Hey! Wish this didn't have to be my first post. :( I have a conundrum.
So I just moved into a cat-friendly apartment, and bonded with a sweet female Bengal, Tilly, who was having family issues at home and had just been diagnosed with FIV. She came home with me and felt at home immediately, no anxiety at all, just a happy little bug.
Then we discovered that my boyfriend is deathly allergic to her. And I do mean deathly. He knew he was mildly allergic to cats - but eight hours around Tilly put him in the hospital with severe asthma. I had switched her diet hoping to mitigate the dander, but since he's on the lease and moving in, we couldn't wait the month or so for her coat to shine up in case that magically fixed the problem.

So, we had to move her. She's staying with a friend who's giving her a great home. Unfortunately, she's miserable.

Fast forward several days and Tilly has SEVERE separation anxiety. At first amiable to the new people, she pooped on the bed, scattered her food, tore out her hair, and booked it through a hole in the screen. I came to help find her and she came to me immediately, attached herself like velcro to my lap, and wouldn't calm for about five hours. I'm her person now.

I desperately want to take her home with me, but I'm stuck between poisoning the boyfriend, leaving her miserable in the new place, or trying to rehome her -again-. And her original family won't return my calls, they've effectively bailed on me. I need to fix the allergies or the anxiety and that's it.

What I am currently doing:
-leaving my smelly clothes with her
-giving her some "calming" stress-relief treats
-visiting as much as conflicting schedules allow
-???

I know this is my fault and I feel awful. It breaks my heart that this little girl is so stressed. I wish I'd known about the allergy problem or I wouldn't have taken her home. :( It was suggested that I ask some Bengal owners for advice, so here I am! Any suggestions?? :I

Some people on here have children with allergies, who can get shots for it. Others simply take antihistamines.

Personally, well done on taking this lady in, and don't give up the good work. You are clearly who she needs to be with. Can your bf stay somewhere else until she has been cleaned up and is back to 'normal' Bengal condition? It may only take a week or two if she has settled and calmed, as her stress will be having a big impact on her symptoms.

What has your vet said? Can he give you some wipes to help lessen the dander from her coat for a time? A damp chamoise leather is also good for doing this, and it reduces the odd smells from the coat.

Alternatively, can you stay at your friends for a couple weeks while your bf settles into the flat and you look for the solution to make this work?

I personally would say to heck with it, and find somewhere to be crazy cat lady on my own, if it doesn't improve with your bf.... Poisoning is a bit extreme if a cat allergy is his only problem!

Thanks for the suggestions. :) it's all been happening so fast it's hard to tell what just needs more time and what just isn't working. My bf actually has been getting allergy shots for a couple of years - but what they -didn't- tell him until just now is that they've been cutting his "cat" dose in HALF because he's just that bad. We're looking into a potential gluten allergy being the root of some other issues including the inflammation that goes with the asthma. When she was living with me, I was wiping her down frequently and mopping twice daily, but it's been really hot + stress of moving so she's still just dumping fur like crazy. I keep hoping there's a chance to mitigate some of these problems and live happily ever after but....we'll see. ;_;

Believe me, the crazy cat lady idea has never been more tempting. I just wanna bundle Tilly up and head for the hills. :p asdgdgbcvf.

I have a dear friend who is allergic to cats and has had a cat for years. She takes the allergy shots and has no problem. She sends me pictures of Dustin laying in her lap. The one thing you need to do is make sure the house is vacuumed and get all the dust up, which should help with the dander. My Raiden doesn't shed very much at all, except the winter coat in the spring time. You can also brush your kitty to keep the shedding down.

As for the separation anxiety, it is very possible. The kitten bonded to you and being taken away has depressed and stressed her out. There are holistic things you can put in the food to help the cat with anxiety and stress. I think you've really got a lot going on -- but the kitty needs a stable environment.

It is possible to live happily, but you definitely do not want your boyfriend to be miserable! Nobody understands what it's like to have an allergy unless you have one. It would have to be completely controlled. Unfortunately, many bengals like to sleep with you, which could cause some problems.

It's a tough choice. Your kitty loves you and wants to be with you. You want to obviously be with your boyfriend. How does the BF feel about all this and having to change his life? Everyone will have to work together and make the commitment to live happily ever after. I feel badly for everyone here. And you're in the middle of it all. Good luck.

If the cat is giving him enough of a reaction that he had an asthma attack, you need to be very careful. If he is getting a half dose of cat allergy serum, his allergy is quite severe. I would ask him to find out if he was tested for dander or saliva because that can be two separate allergies. As upset as the cat is, is your boyfriends health really worth the cat? She can and will bond to another person, you just may have to put in some work finding one.

Allergies are no joke, a bad enough reaction can kill you. I have a melon allergy and was taken to the ER as a child because my throat and mouth were swelling shut. Words can't describe how frightening it was and how lucky I was my mom realized what was happening.

I wish I had better comments, but I have both severe allergies and cats, so I felt I should comment. Good luck.

This article appeared in my Facebook feed. Great reading. I think it may help you.

http://jacksongalaxy.com/2014/08/28/all ... ic-to-cats