My baby is really no "baby", I was making inquiries to purchase a Bengal kitten and had spoken to around 7 catteries. It turned out that. Two of them knew one another. Long story short, after an extensive interview, the owners of the two catteries proposed I was a good candidate to a adopt an adolescent they had wanted to keep in their breeding program because his markings are so beautiful and he carried no genetic faults...as they watched him mature, they saw him becoming a little too shy to breed and so they needed to find him a home as a "grown up" cate (even though Bengals don't fully mature until age 3).

They proposed I was a good candidate to take him because I have had extensive experience "rescuing" adult cats who had been abandoned and abused and have turned them into wonderful, social animals and companions. I even had three years experience trying to socialize a cat who was half bob-cat (a natural occurrence that should never be encouraged). After three years my poor baby ended up only being able to love and tolerate me, so I had to put her down, it was one of the worst tragedies of my life because, my little bob cat mix was very sweet and gentle, but only to me. Watching her descend into feral behavior was heartbreaking.

Anyway, I digress...so the owners of the catteries are looking for a good, solid, patient cat-person to bring their beautiful Tom back from the brink of feral shyness, so he can have a happy social life-experience. They are neutering him this week and hope to get him to me within 10 days. They have assured me he hasn't been used even once to breed and has not begun actively spraying (as the males tend to spray constantly once they have been used to breed).

My concern is that I handle him gently and affectionately, yet also firmly to give him the comfort of a "mother/matriarch", so that he will be able to come out of the shell he was beginning to put around himself. I would really appreciate any tips from others who have had success bringing Bengals out of their shyness. Thanks so much.

To start with, begin with having him in a 'safe' room by himself, somewhere he can be comfortable and has hiding spaces if he needs them. That space should have all his requirements in it, food, water, litterbox, comforts.

You can come into this space and spend time with him. If he is not interested in you/is hiding, just sit and read or play on a laptop/tablet/phone, so that he gets used to you and your smell. Let him be curious if he wants to be, don't ever force yourself upon him. Spend as much time on the floor as you can, down at his level. Talk to him or read out loud so he gets used to your voice.

If he shows interest in you, have some treats with you or some toys and see if he will engage with these.

You need to go at his pace. If he's wanting to take his time then so do you. It's about gaining his trust and him getting used to a whole new environment with new sounds sights and smells.

He will come out of his shell, it may happen quicker than you think, or it may take weeks. But whatever happens you work to his timetable, not your own. Never force yourself upon him, this will increase his distrust in you.

My boy was terribly shy (he's an ex breeder) when I got him. I was worried that he would never be a cat that liked to be around me. It took him a few weeks, but he did come out of his shell. Now he's a complete affectionate fool. Love him to bits.

Good luck, it will be worth it.

My boy was also two and a breeder when I got him. He was shy and scared of his own shadow when we took him in. Like Fenstar said, slow and steady wins the race. My boy will do anything for food, see if yours is food motivated as well. It didnt take Jasper long to realize I was the source of food and after a week he started to come out to greet me but as soon as he ate he was back to hiding. After another week or so he started coming out for attention and to play. He has been a handful and it has taken a lot of time for him to become the cat he is now. He is well worth all of the effort, he is now he sweetest boy ever and he is my little shadow. Where ever I go he tags along, if I got outside he sits at the door and waits for me to come in. He is my heart cat and I love him dearly.

ETA: make sure you have a cat tree for him in his safe room as well as the same type of litter box, litter, and food the breeder has. Another thing that helped me and Jasper were the feliway diffusers and most importantly interactive toys like da bird.

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The little monsters 3

You've been given some terrific advice. It sounds like you'd be perfect to take on this challenge. You understand what's involved and you've done this before. My heart goes out to this little guy. I know you can give him the time and love that this transformation will require. I hope you decide to take him and work with him. I think it will be so rewarding for both of you. Please keep us informed.

Thanks for all the advice! I especially find the cat tree, same type of litter box and litter, and treats are wonderful tools I hadn't fully considered and seem very important now.

I totally adore cats; talking to them in their language and really trying to meet them on their level to provide a safe and comforting home life. Cats are terribly under rated as companion animals, but must be given the space they need to be themselves; while also given firm boundaries to protect them from themselves.

Adopting a Bengal is a real dream come true for me. My daughter's pet Italian Greyhound (ironically a cat-like dog) passed away from a congenital issue about 18 months ago and we all needed time to grieve his passing. I have had extensive experience rescuing adult abused and neglected cats throughout my life, but all that was put on-hold when my daughter got her IT.

Now that she has grown up and moved out, I can finally get the pet of my choice ( although I loved our IT so much, his loss was devastating). I love the idea of having cat conversations, playing fetch and with d'bird, going for walks, and swimming in our pool...I pray he loves us as much as we are willing to love him. Time and patience....time and patience, I keep telling myself not to expect too much, too soon.

Obviously, with my experience with my half bob-cat, I have spent hours and hours in a quiet room waiting for her to approach me. The problem with that mixed breed is bob-cats are terribly aggressive and she really had no chance. Although she grew to love and trust me, she was terribly aggressive and routinely stalked other members of the family. Around her third birthday, she became dangerous and attacked my youngest child (now grown) by jumping on her face and biting at her neck.My heart breaks for my kitty. After that final attack, I had no choice in the matter.

I will patiently wait for my Bengal to come to me and ask for attention. Once he makes that choice, I know the victory will eventually be ours, together as a family. We may have set-backs, but as long as he tries, I will never quit trying, so eventually he will be happy and adjusted. I can't wait :)

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The little monsters 3

I am sorry you felt the need to put down your hybrid cat as it was only good to you, as bonding with one person/animal is actually a common trait in many hybrids and would have been totally expected actually. :(

What generation is this boy? I know that male Bengals are not fertile unless they are F4-5 but some breeders will keep F2+ males in the hope they can get some kittens and when that doesn't turn out, they will rehome as pets. If he is an EG(early generation) then that may explain some of his shyness, but sometimes "Wild cat" shyness can extend into later generation Bengals too.

If he is a later generation ie F6+, then why is this Bengal so shy? Was it because he was housed on his own perhaps without human company, or is it a fundamental personality trait? Was he a shy kitten or has he grown up to be shy?

What form does the shyness take? Has he bonded with one person/cat perhaps? Is he aggressive with it, or does his shyness just mean he runs away all the time? Is he at all handleable? Is it possible to stroke him even?

My bob cat hybrid was attacking people and our vet said she would only get more feral. With young children in the home I had no choice. I had even gone to several people who rescue cats and they would not take her. As I said it was one of the great tragedies of my life.

Regarding my Bengal, he is an F5 and his parents and siblings have been award winning show cats, so this trait was a surprise to his breeders because they were hoping to breed him due to his great parental heritage and markings. I was told (who knows the whole truth, for sure, though) that he was raised in a home and handled a lot as a kitten. He showed no sign of shyness until he was moved from his original home to the breeder I am buying him from. I was told that at his second home he was kept indoors and continued interacting with people, but the more he advanced toward sexual maturity, the more he began to demonstrate shyness.

His presentation of shyness is mostly a desire not to be touched (he flinches and sometimes runs away). The breeder he is with believes once he is neutered and placed in a forever home he will return to his earlier personality traits of being friendly, playful and having a desire to interact with humans (as he was prior to his move to the current home he is in).

The breeder says he can not take the chance that he might be regressing and isn't comfortable breeding him, so it is a bit of a gamble on my part, this is why I am on this forum trying to get tips. We have already started scent swapping clothes from my family mixed in with his bedding and some of his used bedding sent to my home, where I am moving it around from room to room and will have it waiting for him in his safe room when he arrives.

Any other tips?

His life in your home as a pet will be much different than being in a breeders home with many cats and possibly strangers coming and going. Some cats don't enjoy being in a crowd and there is probably a lot of activity going on at a breeder.

I would keep him confined to one room initially and spend bits of time throughout the day with him. If he likes treats, bring him a treat or two every time you go into the room, if he likes toys, use that as a bridge. Spend time in the room with him reading to him or talking to him with no expectation of touching or petting unless he comes to you. It is important for your children to do that too so he has an opportunity to observe them and get used to them as well. Patience and time is key. One of mine was/is very shy and another was very aggressive about being touched. With both patience was the key.

My Bengal is a retired queen and she was "shy" according to her breeder. While I don't disagree with that assessment, i see that she is more interested in doing her own thing most of the time that shy. If you aren't her chosen activity, she disregards you, shys away from pets, and goes about her business. She also watches for a while before she dives in to an activity or a group of people.

It is fantastic that you are willing to take an older cat. In my experience older cats take a bit longer to fall in love with you, but once they do all the time and work becomes worth it.

I really appreciate the helpful tips. The tree and the isolation followed by reading and visits into the safe room. Scent swapping and human-aloofness (to induce curiosity), all wonderful tips, thank you so much.

We will be getting our little man in about two weeks or less. We have no other pets and don't plan to get any, so if it was the other animals that were making him skiddish , hopefully, we won't have much trouble getting him out of his shell. Like, I said, I have worked with abused and neglected adult cats before with great success, so the breed specific tips will be such a help, I am sure. Thanks again.

Please keep us posted on how things go for you. Congratulations and good luck! If anyone can help the little man, it's YOU!