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PostPosted: Fri Mar 22, 2013 12:06 am 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Thu Mar 07, 2013 4:11 am
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Location: Cairns, QLD, Australia
I know I ask a million and one questions on here but I guess the knowledge of a bengal/pet/baby is never ending! (for me).

I've had Django about a month or so, he's about 4 months old... and he's never really been affectionate. Is this a kitten thing? A Bengal kitten thing.. he doesnt like me or is he just independant and will never want to cuddle me?

Wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience. I know there is know way to actually tell but I guess I just want some feedback.

If I watch TV on the couch he will sit up top of the couch and sleep. He'll sleep under the bed instead of with me. He's never slept in his bed even though I have provided him with beds he seems to prefer the ground or something uncomfortable!

I live in a really hot tropical climate, not sure whether this has anything to do with it...

The morning is the only time he will hop in bed, purr, headbut and knead me..
I have a friend living with me who has been home (without a job) and I worry he may have bonded with her. (I do all the feeding and cleaning).

I dunno maybe i'm just being silly and paranoid... :question: :exclaim: :sad: :redface:

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 22, 2013 12:23 am 
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Asian Leopard Cat
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It can be very common at some stages of kitten and cat lives to be like this. I believe the Bengal breed can be more 'stand-off-ish' than some other breeds.

Points to consider, at the moment he is a kitten and things can be FAR TOO interesting to sit still and be cuddled :rolleyes:

Ask the friend what he is like when you are at work?

Find something you can bond with him over... like training which i think you are going to do... or treats which can be a bit of both really.

You could leave something of yours for him to lie on so he is used to you smell being a comfort.

Cats rarely like beds that cost you money :rolleyes: :lol: unless it was not intended for them in the first place!

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 22, 2013 12:29 am 
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Asian Leopard Cat

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Location: Cairns, QLD, Australia
Mmmmm a bit like toys... he seems to love anything I DIDN'T buy!!!

Apparently when I'm at work he sits on the bed, sleeps, but also has his psycho modes!

I think he is just hypo maybe.. he can barely get into a deep sleep, so many things to do!!

I am going to start (trying) to train this weekend!

He gets lots of treats :lol: :surprised: of coarse! :P

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 22, 2013 6:23 am 
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Asian Leopard Cat
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Location: Portland Oregon, USA
jaz&django wrote:
I
I've had Django about a month or so, he's about 4 months old... and he's never really been affectionate. Is this a kitten thing? A Bengal kitten thing.. he doesnt like me or is he just independant and will never want to cuddle me?

I think it's a mistake to necessarily think of it in those terms. For example, I have the two extremes. I have Neytiri who is perhaps the cuddliest cat I've ever seen. And Serafina, easily the silliest and most playful cat I've ever seen. Does that mean that my bond with Neytiri is tighter? Or that she likes me more? Of course not. It's just that they express it differently. Also, room temperature does have a very big impact on cuddliness, but it's not like they stop liking you in the summer right?

That said though, you can definitely stack the odds in your favor. Like in the winter I have a heated blanked on my bed for them, and they get treats right before bedtime on their blanket. You could similarly reward your cat for, say, climbing on your lap when you are sitting etc.

As far as cat beds, hmm, that's odd, because all the cats that I've had have liked cat beds real well. But I think for cats, it's location, location, location. Neytiri's favorite spot to sleep (besides on the bed) is in a hooded cat bed on top of a tall cat tree. For Serafina, it's on a cat bed on top of a bookshelf. For Gaga, it's a round bed on a perch on one of the cat trees etc. And I think their second and third favorite places to sleep are also all cat beds too.

Two things though: I always let the cats "discover" those beds. I never pick them up and put them in one, because that's a "punishment" rather than a discovery. The other thing is that most of the beds I put very high up. Places that are somewhat challenging to get to, and offer a "view". And if your cat is not liking it, try a different location! And sprinkling in a little catnip doesn't hurt either :lol:

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 22, 2013 6:33 am 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Thu Mar 07, 2013 4:11 am
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Location: Cairns, QLD, Australia
Thanks! Might be a good idea with the location thing. Might try moving them around!

The treats on the bed is a good idea too! I will try that.

I suppose I didn't really mean he 'doesn't like me' but I suppose I feel most loved when anyone or anything is being affectionate!!!

I'm sure he'll come around, he just really is constantly moving and interested in something, there's no time for cuddles!

He does rub me when I get home and chirp and say hello!

I'm probably over reacting!

I don't think I should have children.... way too obsessed and over the top with my cat!!!!!! haha.

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 22, 2013 3:37 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat
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Don't worry I have four kids and things are different with cats! I worry about everything with them, but kids can talk :wink: one day! As far as being cuddly. BB was not cuddly at all when she was a tiny baby! It wasnt until she was about 9-10 months old that she started seeking me or my son out! She now doesn't pass up on an empty lap if she is ready for a nap!As far as being held,haha, you can forget that! She HATES it! She don't squirm or scratch but she will take her front paws and PUSH away as hard as she can.Another tip would be, when you are holding him dont let him down until he relaxes. As soon as he stops fighting put him down. That way he associates being calm gets him what he wants, not having a tantrum.

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 24, 2013 1:23 am 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Sun Jul 26, 2009 7:20 pm
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Location: Colorado, USA
My Mia May was a lot like that the first few months she came to us. She slept under the bed or downstairs most nights in her favorite beds (if I moved said favorite beds to MY bed at night, she would just sleep on top of the cat tree instead....grumble).

But like Django, she always came up to say good morning, and if she was hungry she was SUPER lovey, lol. Food fiend.

As we headed into our first winter though, she started sneaking up to our bed more, and every once in awhile sliding onto a fuzzy blanket I used while sitting on the couch in the winter. By the time she was a year old she was sleeping most of the nights with me. Now that she is two, she still spends some nights down in her favorite bed especially when it is warm in the house, but usually when I wake up in the AM she is snuggled up with me, sometimes asking to get under the covers. As soon as I get out the blanket while on the couch she runs over and stares me down to make my lap comfortable for her, LOL.

My boy cats in the house, well, they will sleep with me EVERY opportunity they get. Sometimes I prefer Mia's attention, makes me feel special at times, lol. :)

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 24, 2013 3:46 am 
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Our guy didn't get into sitting on laps or even curling up against someone for an afternoon nap until he was 3, and only then it would need to be winter for it to happen. He's 4 now, and he'll hop on up to the lap a few times a night, but usually won't stay for too long unless he's getting some good brushing, or the very occasional nap. I can get him to lie next to me on the bed sometimes for a nice nap, but I pretty much have to initiate it by pulling him into me. Once he's there, he'll stay, but he rarely initiates this contact himself.

For the first few years, Zeuss pretty much only wanted to do stuff while he was around humans. People = action in his world. There was no real neutral, zeuss was either playing or exploring or trying to make something happen, or he was napping alone in one of his places. These days, we get a little bit more of the classic lap cat experience, but the bulk of our affection is still definitely shown during playtime and various games of chase.


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 24, 2013 11:45 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Thu Mar 07, 2013 4:11 am
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Location: Cairns, QLD, Australia
Thanks for the stories guys! Love to hear everyone's experiences! As I post threads, things change before I finish getting replies!
He was great this weekend, curling up on the couch with me, having a nap together in the morning, always trying to hold my hand when he sleeps, very cute!

He lets me carry him around no problem (for a little while) which is pretty cute too!

I just love him to pieces and have no doubt that everything will be amazing for us together, but still great to hear everyone's feedback, advice & stories :razz:

Addicted to Bengals & this forum :) Thank you everyone. :biggrin:

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 25, 2013 9:37 am 
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Asian Leopard Cat
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Location: Melbourne, Australia
Alex hates sitting on laps and will not be held for more than a split second.

That said he is the most stupidly affectionate cat I've ever owned. He loooooves pats and if I'm sat on the couch and he's ready he'll wedge himself next to me. Same goes for the bed, he generally likes to curl up next to my stomach (I sleep on my side). He will kneed the doona silly and demand pats and fuss before we go to sleep.

So don't despair, Django will change as he matures.

Actually, there is ONE time Alex will sit on my lap and that is if Tamika is on there. He gets insanely jealous and has to insert himself into the equation. It's pathetic and hilarious at the same time :laugh2:


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 25, 2013 10:44 am 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Tue Jan 01, 2013 2:01 am
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Location: South Australia
Fenstar wrote:
Actually, there is ONE time Alex will sit on my lap and that is if Tamika is on there. He gets insanely jealous and has to insert himself into the equation. It's pathetic and hilarious at the same time :laugh2:

That made me laugh, our dog is the green eyed monster in this house :rolleyes: But I have noticed that when I am patting Cinder, Neko is quick to come over, complain and ask for pats :lol: We have a real mix, they will sleep on our laps, but generally only when we pick them up. But sleep on our beds every now and then at night. I know they love attention, it will increase I am sure

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 26, 2013 12:07 am 
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Asian Leopard Cat

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Location: Cairns, QLD, Australia
Cats are so funny! Absolutely endless amounts of intrigue & entertainment! And ridiculously cute to boot!

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 04, 2017 3:57 am 
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Howard, my 15 week old Bengal kitten, lets me pet him, feed him from my hand and scratch him behind the ears--he will grab at my hand with his paws/nip/rabbit kick, but he seems to still be a scaredy kitten about coming out of the bathroom I put him in. He won't let me pick him up either--I feed and clean up after him; I'm worried he might have bonded with my mother instead. He is also still very quiet--he does not mew; the only time he has is during car rides to the vet and then he won't stop. Am I doing something wrong or is he just not liking me? :( Please help!


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 04, 2017 2:21 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat

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You resurrected an old post rather than posting a new one, but that's fine. Note that bengals are not known for being lap cats or liking to be picked up. Mine definitely does not. I can pick him up, but he fights to be let down. That's just a bengal. Some are overly affectionate, but a lot of them are not. Bengals are definitely not your ordinary cat. They have their own quirks. Know, too, your bengal is just a kitten and it can take time to bond with a new human owner. If you have had him for more than a couple of weeks, he should not be staying in a bathroom. Bengals are very social cats and want to be WITH their humans. Kittens in a new home can also get stressed out. So these things can take some time. Be patient and continue to work with him.

And I don't know of many cats, especially bengals, who do now howl at the top of their lungs when in a carrier headed to the vet. That's quite normal!


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 22, 2017 4:58 am 
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Asian Leopard Cat

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I am interested in this discussion which is now very old, because I asked exactly the same question in another part of this forum and got taken to task for it, told that I should have researched Bengals before I got one, and so on. That makes me irritated now: your section on Bengal behavior (Maddy is the moderator, I think?) emphasizes that they are affectionate as well as entertaining/athletic/etcetera. My cat has never head-butted me once. I've had her for four months. She does lick my nose occasionally when I stroke her and utter endearments. She does sleep at the end of the bed. And she is often with me at the kitchen table, lying beside my left arm, which I have taken as a sign that she likes me. But affectionate in the usual sense she definitely is not. I wrote in the other discussion that this was a disappointment to me -- and I felt I got taken to task. It's certainly a normal reaction in someone who HAS read up on Bengals, DOES know they are supposed to be friendly/affectionate, and then gets one that is sort of none-of-the-above. I am never going to re-home Bella, I have to accept her the way she is, but it's still disappointing for me. I've been thinking of getting a third cat, just a rescue, a male that I would adopt with particular attention to his friendliness. Not at all convinced of this since my husband does not want a third cat - we've done that in our life before this, and we're at an age when he really didn't want another cat in the first place. NW


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