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PostPosted: Sun Feb 06, 2011 4:55 am 
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Bengal Kitten

Joined: Sun Feb 06, 2011 4:28 am
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I just Picked up my 1st Bengal kitten 13 weeks old yesterday night she is the cutest thing. Her persernality is nothing of what I have ever been told or researched about bengals before.. She is extremely shy and timid and sometimes hisses when we go near her. If we try to play with her with feather toys or anything she lacks all interest it seems. We put her in the bathroom with her liter box and food, water. and a soft pillow to lie on.. maybe we got carried away and let her out of the bathroom in the living room with us and let our six and seven year old girls pick her up and pet her and now she hides under the couch or anything that she can to try to stay away from us and will stay there for hours at a time. I dont want to scare her or anything. The only way I got her out was with a can of fancy feast but then she sneakily ran back under the couch as soon as she had a chance again. I know she must be stressed out with new environment people the breeder told me that she would start bringing her kids around her. She also mentioned that she was scared of the camera whenever she would take pictures and I dont know if she said that because she never could get active pictures of her compared to the other cats that she had that were standing on thier hind legs very alert looking . All she ever said about my kitty that she was so cute and sweet, I never thought anything about her not ever once saying she was active or anything. I know its probally to soon to tell but I feel sad not that I don't love my kitty and think she is the sweetest thing in the world but I feel that maybe I was used by the breeder as an inexperienced buyer. Or maybe my expectations were up too high. I feel when she knew that I had young children that she should have reccomended another more active cat for me. If anyone had a simular situation if they could let meknow how everything worked out or any advice.. I would love to hear it.[/b]


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 06, 2011 5:28 am 
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Asian Leopard Cat
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princessbengal wrote:
I dont want to scare her or anything. [/b]


I think the odds of you finding a kitten (of any breed, from any breeder) that would acclimate to your home on the very first day, and enjoy being handled and picked up by 2 pet-inexperienced children, and want to play and be active is extremely remote. You simply need to be WAY more patient and have much more realistic expectations. I also think it's WAY too early to make any assumptions about her personality, friendliness, or her activity level.

When kittens are introduced to a new home, they *need* a place they can hide. In fact you should probably give some thought to providing her a place where she can go and hide and be out of the "traffic areas", where she has her food, water, litterbox, and toys, and no people trying to extract her or pick her up before she's ready. She will come out, and she will be wanting to meet the house's inhabitants and make new friends, and play and cuddle, and do all the things that kittens do. But trying to force her into that before she is ready is only going to make that process take longer.

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PostPosted: Sun Feb 06, 2011 6:09 am 
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Asian Leopard Cat

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Location: Scotland - Paisley
It never ceases to amaze me that people find it so very hard to put themselves in the wee kittens position..

This is a BABY, you know like very very small human children except with 4 legs.

This baby has up until yesterday lived in familiar surroundings, with his/ her brothers & sisters, with a couple of humans that have been there all his her life providing food.

Then after 3 short months of life he/she wakes up one morning and everything seems normal, except one by one his brothers and sisters are disappearing, then some strange giants turn up and bundle him her into a cage and cart him/ her away in a strange noisy metal thing.

When let of of the cage he/she finds themselves in a strange place, no familiar smell of family, no familiar smells at all, then two smaller giants turn up and start attacking him/ her and picking him/ her up when all he/ she wants is to keep out of the way and try to work out what the bloody hell is happening.

Can you imagine what a 3 year old human child would do if he was dragged out of the house he lives in by 2 king kong monsters and dumped in a strange place while the two monsters and two smaller monsters were lugging him about?

Ok, angry rant over...

Provide her with a quiet room, with food, water and litter. Preferably somewhere where she CAN hide such as a cardboard box with a hole or two cut in it.

Spend as much time as you can in the room with her, not attempting to pet her, of pick her up, just be there for her to get used to. Preferably sit or or even lay on the floor (you will appear much less intimidating that way) reading a book or magazine, let her come and check you out, learning your scent and sight, as she starts to get a bit more bold introduce a wand toy to entice her to play...

For the time being keep the kids away from her, once she is happy with you repeat the process with the kids - make them sit with a wand toy and wait for her to come to them.

Learn to put yourself in her position, use a bit of imagination and realise that she is frightened to death at the moment and needs you and your family to take things slowly ;)

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PostPosted: Sun Feb 06, 2011 6:13 am 
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Bengal Kitten

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I do understand that introducing my girls was probally a mistake and regret that.. They have been for two months growing with anticipation and were so excited! Thanks for your post it did put me at ease a lot more my expectations were up to high to start being I am also an enexperienced bengal cat owner!! What made me think it would be otherwise was the many videos that I seen on u tube of bengal cats 1st days home playing with toys or atleast showing interest. the hiding and being shy I understood.. I was just curios of the under interest of any toy at all.. and the pictures of my kittens process on the breeders website vs. the other kittens of her brother and sisters they were all standing on thier hind legs very alert wresling with each other. All the pictures that I seen of Princess she was running away or very scared looking on the other hand she had the best markings and was the cutest and One hundred dollars more than her siblings so that made me think she was the pick of the litter.. :) We will be leaving her closed in the bathroom for a few days with her things to help make her feel more confortable great advice and how do you know when they are ready for more? I do have to bring her to the vet on monday I'm sure that will set her back again!!


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 06, 2011 7:21 am 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Sun Aug 08, 2010 6:12 pm
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Location: Scotland - Paisley
princessbengal wrote:
I do understand that introducing my girls was probally a mistake and regret that.. They have been for two months growing with anticipation and were so excited! Thanks for your post it did put me at ease a lot more my expectations were up to high to start being I am also an enexperienced bengal cat owner!! What made me think it would be otherwise was the many videos that I seen on u tube of bengal cats 1st days home playing with toys or atleast showing interest. the hiding and being shy I understood.. I was just curios of the under interest of any toy at all.. and the pictures of my kittens process on the breeders website vs. the other kittens of her brother and sisters they were all standing on thier hind legs very alert wresling with each other. All the pictures that I seen of Princess she was running away or very scared looking on the other hand she had the best markings and was the cutest and One hundred dollars more than her siblings so that made me think she was the pick of the litter.. :) We will be leaving her closed in the bathroom for a few days with her things to help make her feel more confortable great advice and how do you know when they are ready for more? I do have to bring her to the vet on monday I'm sure that will set her back again!!


Perhaps a bedroom would be a more comfortable choice, for you more than her. It would be a nicer environment for you to sit quietly with her ;)

Every kitten is very much an individual, and more to the point Youtube is going to give you a very distorted view of things - someone who's kitten is shy and reclusive for 2 weeks is not going to post video's of their first day at the new home ;)

Some kittens are very outgoing and more than happy to take everything in their stride, some kittens are scared and take quite a time to adapt to new situations - there are possible benefits from this, if you spend a lot of time getting her to accept you then she may form a stronger bond with you where a more outgoing kitten may be more independent. Toshi was very outgoing and he is not the most loving cat, affection is always on his terms.

I do understand the excitement of a new kitten, it is bad enough for us adults let alone the kids, but really you need to educate the kids and explain that the baby cat is very frightened when picked up and petted and that they have to sit quietly and let her come to them when she is ready.

The lack of activity pictures from the breeder does further indicate a more nervous kitten, it may be she was bullied or intimidated by her siblings, it may just be her nature, either way what she needs is for you to be patient and show her that there is nothing to fear. Once she does start to interact a bit I think you will find she will progress quite quickly.

Another thing to try, maybe in a 4 or 5 days if she is not coming out of her shell, is to take the food in to her room with you and take it away when you leave, so she sees you as food provider.

Toy wise, feather ticklers are quite good, and wand toys such as Da-bird which will let you play from a bit of a distance and slowly wind her in closer ;)

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PostPosted: Sun Feb 06, 2011 8:01 am 
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Asian Leopard Cat
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Location: Portland Oregon, USA
princessbengal wrote:
We will be leaving her closed in the bathroom for a few days with her things to help make her feel more confortable great advice and how do you know when they are ready for more? I do have to bring her to the vet on monday I'm sure that will set her back again!!


It's not really that you need to lock her away in complete isolation. In fact you shouldn't. The ideal situation is one where she has a place to retreat to, and a quiet room to stay in, but with the option to venture out when she's ready. And the presence of people with her is fine, like Louise said, as long as they respect her "space" and understand her state of mind. The best thing is if she starts thinking of your family in positive terms. Non-threatening, and providing good things, like play, food, treats etc., when she is ready for it.

To give you an idea, my two wanted to do nothing but cower under the bed for the first night in the guest bedroom. No food, no water, and definitely wanted nothing to do with me. The second day they started to poke their heads out, and quickly retreating, and occasionally venture out enough to find their food dish, litter box etc. By the third day they owned that room, were out playing, jumping, running etc., and sleeping on top of the bed. They liked it when I visited them, we had fun playing, but they still scurried under the bed frequently. The rest of the house was still be big, terrifying, unknown area that scared them. They soon after started venturing out of the room, frequently retreating when something scared them. Three or four days later, they ruled the house. Were running everywhere, exploring everything, and didn't want to let me out of their sight. Every cat has their own timeline, so it'll be different with yours, but that is the right set of expectations.

For what it's worth, I think you probably made a great choice of cat if what you are looking for primarily is a fun, active cat that will want to play with and interact with your kids, you just need to give her time.

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PostPosted: Sun Feb 06, 2011 11:01 am 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Sun Jul 26, 2009 4:40 pm
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Location: uk
I do believe you should keep her in one room only for the settling in period. Firstly, I wouldn't let your children in the room with her until she is more comfortable & trusting of you. A good way to do this is to sit on the floor and read a book or magazine. This way she is aware of your presence, but she will soon learn that you aren't going to do anything horrible to her. Also, when you are going in to feed her & clean out her litter trays talk to her so she gets used to your voice.
Then, you can start playing with wand toys.

My daughter was 7 when I brought my bengals home. The golden rules were that she had to sit on the floor & let the kittens come to her, she wasn't allowed to pick them up & she was not allowed to use her hands to play with them.

Time 7 patience is the key. The children need to know that the kitten is not a toy to be picked up & carried round. If you don't teach them that now they will learn the hard way when the kitten scratches them!

Katie xx


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 06, 2011 11:46 am 
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Asian Leopard Cat

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hi there.... when i bought my 4th kitten home ozzy, he was soooooooo **** scared of everything, id not had this problem with any of my other 3 at all, but ozzy was terrified.... i put him in the spare room with litter, toys, food, water and some boxes and left him a few hours... when i came back in i could see he hadnt moved from behind the boxes.... so i moved myself into the room, but the tv on for some noise, to get him used to noise, had a book and my laptop in there, i sat on the floor and ignored him..... went on my laptop, read my book etc.... i also slept in the room...i left a nightlight on so i could see him..
night 1, i heard him eating, looked at him and he ran away...
during the next evening, i waved a wand toy around, not at him just to myself, and he started looking, watching...
night 2, he would eat with me watching..
night3, he started to go for the toy,
night 4, he would screech to wake me up to play with the toy...
night 5, he drove me bonkers wanting to play..
night 6, i had to go back in my own bed coz he was driving me mad...
day 7 we let him out..... he ran back to his room a few times, but not for long.... now he is the most out going of all mine... xx

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PostPosted: Sun Feb 06, 2011 12:53 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Sun Jul 26, 2009 4:40 pm
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Well done Miki - you have put it in far more simple terms than my waffle :lol:

Just another thing to be mindful of..... When the kitten is let out of the safe room I would add a 2nd litter tray elsewhere in the house. Firstly, because kittens may get caught short & secondly, because a lot of cats like to poo & wee in different trays :D

Katie xx


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 08, 2011 1:00 am 
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Bengal Cat

Joined: Thu Jan 27, 2011 9:24 pm
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Location: Scotland - Ayrshire
Hi princessbengal,

I picked up my snow bengal sisters 4 weeks ago. Mine were real scaredy cats. Asia & Sapphire Hid behind our couch for the first week and any time they saw us they would bolt behind the couch.

The breeder we got them from told us to get them to associate us as their food provider. They told us to remove their food for a day or so until they were hungry and only feed them once in the day. When we fed them I sat on the floor with them and gradually began to stroke them as they ate, so they could get used to. I only did this for a couple of days before going back to proper feeding and it seemed to work as they came out of hiding.

I had never heard of doing this before and I wasn't too happy removing their food. However today, 4 weeks and 2 days after bringing the girls home I had a breakthrough with Asia. She let me stroke her without running away and she has such a loud purr!!

Another thing my girls love is their feather rod toy. It's a really good way to bring them out of their shell & start to bond.

As long as you are patient & let your kitten come to you i'm sure she'll come round to you. I think the worst thing you can do is impose yourself on them, because your kitten will be nervous in unfamiliar surroundings.

PawPrint :wink:


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 09, 2011 8:29 am 
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Bengal Kitten

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Thank you everyone so much for your posts they were so super helpfull!! Sometimes you just have to learn the word patience... Day two she was already playing with us and my kids willingly and yes I moved her stuff from the bathroom to the den in my house that does not have a door so it gave her the option to explore.. I also told my kids no more picking her up and no more following her to let her come to them.. sometimes that is hard for them to understand but they are doing that pretty good.. seems to be working.. She still runs from us all but when she does we just leave her alone and wait for her to come out.. SOmetimes we can get her out by waiving da bird in front of the couch and she can't resist.. Today She grabbed some birthday ribbon that was on the floor and brought it to my husband and my husband threw it to play fetch .. ( Figureing she would never get it that fast)but sure enough first time she brought it back to him over and over again.. Yes She Is coming out of her shell!!!! Ps. tomorrow I am going to buy her a water fountain. when she drinks her water she always puts her paw in the water to make it move before she drinks.. not sure if that means she is looking to see if its full or wants movement. don't matter to me shes geting one anyways.. Again thank you everyone for your help!! :D :D :D :D


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 09, 2011 12:56 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat

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Location: Scotland - Paisley
princessbengal wrote:
Thank you everyone so much for your posts they were so super helpfull!! Sometimes you just have to learn the word patience... Day two she was already playing with us and my kids willingly and yes I moved her stuff from the bathroom to the den in my house that does not have a door so it gave her the option to explore.. I also told my kids no more picking her up and no more following her to let her come to them.. sometimes that is hard for them to understand but they are doing that pretty good.. seems to be working.. She still runs from us all but when she does we just leave her alone and wait for her to come out.. SOmetimes we can get her out by waiving da bird in front of the couch and she can't resist.. Today She grabbed some birthday ribbon that was on the floor and brought it to my husband and my husband threw it to play fetch .. ( Figureing she would never get it that fast)but sure enough first time she brought it back to him over and over again.. Yes She Is coming out of her shell!!!! Ps. tomorrow I am going to buy her a water fountain. when she drinks her water she always puts her paw in the water to make it move before she drinks.. not sure if that means she is looking to see if its full or wants movement. don't matter to me shes geting one anyways.. Again thank you everyone for your help!! :D :D :D :D


I bet you are relieved she is starting to interact though aren't you LOL

Remember to get down to her level as much as possible, she will be much more likely to come and explore you then.

As for the water, pawing at the water prior to drinking is very common, there are various theories for the behaviour none of which are conclusive. I would strongly recommend a water fountain with a carbon filter by the way, some claim that a filter is not required but they need cleaning every day especially if kitty is washing feet in it.

I have these http://www.zooplus.co.uk/shop/cats/cat_ ... ains/80895 and all 4 of my cats drink much more since getting them, a bit of a task to clean if you don't have a dishwasher but only needs to be done once a week if that ;)

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 26, 2011 5:40 am 
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Bengal Kitten

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I thought I would send an update on Princess, since I feel that the only time I get on here is when I have a problem! She has taken over the hearts of our whole family!! She has her own time during the day that she plays with herself or climbs up the top of her cat tree and naps on the top! As soon as the kids get home from school she follows them around the only problem I have is with my kids not wanting to take turns and getting to much for her and then she knows where to run.. to the top of her tree house!! She almost never gets tired of playing catch which I think is awesome! there was one insident that my youngest was playing with her with the bird toy and her arm got in the way and princess slightly bit her on accident and which I tapped princess on the nose and learned later that that was not the best approach.. It took me a few days to totally earn back her trust and now shes jumping on the couch again everynight to cuddle (I know I am lucky to say that) Now the only thing is to teach her that feet under the blanket are not for play :) !!! She seeems to be a slow learner on that.. wonder why! Just like my kids they hear only what they want to hear!


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 26, 2011 11:53 am 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Sun Feb 15, 2009 6:28 am
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well im glad to hear she is settling in so well, it all sounds good. Also glad to hear you wont be using the tap on the nose method again either, if you want to stop her doing something or tell her off, say no in a loud voice or a little hiss from you as mama cat would do to her.... xx

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 29, 2017 12:13 am 
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Bengal Kitten

Joined: Tue Aug 29, 2017 12:07 am
Posts: 3
Hello everyone
I just got a 14 week old Bengal kitten from a reputable breeder (Rising Sun Farms MN) and the poor baby is shy as all get out. He runs and hides--granted it's only been one and a half days since he came to his new home with me, but I'm getting worried because he shows no signs of wanting to come out, eat, use the litter box or drink. His name is Howard: as in 'Big Bang Theory' and I am trying not to bug him so he can settle in--could anyone please give me some advice? I have a collar for him, but I heard its not a good idea to put one on a kitten just yet. I'm so worried about my little furbaby--any help would be sorely appreciated!


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