Hello everyone,

I think I have messed up something horrible. Through a series of miss steps I fear I have ruined the chance that my resident Bengal can now coexist with the newcomer.

My name is Brad and I am from the Seattle Wa. area in the states.

I have a 18 month old female Bengal named Octavia. I have had her for just over a year and she is the perfect little girl. She is passive, and the biggest sweetie.

Several years ago my dad moved in to my house with me. He was getting older, and I did not want him living alone after mum had passed. So Octavia always had someone home with her while I was at work.

My dad passed away a few weeks ago and now my little girl would be home alone for at least 10 hours a day during the week.

My thought was to get another cat for me and my little girl. I started searching. I thought it would be better to get a cat around the same age as Octavia instead of a kitten. My first misstep.

I checked local rescues and shelters, but did not see anything that got my heart beating fast..so I searched and searched. Then I found a reputable Bengal breeder that had a two year old Queen that that was being retired. The notes said passive, shy and delicate kitty needing a quiet home. Another misstep.

I called and made arrangements to go see the kitty on the 12th of September. They brought my new little girl to meet me. They placed her on the counter and she walked right up to me with her tail straight up in the air. I scratched her head and she just continued to walk up me till I was holding her. From there she climbed up to my shoulders and had her tail draped across my face while she sniffed my cheeks and ear while purring loudly. The breeder who was bouncing back and forth between me and another couple looking at a kitten said "well I think she chose you"

The trip home was uneventful. She slept and I just kept thinking this was going to work out so well. I figured within a week they would be fast friends.

I got her into her temporary room. Which is a spare bedroom. I got her toys little box, water dish and food (from the breeder) all set up. After giving her some time to get use to her new temporary room I went in to check on her. I was able to ease her out from under the bed with a feather toy. From there she crawled onto my lap and started to purr. I scratched her head and out of no where she bit my wrist and hard. I looked down at my wrist as four puncture holes soon turned red with blood. I left to clean up my arm. I went back in a few hours later and tried again. A few, butt scratch's and wham she bit me again. More holes more blood. All the time her paws are kneading me and she is purring loud.

My running joke was I could tell how many days I had her by the wounds on my arms. Each time after she bit me I would stop the bonding session and leave her alone in the room. Most of the bites happen when I am petting her, but not always. And it is usually after a few minutes of petting when she bites. I have tried to get her to bite so I can try and figure out a trigger. I cant. But none have been from fear, being startled, anger or being hurt.

Besides the biting she is a wonderful cat. She uses her litter box fine, only uses her scratching post. Good eater, cute as a button.

On Monday September the 14th I cracked the door to the bedroom so my resident could see the newcomer. There was some howling and hissing so I closed the door. Over the next day or so I would let Wednesday (the newcomer) out of her room so she could explore that section of the house. My resident was in another room with the door closed.

On the 16th I decided to let them get more of a face to face. I loaded Wednesday in the kitty carrier and took her to a neutral room. I then called Octavia to the room. There was hissing and spitting then Octavia ran out of the room.

On the 18th I thought it was time they met again. I brought Wednesday out of her room and led her where Octavia was. Hissing spitting then Wednesday chased after Octavia. Octavia ran and hide.

Saturday the 19th. I thought I would try it again. Same thing. Spitting, Hissing then Wednesday chased and Octavia ran.

Monday the 21st. Ditto. Wednesday chases and Octavia runs and hides with Wednesdays in pursuit.

I need advice as I am not sure what to do. I read somewhere that if one cat chases the other it will NEVER work out between the two cats.

Have I messed this one up beyond repair?

I now am spending even less time with my resident cat as I try to bond with Wednesday.

Thank you for your help

Brad

I can't really help with the two cats meeting issue but there are lots on here who can. One thing to say with the biting is when she is on your lap and you are petting her - do you stroke from head to tail? Sometimes if I do full body strokes for Oscar he kind of gets over stimulated and turns and tries to bite (never hard but still warning me). I can now read the signs and just let him be on my lap but don't stroke or just do behind the ears or cheeks etc. I would try to just stroke and tickle head area and leave the back alone. See if that helps. Good luck

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Melissa

UK
Oscar - Rescue (Rascal!!!) Bengal

First of all, welcome to the forum. I hope in some way we can help you. First thing you need to do is calm down! Deep breath. What you're experiencing is common! Things can get to the point where your kitties get along great -- just time and patience.

First, I'd be a little concerned about the new kitty biting you and drawing blood. Yes, she is probably totally stressed out in her new home. She was at the breeder's for a while and now there's a new environment with new smells, new people -- it's all very overwhelming for a kitty -- especially an adult cat who has had a lot of consistency in her life. Her life has been traumatized at this point. Everything familiar to her is gone. Look at it from her point of view.

Did you swap out the cat scents? In other words, did you have some item each of the cats had sat or slept on and did you swap it out with the other cat to familiarize them with the scent of the other cat? You need to do this for several days before introducing the cats face to face.

Next thing is to try to feed the cats together in the same general area. Let the food be the distraction which lets each cat associate good things with the other kitty. If either at is aggressive toward the other at this point, separate them and try again at another meal.

Introducing them goes better if someone is holding the new kitty and letting the other kitty investigate. Putting them down, face to face, will only end badly. Do not allow either cat to become aggressive toward the other. Just work at this several times.

Once you feel they are ready to be at ground level with each other, get out toys and play with each of them -- it helps to have another person around so each person is playing with a cat. The toy is the distraction. The cats know each other is there, but are focused on the toys.

This is going to take some time -- we've had countless cat owners dealing with the same situation and we've walked them through -- daily -- to reach a successful conclusion. You claim you are gone 10 hours a day, so the cats need to be separated during that time until you are certain they can co-exist without problems. This can take a week, two weeks, a month, two months. If you are prepared to put in the time and effort, you can all exist together just fine!!!

Please keep us informed and feel free to ask questions.

An older post that might help you is under Behaviour. Titled 'Help, I desperately need help'. Author was Fifi28 and was a couple of months ago. That would be a good one to read through as that is the day by day advice Sherry was referring to. The biting is strange as I reread your post and you said she was purring and padding when she bit you. Definitely sounds like over stimulation rather than fear or serious aggression. Obviously it needs to stop though!

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Melissa

UK
Oscar - Rescue (Rascal!!!) Bengal

Hello,

Thank you everyone for responding and for your helpful advice.

Melissa:
I think you nailed it. Her biting does seem to happen when she is excited. Last night I tried to look for signs of tail twitching, hair raised on her back etc.

Sherry:
Thank you. I was a long time lurker before posting. Thank you for giving me hope. I have swapped toys back and forth between my little girls.

I have feed treats to the two cats near the door to the bedroom that Wednesday is staying in. My resident cat has not been willing to get to close. However she has been hanging out near Wednesday's door and the two meowed back and forth a little last night. I will try it again starting tonight.

One of my mistakes I have made is I introduced them too early and Wednesday (new kitty) chased after Octavia (resident kitty) so there has already been aggression.

Melissa:
I will look up the older post as well. Thank you to you Sherry for the reference. I think last night she did bite me out of anger after she bit me she hissed. :)


This is how my daily routine seems to go with my girls:
I get home about 6:30 PM from work. Octavia meets me at the door. When we are done saying hi. I then greet Wednesday.

I will then put Octavia in a room and let Wednesday out giving her the run of the house for 45 to 90 minutes. I then put her back in her room with some treats and let Octavia out also with treats.

Later in the night I will go and just sit in the room with Wednesday. If she wants to engage me that is fine. But I try and have her come to me if she wants.

Later still I will go back in to Wednesday's room and will play with her and her toys.

About 5:00AM I get up and go sleep in the room with Wednesday till it is time to get ready for work. I leave for work at 8:30.

I am just trying to spend as much time around her as I can.

I think she would have made a great kitty had she ever been given the chance. I think she still can be a good kitty.

Thank you everyone I will keep you posted

Brad

I really don't believe in the irreparable thing. Especially since both cats are young, and they don't have a long history with each other. I think pretty much any sort of "mistake" made in cat introductions can be rectified with some effort and patience.

To me the biting is the most worrisome thing. You should definitely try to get a video of the biting. That would be really instructional, both for you and for others who are trying to help. You mentioned that in at least one case it was a "butt scratch" that got you bitten. That is an area that not all cats like to have touched. Also I think you should be mindful that there may be sensitive areas on your cat. If others are right and it's an over-stimulation thing, then don't do any full body strokes. Only a few touches around the head/neck/chin, and maybe back off if she gets real purry.

I do think it's a mistake to spend most of your time with the new cat. It's really the resident cat that you have to mend fences with when you get a new cat. I would shoot for 50-50 in terms of time spent, but err on the side of spending more time with the resident cat.

I can understand why someone might make a generality about the running thing, but I think that's certainly over-stated. I think in general if one cat runs from another cat pretty consistently, then it's the hunter/prey relationship. Cats really can't seem to help themselves when another animal scurries away from them. So an alpha/beta sort of order is certainly being established. But that said, that doesn't mean it "won't work out". There's a number of My Cat From Hell episodes where they work that sort of thing out. And his solution to the situation isn't to try to scold or prevent the alpha beating up on the beta, it's working with the beta to not be so afraid of the alpha. Basically, it's "if the scardy-cat doesn't run, then the whole episode is averted" type of idea.

But you may have to accept the possibility that there are different levels of "things working out", and it may be that the two cats are not best buddies, and do occasionally clash, but generally tolerate each other fine. Two of my cats, Serafina and Neytiri have that sort of relationship. Every few days I'll hear some "grumbling" (sort of half-hearted growling/hissing), followed by a full-speed chase where Serafina (my bengal) chases Neytiri (my oriental). And Serafina is in full hunt-mode, and Neytiri is in full flight mode. But since there are always plenty of escape routes, and things to hide under or climb, the chase is usually pretty short-lived, Neytiri finds an easily defensible position, and the game ceases to be fun for Serafina, and then an hour later it's like it never happened. Both of them accept each other as roomates, and have no problem with each other's presence.

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The little monsters 3

brianj12:

Thank you for your response. I will try and get a video of her biting.

I guess I have been spending more time with the new kitty. Since the first day Octavia (my resident) came home I have set aside at least 30 minutes in the morning and 30 more in the evening our play times. I have been trying to spend even more time with her since Wednesday arrived. She also has been getting a few more treats.

I do not mind if they are not the best of friends, though that was my hope.

When Wednesday has biten me in the past I have stopped the activity. If I was in her room I will get up and left the room. Is this the right thing to do?

Thank you

Brad

Cats that get over-stimulated or spooked will bite. I don't think you need to leave, but you stop whatever you are doing and let the new cat come to you when she is calm.

Regarding introducing the two: You need to wait long enough that both are genuinely curious and comfortable with you and their being an other cat in the house. If they are chattering back and forth, that is a start.

Be sure you take the new cat to the vet for a check-up if you haven't already. Even the best breeders' cats can have parasites and you don't want to introduce something to your first cat.

You haven't done anything terrible and with time and patience, it will be fine.

I think it is great that you adopted a retired queen. They need wonderful homes just like kittens and I know it is difficult as they get older. Both of my Bengals were/are retired girls! :)

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The little monsters 3

Just know that at some point, these kitties have to be brought together and face the music! You can't live your life with them being separated and you attempting to spend time with them individually. It's not good for the cats because they know the other kitty is there and cannot get to it. So, you've got to being the introduction face-to-face at some point, even if it's just for a short period of time. Feed them together, play with them together. It may take some time, but you should see an improvement after a few days and it should continue until these babies are snuggled up with one another sleeping!

I had trouble with my girl biting when I firs got her. At least for a year or so. Time outs / cessation of play / and even a spanking or two fixed that right up.

You should NEVER EVER hit a cat! Cats don't understand punishment for something they've done wrong. I really feel sorry for your kitty.

I think you're right in a lot of cases. I think I may have overused the quick spank as a tactic, but she doesn't bite people like a voracious killer any more. She was doing it for at least a year and at some point I didn't know what to do to stop it. I tried everything I could first before resorting to that but when she was biting me so hard it would hit a nerve I had to do something about it.

But back to the problem OP is having: I may have been too quick in my recommendation (thanks sherry for pointing that out), but for me and my girl there wasn't really much else to be done to fix the biting.

One cat behaviourist I spoke to said to use one finger and tap the cat on the head with biting as this is what another cat or mother cat would do to discipline for bad behaviour. I suppose I understand the thinking with that one as cats do bat each other with paws but hitting a cat would never sit well with me but a tap from a finger maybe??? I think it's good to try and use cat language with behavioural problems as we try and humanise cats and that never works. We all need to learn to speak 'cat'!

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Melissa

UK
Oscar - Rescue (Rascal!!!) Bengal

"Taps" come in different forms, too! What's a tap? A light touch, a snap like tap? As much as I want to strangle Raiden at times or swat his butt, I don't do it! I would never do it! He doesn't understand what I'm doing and I do not want him to fear me EVER! Thankfully, I've never had a problem with Raiden biting me. He has NEVER bitten me. He has this cry he makes when he is not happy with me, but I can reach down and pet him and he just continues walking (he only does it on our walks when I try to keep him out of someone's yard or I want him to get out of the middle of the road).