While I'm sorry that you had to rehome Jasper, it's great to hear he's doing so well. Best wishes to you and the family, and of course Jasper in his new home.

Thanks everyone. I think I am having a little trouble letting go. The new owners told me I could call or text anytime to check on him. I find myself wanting to text them all the time just to see how things are going. I know they keep telling me everything is well and they have sent pictures but for some reason I still don't feel reassured. How often is too often to check in or should I even check in?

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Hmm...it's really subjective, isn't it? If they seemed very welcoming and understanding, I'm sure texting them every so often wouldn't be a problem. Maybe once a week (ish) until you feel certain that Jasper is really doing well?

I'm sure they can understand your love for Jasper and that you need that reassurance that he will be okay. At the same time, you don't want to overwhelm the new owners with too many calls or texts--they are probably ecstatic with their new addition, and they want to focus on him :) I can imagine how tough it is, and I think it would be good for you (and them) to check in regularly until you feel confident that Jasper is happy and healthy in his new home. I could also see them understanding that you are checking in to make sure that this decision is for the better health of Jasper--if you don't check in, you won't know if this change has been positive for him. And the whole point of this change was to make sure that Jasper is a happy and healthy cat...everything he deserves!

Yes that is how I feel. It's like I have sent my kid off to college or something. I just want to make sure he is ok. I started off the first few days I would text close to night time to see if he was ok that day and if they had concerns about anything. I then went to every three days or so and now to Saturdays. I didn't text this last weekend and he just text me tonight. He sent me a picture of him asleep on his wife's lap. He looked very happy and comfy. He did however express concern over him eating so much. With him already being a little overweight he seemed concerned. So that made me feel better, at least he cares and has noticed he eats a lot.
I know this sounds horrible and my husband says I am crazy but when I got the picture tonight I lost it. It made me happy but broke my heart. He used to sleep on me like that and I miss it. I miss him head butting me and rolling on his back for tummy rubs. In a way it made me jealous and I don't know what to make of that. I guess I am still being selfish but I can't help it. Jasper was my cat and I was his world(other than food lol). I don't know if maybe it's just part of the process and something I have to feel to learn to let it go.

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This guy is sending you pics and asking questions about Jasper. Sounds like Jasper is loved very much.

I honestly think your feelings are all part of the process - in a way you are going through a relationship breakup. Small comfort to you at the moment I'm sure, but it sounds like you have found wonderful new parents for him and that he is doing really well. Children don't get any quieter as they grow up - we had my OH's nephew round recently who is late teens, but they always play X-Box and there is lots of shouting and cheering and my two really don't like the noise at all.

I think eventually you should leave it to them contacting you with updates or requests for advice/guidance - for your own sanity more than anything else. I know I would have reacted just like you to receiving a picture like that. You're not crazy at all.

I hope BB is continuing to settle into her new routine and that things get easier for you soon.

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Clare
Hendrix and Jagger, Brown Marble Boys (born 18 August 2013)
Hampshire, UK

Thanks Clare, I think I will let it be for now and if I haven't heard from them in a few weeks I will check on him. It's just hard and the adjustment to having one bengal is even harder. BB is getting back to herself but she is starting to "act out". She has been attacking me when I sleep again, which she hasn't done since she was kitten. Climbing the curtains and slinging litter seem to be her favorite things to do recently. I think she is just bored and doesn't have anyone to run with to drain her energy. I have had to throw out the cats trees because Jasper peed all over the bases so I have ordered new ones. They should be here this weekend. I am hoping that gives her something to occupy herself. If not we will find something to tire her. Do bird just doesn't get her exhausted anymore.

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