Hello everyone!

This is my first post here but I've been an anonymous reader for quite some time now.

We have a bengal boy named Leo, who is 6 years old but we got him at 3 years old. We are his second house as his previous owners purchased him because he was pretty, but they got tired of his energetic nature pretty quickly. His previous owner where a couple with 2 little chihuahua and a baby girl. We are a couple living alone in the top floor of a 4 building apartment complex, so he can't go outside. He his snipped and declawed (not our choice and pretty common here in Canada, unfortunately).

Leo was always pretty vocal and energetic, and he also really bonded with my husband, even if I am the primary caregiver, most of the time. He follows my husband everywhere, cry really loudly when he goes in the bathroom without him and close the door, cry for a while when DH leaves home and is always snuggled on his lap, near him, or at his feet at the bed. He vocalize alot when my husband talk to him. When I'm alone with him he is mostly sleeping or walking around or looking outside the windows.

We are coming back from vacations (8 days long and about a week ago) and he had someone take care of him at home everyday, play with him, give him food and water for around 2 hours everyday. However, he is crying and meowing louder than ever and acting weird since we are back home. Since we are home, about a week, we were not able to get a full night of sleep since he was meowing non stop for 2 am to 4 am. He is meowing all the time we are here, for not apparent reason, a lot more than he used to. As we are in an appartment complex, we are really worried that people will call the police as it sounds like we are torturing him or something.

Also, last night when my husband went to pee at 3h30am and got back to the bed, Leo attacked him pretty badly. He attacked his arms and pounced on his back and bit his arm enough to draw blood. I was scared and my husband was really scared too, as he have done that before with my husband legs, but not that much. He never, ever, attacked me. (I'm guessing it's play agression?)

We are trying to play more with him, at least 2x 15 minutes a day (I'm guessing it's really not enough, but before that we never wanted to play), he have plenty of toys laying around, and I will be buying him a cat tree and a aiku stimulo for his food, to help with his boredom. We will also be taking him to the vet to be sure, and I ordered Feliway. When I play with him, I play with him until we lay on the ground and don't want to play anymore. Should I do that a lot more often?

I read a lot about bengals and cats in general and we are loving him like a baby, and we want to do the best for him. What are we doing wrong? What can we do to stop the agressions before it gets worse and to stop the night meowing? We know that bengals are loving and loud and energetic, and we are really open to all that, but we would like to make him less bored. Should we get him another kitty friend (even if he's 6 years old?) What else can we do?

I used to leave my cats for the weekend fairly regularly, as my husband lived elsewhere for work and I would go stay with him. When I came back on Sunday evening, the cats were also noticeably more clingy and loud, one of them in particular.

I have gone away for 5 days twice, and the clingy-ness increased substantially when I came home after these breaks. One cat was irritatingly clingly for several days.

I will also mention that my two are not as strongly bonded to me as your cat is to your husband, and that they have the comfort of each other when I am gone, and they can go outside to entertain themselves.

So it may simply be that eight days away from your husband and you was a bit traumatic, and he's having a strong reaction. Maybe Leo just needs some time to settle. I would give him quite a bit more time before you consider making any serious changes like introducing another cat (which you can't guarantee he will be pleased about).

I agree that the 8-day separation was extremely stressful for Leo. I don't think people realize the effect it has on a kitty when the normal routine is broken. Time will heal this -- but it could take weeks. Separation anxiety is a real trauma in some cats. Having someone come in for 2 hours a day meant Leo was alone for 22 hours a day. That's a long time to a kitty cat, especially multiplying that by 8 days. I've left Raiden for 6 days and he was his old self immediately. But not all cats have that reaction. Try to get things back to the way they were before you left and Leo should come around in time. The increase in vocalization is telling you something ... he wasn't happy while you were gone.

I have never left my current kitties yet, but my last cat would howl and cry for a month after I picked her up from the "pet resort and spa." Normally she never made a sound. I think the other cats taught her how to cry. She was always extra clingy when we reunited.

I've just returned from 6 days holiday and Hendrix is a lot more vocal than he usually is and they've been quite clingy and not going far today. Last night Hendrix barely stopped meowing, even laying down he was having a good old chat. I did have my mum looking after them and she stayed at our house while we were away so their routine wasn't disrupted too much, and they were still not overly happy about it. They were pretty quiet while she stayed apparently and very subdued.

Separation anxiety is a very real problem. Give him time, I'm sure he will settle again, just give him extra love and playtime until he gets over it. He might be concerned you are going to go away again. I'm sure that's why my two keep coming in and checking where we are!

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Clare
Hendrix and Jagger, Brown Marble Boys (born 18 August 2013)
Hampshire, UK

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The little monsters 3

Hello everyone and thank you for all your answers!

Reading all of that made me understand that he was probably really not happy about us leaving. It's been 3 nights now that he didn't wake us up, so we were able to get some really needed sleep. I'm just really afraid about when the day will come that we will be leaving again, longer than 8 days. We both felt awful watching him crying non-stop and being restless, stressed about the fact that we might leave him again. I don't know what we will do if in 6 months or so we want to go in vacations again..

On another note, I was extra careful not to give him attention or more love or play when he was crying, waiting for him to stop meowing before giving him food, playing with him or snuggling, so we would not reinfore that behaviour. We played a lot more with him with a new toy too, so that helped. He would be loud before the play session but calmer after that.

How many time a day or how much time do you play with your bengals ?

Thought I might share some pictures of Leo in the same time :)

He's beautiful! Jagger is prone to getting up early and yowling, and I also ignore him and won't get up until he's gone quiet again to try to make sure that behaviour isn't enforced. He's become much better lately and last night was on my bed and didn't move until the alarm went off, so it does work!

Is there anyone who can stay at your place whilst you are on holiday as opposed to someone going in for just two hours a day? If not, it may be worth looking into a cat hotel for him. Bengals are very social so he may be happier at a cat hotel even though initially it will be stressful for him. It is tough, I found it hard leaving my two for the first time recently, but I'm very lucky that my mum will come and stay and look after them to try to avoid too much stress or routine change. They seemed to cope pretty well with it all, even though they were pretty vocal when we got back, making their displeasure clear!

I try to play with my two at least once a day, but they go out now and don't need so much play to use up their energy, I do it more to keep a strong bond.

I hope you find a way forward for future holidays as we all need a holiday every so often!

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Clare
Hendrix and Jagger, Brown Marble Boys (born 18 August 2013)
Hampshire, UK

Leo is beautiful! How could you leave that face?

Cats can be sensitive and don't want their routine disrupted. I imagine when we leave them longer than normal they may wonder if it's forever.

I play with my cats when I get home from work, then they go out on the patio and play until bed time. They come in one at a time to visit me for attention or a brush. Since there are two and I have a lot of toys for them, they play with each other constantly. They also go on the patio when I am getting ready for work in the morning. I don't go out after work because I know they are waiting patiently for me to feed them and let them out to play. I can't imagine leaving them…I am planning a 3 day trip in December and I am going to attempt to take them in the car with me. I think when they are a little older I will feel better about leaving them with a pet sitter. They are 15 months old and can still get into mischief.

I don't really play with mine at all. They play with each other, and sometimes entertain themselves outside.

I think you might just have to accept you'll have a clingy, yowling kitty when you come from holidays!

I've traveled once since I've gotten Raiden. I'd prefer not to leave him. I have a great pet sitter who would come by twice a day, but that won't be good enough for Raiden, so I board him at the vet, which he doesn't like. Hubby keeps talking about going away, but I'd rather not leave Raiden. He's my baby! Taking him along (as many people do) just wouldn't work. He's a handful most of the time and would not cooperate.

I also agree that the 8-day separation was extremely stressful for Leo. I don't think people realize the effect it has on a kitty when the normal routine is broken.

Next vacation, I would definitely recommend you board him. At least he will get attention during the day and won't feel so alone and isolated. One would never leave a child to have a sitter come in twice a day for an hour each to take care of him. Bengals are social cats! I've had other cats who could care less if I left them for a week. Raiden is different. He wants to be around us. I feel bad leaving him just to shop. And he doesn't not appear to have any separation anxiety!

Or ... have a friend or family member stay at your home the entire time. I think it's just unfair to leave him alone for 22 hours a day, times the 8 days. It's too much for him and you suffer when you return. He will calm down and return to normal, but that takes time.

I would board him at a cattery too.

My bengal doesn't like it when I go away, he becomes clingy and vocal when I return.

However twice now I have boarded both my cats at a cattery, once for 5 days and once for 4 weeks and both times they came home just fine. Sure, they didn't want to know me for 24 hours, but after that they were all over me like a rash. I found it worked much better.

Hi everyone!
Here's a little update after a while back home with Leo. He is much better now, he sleep all night with us without crying and he's active in the day and until around 10 pm like he used to, before we went away. He doesn't seem stressed or desperate anymore, eat and poop fine and is back to his old self. We have also made some changes for the best for him, bought him a stimulo for his food, and are in the process of buying a big cat tree, so I think that in fact, he is better now then before we left.

Next time we are leaving, we will definitively consider bringing him to a place where there's people to take care of him, OR bring my brother at our appartment so we can have someone actually living with him instead of just 2-3 hours a day. Maybe we will consider a Feliway plug in too to leave him with when we are leaving.


We are experiencing some play aggression (I think) from Leo, maybe once a week, but all-in-all, everything is good with our ''old'' boy and it's partly thanks to you all :)