I completely sympathize... with your neighbor. You say that you don't want to hear negative comments because you are aware of your mistakes, but your subsequent posts illustrate that you really aren't. Look, you and your brother created an intolerable situation for your cat, and your cat ran away to a better home. That is the truth of it. You told your neighbor not to, but all you had to do, even then, was to provide her the home that she needed/wanted, but you didn't. Then you abandoned your cat and moved away. Game Over. Your neighbor took care of her, and bonded with her, let it be. Be gracious about it, and think about it from the standpoint of your cat. What would *you* want to have happen right now if you were in your cat's place? I think you are 100% wrong in what you are doing right now.

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The little monsters 3

If I could have moved my cat in with me in my college dorm room, I would have. I only recently was able to move her in with me.
Even though I asked for no negative comments, and you so graciously provides one- I appreciate your input. I pray someone never steals any of your cats...

I don't think Brian was being negative, merely showing the other point of view.

I did wonder when I read your initial post what conversations had taken place with the neighbour who had been caring for your cat all this time. You effectively allowed them to have ownership of her for years and have suddenly snatched her back now that it suits you. Yes, she will be happy with you now as there are no other cats in the household which was why your cat chose to live with your neighbours in the first place... But they obviously love her and gave her a good home when you couldn't, so some sort of discussion should have taken place before trapping her and taking her back.

It's a difficult situation and you say that you pray no-one steals one of your cats, but that is effectively what you have done to your neighbour. And did they steal her, really? She chose to live with them as they could offer a home where she was happy and comfortable when she clearly wasn't at your home.

I really hope you can come to some agreement with your neighbour, but I think this is a tough one to resolve where anyone will be 100% happy with the outcome.

As Brian said, if you were Ezra, what would you want? What is best for her?

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Clare
Hendrix and Jagger, Brown Marble Boys (born 18 August 2013)
Hampshire, UK

Wow this is not so cut and dry. What a shame this happened. I see both your points of view, but I think the last two comments bring some important points to light and I tend to agree hearing more of the story. I wouldn't want to take this to court if it were my cat. If it were not for these people, Ezra may not be around today. Of course they bonded with her and the cat must think of their place as home too. Ezra may really be missing them and her old routine. It may be confusing for her. If it were me, I would do some soul searching and bring Ezra back to the neighbors and thank them for taking care of her while you were in school. Ask them if they want to keep her and continue to care for her. Then I would start over with a new cat now that there is nothing preventing you from caring for a pet long term. I am so sorry this has happened and wish you luck in finding resolution.

I think this situation is going to leave someone heart broken regardless of the outcome but the one heart broken shouldn't be Ezra. She is an older cat and she needs what is best for her. I know you are new to being out on your own and you feel you can properly care for her now. The thing is if you can't afford legal advice how can you afford her senior vet care. She will without a doubt need medical attention to make her life easier in the coming years. Cats often develop rental issues in old age as well as a host of other problems that could pop up. The way I see it is the neighbors obviously care for Ezra or they wouldn't have already paid out $3000 in care for her. People also don't go around chipping other people's pets. They obviously feel she belongs with them and rightfully so. I know this is not what you want to hear and I TRULY feel sorry for you. I honestly think the best thing would be to go to them and have Ezra live out her life with her family. See if you can make arrangements to visit with her and explain to them how you feel. I am assuming here you are very young and just getting out into the world. Give yourself some time to figure things out and then start looking for a kitten/cat to bring into your home.

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Thank you all for your input.

Hello. I am new here, having recently adopted a 6 year old Bengal from a rescue. He is my first, although I've wanted one for some time.

I wondered how your situation has turned out? We are in a somewhat similar scenario. Late last summer, a black and white long-haired cat was hanging around our house. She was nervous and very skinny, so we thought she was a stray. After feeding her outside for a month or so, we let her in the house. Over a 4 month period, she settled in, got healthy, and stole our hearts. Suddenly, in late January, I saw a post on a community Facebook page with a photo of her. Turns out that she actually belongs to a lady who lives only about 100 yards from us. I contacted her immediately, as I would have been devastated if I'd lost my cat. She came and took her home and locked her in an upstairs room where I could see her in the window. I watched her there for 3 weeks. As soon as she was able to get away, she came back to our house. She'd pulled all the fur out under her chin, as far as she could reach. I was so upset!! I called the RSPCA and they checked into it. Apparently, the owner was getting her medical attention. I asked about rehoming her, but the lady doesn't want to give her up. The cat continues to prefer to live outside, in our back garden, than to go back to her owner. Since we had no possibility of keeping her, we went ahead with the adoption of our Bengal. The owner must know she is here but she's made no effort to check on her or come and get her. We've just settled on the idea that she is our "outdoor cat" as I won't let her inside any more. I would never claim ownership, but it seems pretty evident that the cat has decided she prefers to be here.

I can't say what I would do in your situation. I know how much our pets can mean to us, so it is certainly a difficult time for everyone involved. I was just curious as to how it was resolved. Take care.

This is a fairly old post and not sure the original poster will see your message. As for your situation, there is a saying that we do not choose our cats, they choose us and it seems this neighbor's cat prefers to be away from her home. My bengal lived just four doors down and he started spending a lot of time at my house where I gave him love and attention -- as well as food. I had never seen him before and I'm used to stray cats coming around. The neighbor finally gave Raiden to me as he traveled a lot with his job and his girlfriend didn't want to take care of Raiden, so now he's with me and my husband -- indoors, safe and sound. I'm guessing your stray is craving attention and bonding with a human, so I do hope you provide for her and make her life as happy as it can be.

I adopted a male kitten at 13weeks old and another shortly after that to be his partner. For the first eight years we lived in the country and the cats were indoor and outdoor cats. We moved and a stray kitten adopted us. My older cat did not like it so he moved out and left his mate of eight years. Six months later he found his way back into our neighborhood and clearly was trying to find his old home. A wonderful reunion took place. Fast forward... Eight years and two moves later were living in a new house and our cats are well acclimated to their new home and behaving like an old married couple at approximately 16 years old. The male cat started disappearing for a day or two at a time and each time he disappeared for longer and longer periods of time in between coming home. After a long two week period of missing he shows up at home with a new collar on. He always had my collar on him before. Someone had given him a female cat's name and collar. I called the number on the collar and asked the lady who answered if she had recently lost a black cat. She told me that yes, she had lost her girl kitty named Sally, that her cat was five years old and I discovered she lived across the street from me. I asked her several more questions about ownership and every one of her answers were lies. I had her come over to "get her cat" and she positively ID my cat as her beloved cat "Sally." At that point, I sprang it on her that her Sally was actually our "Nikko," and that he had lived with me and his cat spouse for 16 years and gone through four major moves with our family. Then she went on to tell me how she thought he was a feral cat, which was just crazy, and that she loved him and only he was allowed to sleep at the end of her bed each night. She told me she couldn't get him to go home if she tried. In the end, I decided to let my cat make his own mind up and he never returned home again. About four months later she informed me she was moving and that she had her/my cat in treatment for cancer and he was dying. She begged me to allow her to take him with her so she could continue to care for him. I agreed to her ownership reluctantly. Shortly after she moved there was major talk in the neighborhood about this woman having close to 30 cats living in cages in her dark garage that moved when she did. She had been putting out food for years and capturing cats unbeknownst to me. Ask me how allowing that woman to take ownership of my cat has haunted me ever since. When i went looking for a new kitten a year later I stumbled upon a wide networking of mostly woman in California who were doing exactly the same thing as this woman had. They believed that anyone who allowed their cat outside was not a good and caring owner and didn't deserve to own a cat. They also just happened to get a pretty big tax write off their "nonprofit home business," which was rescuing feral cats. They were only allowed somewhere between 25 to 30 cats maximum within one home. My guilt will never end.

Ginny, I'm sorry to hear of your story! There is no way I could ever give up my kitty -- period! And my kitty is not allowed outside unless he's on a harness and leash with me at the other end, especially since he's a bengal and the neighbors think he's the most beautiful kitty they've ever seen. I can't believe there was no way to turn this woman in with hoarding animals. Most are probably not taken care of.

You said that most of the cats this woman captured were probably not taken care off. Not in my neighborhood. Where I'm located I have not seen a stray or a lost pet in twelve years. Once in a while I see a poster for a missing animal, but I've not seen one cat without a collar. Nikko always wore his collar and she had seen it. In the beginning, he would disappear for a couple of days and each time he disappeared it lasted longer and longer. It wasn't until he was gone for a two-week period that he showed up with the a new collar. Other than his previous disappearance for a six-month period eight years before, he was a real homebody. After that experience he stuck closer to home than ever. No, she knew it belonged to someone and that is why she lied about his sex, age and her history with him. Regardless, someone has to be a nut case to set out food everyday for any animal to eat, especially in our area. People here take care of their animals and are very responsible for their welfare and you don't need to live here, but a day or two to realize that is a fact. This woman knew she was luring in animals that belonged to families who cared. Unfortunately, I myself was going through some heavy medical treatments at the time and I didn't have my normal wits about me when I allowed myself to be talked into believing her story of love for my cat. This was some type of non-profit tax scheme she was doing and I didn't understand until it was too late.

My neighborhood has several cats -- I don't know if they have homes or not, but they love to hang around my yard for the birds and to torment my Raiden. They look healthy and are probably just wandering, although we have rules that all cats and dogs must be confined to the lot on which the owner resides. A lady on the next street takes care of a lot of feral cats. Their home is their garage which they leave open just a bit so the cats can get in and out. I don't see those cats in my yard as they probably frequent the woods behind their house. Last I heard, she was up to 14 cats. We do have a problem with people just dropping off cats and hoping they find a home. I'm such a cat lover and really want to have them come over to me and pet them and give them some love that they may not be getting anywhere else. Now that I have a highly territorial bengal, I don't dare come in with another cat smell on my hands. We have a black and white cat that wants to be friends with Raiden and keeps coming closer until Raiden runs towards it, but the cat always comes back. I've got scars on both legs from getting attacked by other cats -- no more for me. They are painful and cost a fortune in medical bills.