Hi....I got a female Bengal kitten last month. She is 3 months old. I also have a 11 month old male Bombay. They are getting along well...they are always play-fighting ad they've become good friends. My question is....will my Bengal ever be affectionate towards me? She doesn't like to be petted, or picked up. She does not sleep with me. I'm wondering if the affection comes with age? I researched the breed before I got one and all the web sites said they are extremely affectionate but I am finding that this is not the case with my baby girl. Is it because I have another cat? She definitely prefers his company over mine!

Bengals show affection in different ways. Most are not lap cats. Most do not like to be picked up and held. You will find a few who love to snuggle. You will probably get head butts, rubbing around your legs -- but all cats do that. If your bengal was your only kitty, she would follow you around and want to be where you are at all times, including sleeping with you. But, she's made friends with your other kitty it seems that's who she wants to be with. It's great that she has bonded so well with your other kitty. Since you just recently got the kitty, she's still exploring her environment and settling in. Give her some more time and I think you'll see she'll come to appreciate you more. And if your other kitty sleeps with you, I'm sure your bengal will want to sleep with you as well.

My Dexter was very timid but the times he would jump up and show affection to me made that all the more special. I felt honoured that he trusted me so much to do this as he was obviously a very timid boy.

There's no guarantee with any cat what their personality will be but I am certain you will grow to appreciate your Bengal for who it is. Dexter was never a lap cat but in so many ways (the little affectionate looks he would give me, the rolling onto his tummy for tickles, the flopping himself down right at me feet and the never ending game of fetch) showed me much more affection than other cats I have had who simply just want to sit on you!

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Oscar and Jasper (or one ear and two ears as dh calls them) black rescue mogges

RIP my sweet baby Dexter, Snow Bengal 19/5/14 to 5/3/15 and my lovely dear old friend Muskey, Brown Burmese put to rest aged 15 on 14/11/15.

Debbie

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The little monsters 3

Thank you for your responses! I've been so busy I haven't even checked here. Everything everyone said makes sense to me. I appreciate your help. I'm going to go to that link that was advised.

I'm really glad I have two cats. I wanted to get only the one with beautiful markings, but they came as a pair. It turns out the one with nice markings is not very friendly. She would prefer to be on the screened in patio. I have to coax her in with food. She comes to me for affection, but in the middle of the night and she is rather rough, not sweet and loving like her sister.

Her sister also likes to be outside, but she constantly comes in to be with me. The sweet one stole my heart. She looks at me and little hearts float up from her eyes. The other cat is driven by instincts and cannot sit still for very long, she never could. I go out of my way to pet her because I know she needs it. It is great when she gives into my attention; she becomes like a kitten again for a moment or two. Then she springs away from me and is off and running.

Just goes to prove that cats have totally different personalities. Even from the same litter.

My Bengal is like that too! She is very affectionate towards my other cat but she runs from human attention (it's been a year and a half). As somewhat disappointed - and rejected - that I felt in the beginning about it, watching how happy my girls are with each other makes me happy. I accept that it's who she is and now feel grateful that they integrated so well considering their relationship is the 24/7 one...but I still sneak a few pets in when she's sleepy, muah ha ha.

Dee, it sounds like your kitty was not well socialized by the breeder. Bengals do tend to bond with one person or cat. However, bengals do love being with their humans. Be thankful your kitties get along great. That seems to be a common issue here on the forum. I hope you are interacting with your kitties by playing with them and not just letting the kitties play themselves out.

Hi Sherry, no worries there - I do interact daily with both of them and Da Bird is a definite hit - but I notice she breathes a bit heavier or tenses up if I get a little too close into her personal space. It's interesting that you mention the socialization. The breeder prided herself on the socialization of her kittens but by the time I got mine, there were only the 2 girls left and they seemed shy. Both parents were on site (separated from the kittens and each other) and were super friendly so I chalked it up to the fact that their siblings were being taken away one by one and it was probably stressing them out. I think you may be right though. She was 4 months when I got her, maybe the socialization focus was turned towards the newest litter and she lost some of her human trust.

Hi Dee, is she food motivated? When I was getting my rescue cat used to me I would put treats in a little trail on to my lap. He would eat them then jump off but sometimes he stayed! I know it's cheating but it does get them used to touching you!!!

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Melissa

UK
Oscar - Rescue (Rascal!!!) Bengal

Dee, at four months, the kittens were well beyond the socialization they get from their mom. It's really up to the humans to do the rest - but some cats are just shy -- just like people. You should be able to get her out of her shyness with play and continued interaction with you. Cats have different personalities as well. Sometimes you just have to go with the flow.

She either isn't food motivated or I just haven't found the right treat yet. Shy and finicky I guess!
Sheenasmom - I'm curious, how are you making out with your girl?

Not sure this helps, as Oberon isn't a definite Bengal (possibly a mix) but he is affectionate only on his terms. He hates to be held or restricted in anyway. He won't come and lay in your lap, but will come nuzzle you when he choses, always moving when he does. The only time he wants to cuddle is when I am asleep at night, then he lays down like a guard cat against the back of my knees.

The only person he purrs for is my husband, whom he crawls all over when ever he comes in the room, but again being held or even petted most of the time is a "no-no" he bashes his face into you and that's as much affection as he will give.