I need help, I'm out of options

bkilgore · **Joined:** Mon Apr 30, 2012 2:19 pm **Posts:** 3302

My beautiful baby boy went to his new home today. The couple drove a total of 9 hours to come get him. They have already been sending me pictures of him exploring his safe room. It has been a very hard day for my husband and myself. It took us a long time to come to this decision and although it's incredibly hard we feel we made the right choice. I probably will not be on BCF as much as I normally am, it kind of a reminder that I failed my boy and it's not something I am going to get over soon. Everyone love your babies as much as you can. You don't realize how much you love something until it's gone!

Donna741 · **Joined:** Wed Feb 05, 2014 9:03 pm **Posts:** 1048

You didn't fail him at all, you did what you had to and as hard as it is to give him up you made that decision because you felt it was best for him. That's the best (and most selfless) thing you could do for him.

Tabitha · **Joined:** Sun Feb 02, 2014 8:11 pm **Posts:** 1196

I totally agree with Donna. You've taken the action that is best for Jasper in the long term and put your own feelings to one side to come to that decision. You definitely have not failed him.

SunnyChick · **Joined:** Thu Aug 22, 2013 10:36 am **Posts:** 139

Sorry to read this post, just wanted to send some hugs your way. xxx

bkilgore · **Joined:** Mon Apr 30, 2012 2:19 pm **Posts:** 3302

Thank you all for your support. I know deep down I did the best thing for him, especially after seeing pictures of him in his safe room last night! He is going to be one spoiled kitty! I, on the other hand, have never rehomed an animal for ANY reason. It's just hard on me to accept the fact that I couldn't provide the home he needed. No matter what I did there was nothing I could do to settle him. Unless of course I rehomed my kids!
He is already leaps and bounds ahead of where he was when I first got him. He was already out and enjoying his new cat tree. He was exploring the book shelves and letting his new owners pet him. When I first got him it took him at least a week to do all of that. Maybe I did help him some, he seems to be more confident than I ever thought he would be. Now the biggest problem I have is BB. She has looked endlessly for Jasper. She called for him all night, she has never been a vocal cat so that had to be it. She is running through the house looking around every corner like he is waiting to pounce on her. Every day they played hide and seek and now she is continuing the routine on her own. It's very sad and in a way I feel her pain. I don't want to humanize her but I honestly think she misses him!

junglerose · **Posted:** Tue Nov 11, 2014 1:22 am

brianj12 · **Posted:** Tue Nov 11, 2014 1:59 am

Sorry you had to go through this. It certainly sounds like you put in a great effort to make it work, and I think it's good that you shared this here. While I like to think that I can provide for my three more than adequately, and I like to think that I can work through whatever problems come up, it's difficult to foresee the future, and what their needs will be and what my ability to provide for those needs will be. So I think any one of us could be caught up in a similar circumstance.

I hope you stick around (the forum) and "double down" on BB, pour the grief that you have for losing Jasper into more love for her.

brianj12 · **Posted:** Tue Nov 11, 2014 2:08 am

bkilgore · **Joined:** Mon Apr 30, 2012 2:19 pm **Posts:** 3302

I know she misses him, a lot more than I thought she would actually. She was always looking after him and would run to his side when he was feeling stressed. I know I certainly miss him and his baby blues and his loud mouth lol. I just thought that with the right guidance, time, and patience it would all work out. Looking back at it now I wish I would have had the courage to make a change sooner. At least before he started to get extremely stressed. It's the what ifs that are playing over and over in my head. I was really scared to come on here to share this journey with Jasper. Everyone told me it would be hard and I was expecting some back lash. So thank you all for being so supportive and understanding. I gave his new owner the forum info and my username, hopefully he will join and share his journey as well. If not I will update everyone with his progress with his new life. I have already heard from them tonight and he is still out and about but shy. I just hope they give him time to develop into the cat he was with me when my kids weren't home!

Fenstar · **Posted:** Tue Nov 11, 2014 6:39 am

Oh Brandy, you've done the right thing and with time you'll realise it's okay.
Don't beat yourself up about it. Sometimes things just don't work out.
x

Eggman · **Joined:** Thu Aug 28, 2014 11:22 pm **Posts:** 730

I think you have done a totally selfless and amazing thing.

Loads of ((((hugs)))) to you.

amberkai · **Joined:** Thu Oct 17, 2013 3:22 am **Posts:** 166

Haven't been on here in a while and just saw this thread. So sorry that you had to rehome Jasper :( You can take pride knowing that you showed Jasper love and respect, and put his happiness first. You are very strong.

I hope your family and BB are starting to readjust to a new family dynamic. You should be proud for making sure your kitties have the best lives possible...I very much respect you for that!!

bkilgore · **Joined:** Mon Apr 30, 2012 2:19 pm **Posts:** 3302

Thank you so much, it has been rough and everything is slowly starting to get better. BB isn't nearly as clingy as she was and she is giving me room to actually breath now. We still miss Jasper terribly and I don't think that will ever go away. I haven't been on my laptop in a few weeks and had to use it today for school. I opened it up and Jasper picture is the first thing I see. I had about a 30 minute breakdown and cried my eyes out. Of course then my kids all joined me, it was a mess. My oldest son who is 6 started crying and said Mama I am sorry Jasper didn't like us. It broke my heart even more. I got an update on him Saturday and his new owner says he is the best cat ever. They ordered him da bird and a Lazer and said they have never heard such sounds or seen a cat play the way he does. His fur has almost grown back, you can see where he had pulled it but the marble pattern is visible again. It's just amazing to me how much he has improved already. I honestly feel bad for keeping the poor guy here as long as we did. I also got pictures of him laid out on his cat tree and on their built in shelves in their living room. Which is also amazing to me because when he was here he wouldnt jump up on places like that. He seems to have made himself at home and he is the king of his castle. Thanks for checking in and giving your kind words, all of you. This has been a hard journey for all of us and something I wouldn't wish upon anyone.

wildlifereflections · **Joined:** Wed Oct 23, 2013 2:34 am **Posts:** 350

It sounds like Jasper has a great home and is where he should be.

Donna741 · **Joined:** Wed Feb 05, 2014 9:03 pm **Posts:** 1048

It's so good to hear he's adjusting well to his new home.

I need help, I'm out of options

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