed out but acted strangely for the next hour. Shortly after that we saw the next door neighbours cat looking through our patio doors. My partner chased him off but I saw him sat on our fence not long after that.

Hi Rebecca,

We have a neighbourhood cat that our two were bullied by as kittens. In fact, I think it was him who beat Hendrix up as he is terrified of him.

I have a water pistol and this cat will run now as soon as it sees me as I managed to get him a couple of times and he definitely comes round less. It's not a high powered one or anything as I don't want to hurt him, just to get out of our garden! I think he also caused redirected aggression a few months ago as Hendrix is very good at opening the shutters in front of our patio doors so I now put a cat scratcher lounger in front of the shutters to stop him opening them and seeing him. It wasn't nice being woken up by a huge cat fight between my two boys!

In fact this was around the time all our issues started, just on a much lower scale to what is happening now!

Get a water pistol and chase the cat off (mine is always ready to use!) and hopefully you will find your situation will settle back down a bit!

Wishing you a calm and hiss-free day! X

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Clare
Hendrix and Jagger, Brown Marble Boys (born 18 August 2013)
Hampshire, UK

Rebecca, a sight blocker may help, although cats can still smell another cat through walls and doors! Always when there is a real change in behavior, I question whether there is another cat in the area. Cats are super territorial and your kitties don't want another cat in their space. Do what you can to keep this other cat away! There are odors that cats apparently do not care for, such as citrus, but it hasn't worked for me! My neighbor's cat just laid next to the peels on the deck! I also hear they do not like the smell of peppermint or vinegar. There are also air canisters that are motion-sensored and you can get water ones, too!

Hi Claire and Sherry,

We had a really good day yesterday, then after I went to bed my partner was supervising in the living room, Molly was on the windowsill again, she came off onto the TV cabinet and knocked the house phone onto the floor behind it. My partner went to pick it up, then turned round and Lily and Molly were nose to nose. Molly's hair then stood on end, they growled at each other and Molly hissed. Such a shame after we'd managed to avoid any incident all day. This does indicate something outside was again upsetting Molly.

We separated them again and again whichever cat was in the kitchen meowed for hours. My little girl had a bad night (teething) so I was awake with her for two hours straight and I could hear Lily meowing all that time. Heartbreaking. But I know it's better than letting them be together and possibly hurting each other. When they were reunited in the morning they did appear happy to see each other, touching noses and rubbing up against each other. We went out earlier and separated them and when I came in and let Molly out she went straight to Lily and they touched noses and rubbed bodies again. Lily had also been digging up the carpet trying to get in the kitchen. It's so confusing as they really do appear to be missing each other.

The feliway spray came today so I have sprayed some blankets they lay on and also the cat tree and also sprayed my hand and stroked both of them like you said.

If we do see next doors cat we will definitely chase him off. Over the summer we'd tend to see him 2 or 3 times a day for a few consecutive days but then we wouldn't see him for a week or so. We didn't have full length blinds on the patio doors at that point though so maybe we've not been spotting him when he's been knocking about. I don't think I'd be quick enough with a water pistol - he knows what I'm going to do now as as soon as I open the patio door he runs off. Then he either pauses at the edge of the garden or he sits on the fence until I get nearer to him.

Thank you Sherry for the tips to ward him off, I think we will be needing to do something in our garden to deter him especially now I'm going back to work as we don't want him terrorising them through the patio door while we're out.

I hope you too Claire have had a calm and hiss-free day! X

I have just read your update Claire, I hope you have a better night tonight than you have had the last couple of nights x

Hi Rebecca

Yes, thank you it was a much better day - but I had my eye on them constantly, any staring at each other and I was between them breaking their sight line and distracting them with toys or treats, whatever was to hand.

We even survived bed making which tends to get boisterous, I had to keep moving them if it looked like it was going to kick off, but despite both being very riled up (it's always been their favourite game, especially when Jon is home) they calmed down afterwards and we had a hiss-free day.

Now I understand their ear movements better, I could see Hendrix felt threatened when jagger came into the front room afterwards, but it didn't come to anything fortunately. I'd seen that ear movement before and thought Hendrix was the one challenging jagger - how wrong was I?!

Back to work today so hopefully they get through the day by ignoring each other until we get home! X

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Clare
Hendrix and Jagger, Brown Marble Boys (born 18 August 2013)
Hampshire, UK

I believe in both of these cases, we have a cat who has lost some of their confidence to the more aggressive kitty! I wonder if it's just this time of the year! Cats do seem to know when there is another cat in the area. I'm guessing if you can get rid of the nuisance cat and build up the confidence in your kitty, things might get better. I'm hoping the Feliway works for you, Rebecca. I used both the spray and the diffuser and it absolutely stopped my Raiden from marking the headboard to our bed. Our nuisance cat moved away over a year ago and we've been problem-free since.

Hi Claire, I'm glad you had a better day.

I've not quite mastered the ear movements yet, I keep having to refer back to the book!

Hi Sherry, I do think the Feliway is working. They spent 4 & 1/2 hours earlier napping together on our bed. I didn't even put them together either, Lily approached Molly.

We've had a good day but then after their mammoth nap they both had lots of energy. Lily playfully jumped on Molly's back in the kitchen but Molly took it the wrong way. Hairs on their backs were raised but no hissing and growling and us distracting them stopped it going any further.

I'm back at work tomorrow so unfortunately they will have to be separated during the day which they won't be happy about. We'll need a new carpet buy the time this is sorted as they keep trying to dig their way to each other!