Really hoping someone can give me a bit if guidance please.
Yesterday we bought Millie the 18 month old sister to our little boy Percy home as the breeders contacted us saying as we have Percy would we take Millie as they needed to rehome her.
We jumped at the chance of reuniting Percy with his sister from the same litter.
I was rather worried about how he would react to a new cat coming into his home but he was absolutely brilliant. Not cross or territorial at all.
She on the other hand hissed and spat from the minute she saw Percy so we took her upstairs to her own room to try and settle her. She has since refused to come out from on top of the wardrobe in a box of scarves, and hisses if we go anywhere near her. Percy hasn't been in there but I slept in the room with her last night to try and help her settle.
She is still on top of the wardrobe (apart from when I heard her eating at three this morning) and I know it will take time for her to adjust but as she won't budge I wondered if I am doing it right?
I just want her to feel safe and happy.
I have the next two weeks off to help them get used to each other but I worry the way she is if that's even long enough!
Any advise would be do greatly received.

Hannah xxx

You made the error of assuming things would be all sunny because they're siblings.
If they've been apart you need to start from scratch and do the intros and all that stuff from the beginning.

So, safe room, isolation, scent swapping, gradual introductions at their pace. Most of all you need patience.

Good luck

I think there are several things that need to happen:

1. She needs to be convinced that you are not a threat to her and not going to hurt her (so no, please don't yank her out of her hiding place as that would be a big step in the wrong direction)

2. She needs to know that you are actually a potential friend and provider

3. She needs to get used to your scent/appearance and her new surroundings.

4. She needs to get used to new food/litterbox etc

5. Only after those things are taken care of should you worry about working on cat introductions.

I think basically you want to give her some "alone time", making her room as nice as possible for her. Places to hide, places to sleep, places to climb and play, ample food that she likes, water and litterbox etc. And then also just spend some time in her room reading or watching tv or whatever. I would definitely keep trying to tempt her with both treats and play (with a d'bird or something similar). But try to keep everything positive.

Oh, and I think you should actually be pretty optimistic about the whole thing, since often the hardest hurdle is convincing an adult resident cat that it's not the end of the world and he's not being replaced by the newcomer, and it sounds like that may not be a problem for you. So I would actually look at this, in balance, as a pretty positive start.

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The little monsters 3

I know how excited you must have been to take Millie and provide her with a loving home. Just remember, YOU are new to her. Your home is new to her. She's scared out of her wits and it will take some time for her to adjust. I think we expect to open the pet carrier and the pet immediately acclimates to the new surroundings and that just doesn't happen in most cases. As Millie gains her confidence, she will come out, but it needs to really be on her terms. Percy will just have to wait for his sister. I doubt they remember they are even siblings. Hang in there. Take things slow and follow the suggestions that have been presented in the posts above. Everything will work out in the end.

You can spend time in the room with her but not trying to engage her. Read, surf the internet, talk to her about the news, etc. A few days of that and they are generally up in your face for pets and attention.

Brian gave you a great checklist to keep in mind. It can take a few days or even weeks to get comfortable in her new surroundings before she will be ready for introductions. Her bond with you should really take priority over getting her bonded with the other cat. If she is eating and using the litter box, she is doing great for only a day or two in to living with you!

Did the breeder alert you to any behavior issues (shyness, aggression, etc.)?

I agree you have some great advice to read here.
My 2p is mainly to reiterate that them being siblings will not really make any difference now - they wont remember or recognise one another from their litter days.
So move forwards slowly as you would for introducing two stranger adult cats.
Lots of sent swapping (bedding blankets are great for swapping scent) and shared yummy mealtimes (either side of a door progressing to same room and eventually same corner in a room)

There is going to be a 'novelty factor' for your resident boy ... this will wear off and once ''play'' begins between them the level of aggression and frequency and manner of their rough play must be carefully observed for any fear or distress from either cat.
Its common for the new cat to accept rough housing and hide its fear when actually its confused still... ''Am I being attacked or what?'' fear and flight will be picked up by the other cat and this can trigger a real problem with constant stalking/fighting that isnt fun for them both and will really slow down your introduction progress.

At some point one will want to be dominant and most likely your resident boy ... its better if he can achieve (in his mind) the top cat spot with the minimum rough housing required... you can boost your boys territory ownership and ''position'' by adding a tree and praising him lots whenever he is up high on something.
I suggest that your new girls safe room be OUT OF BOUNDS for your boy ... enforced (calmly without drama) by you... make it clear to your boy that YOU are denying him ownership of your girls safe room and will step in to remove him/block access always... even during calm times its prolly best to establish in both cats that your boy isnt allowed to enter your girls safe room... it will serve to relax her and keep her safe room feeling safe until she doesnt need it anymore.

A common mistake to avoid is ending the introduction period too quickly when things appear to be all well and successfully completed.
Any upset go back a step in your process until peace is restored and then move forwards again gradually.

Please do update us on how its going... any piccies would be lovely too.

Oh.. and ya, Start with introducing rooms and humans until those are established before starting cat introductions... including having your girl tolerant to touch and being picked up by her humans is useful.
Allowing your new girl to explore and gain confidence gradually will require some effort to keep them separate behind closed doors as you work your way around the home so will be a little restricting on your boy for a while... but everyone has to adjust and adapt to your new family member right?
Good luck

Thank you so much for the advice. I am really trying to get her comfortable with her safe room and surroundings first, and myself and other half and keep Percy out.
I'm feeding them either side of the door and now both growl at the other. I let Percy in the safe room when she is exploring and he is sniffing everywhere where as she is stinky only just venturing down stairs and then runs back up.
He has managed to get into the the room and she just stands up higher and hisses and spits and he doesn't hiss back.
I just can't see how she is ever going to tolerate him as she is still so hissy at us.
The people who have her to us didn't mention aggression, they just basically said three was too much but i cannot see any improvement in her and he seems to be less cheery than before.
I know it has only been a couple of days and I desperately want this to work and I am commuted to trying but generally (and I know each case is different) should she be calming a little but by now?

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In my experience it can take weeks/months for an adult cat to settle. Jasper was two when we got him and by week 2 he allowed us to pet him. Months 2-5 BB and Jasper stopped hissing and spitting at each other, months 5-8 they began to lay together and started to play with each other on a daily basis. From 8 months until now (a little over a year) they sleep, play, eat together and groom one another occasionally. Jasper still gets in his moods where he will hiss at someone (mostly my children) but it took him about 3-4 months to start showing signs of trust with us. He has never been aggressive but he was extremely fearful and we are still working on that. It takes time, but she will come around! Lucky for me Jasper was really motivated by food. Once I found what made him happy he started to look forward to me coming to see him, he has just recently insisted on attention. He loves being loved on but would never seek attention from us until the last couple of months.

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I will do. I just feel awful that she seems so scared and that he is getting frustrated. I don't want either of them to be unhappy :-(
Thank you so much I will keep at it. No more visits from the little man until she is ready...
One final question (for now) how will I know when she is ready???

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The little monsters 3

Regarding when they are ready...

1. When she is comfortable with you getting pets and touches. You need to be able to handle her a bit in case she gets hurt or ill.
2. When he is totally not interested in her being in that room. At that point he gets that there is a new cat and doesn't really see her being a threat in that room.

Try to get her engaged in treats, plays, or just being used to your presence or voice. It takes time. Depending on how shy or scared she is, it may be weeks. I don't think comparing her as an adult cat to her brother as a kitten is a fair comparison, it will probably take her longer to come around. It is worth it though, they love you just as much and drive you just as crazy.

Then you can crack the door a bit so they can see each other and sniff and whatnot for a minute or two a few times a day. When swapping territory I generally limit it a single room swap, the whole house is often too overwhelming for most cats.

You said she is stinky - if her poo is particularly pungent, it may be worth taking a sample in to the vet to test for parasites. They are common and it is best to take care of that when they are still totally separated.