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Well, I moved her food/water/litter downstairs this evening.

When she awoke she came down and has been up and down but has stayed down more than up.

She has eaten and drank from her bowls in the kitchen and sat on level 3 of her activity centre nosing at the comings and goings outside.

She has also been on the floor playing around and just sitting and surveying things.

She then got up and nosed around the tree then tried to get under the throw on the sofa, and failed.

She then sat down, took a look around, gave me a look of disgust, I am assuming because of the throw on the sofa then mosied on upstairs.

All in all a very successful evening.

I know I must sound like a neurotic but I really want this to work, for the both of us.

Thanks all for your patience and excellent advice

See - little steps It sounds as if she's quite comfortable in the physical environment but it will take a little longer for her to build a relationshp with you. It's lovely that you're getting that chance to build a relationship with her though, even if it seems too slow right now, and it'll be all the more rewarding for you when she starts to interact with you properly.

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I know, I just worry so much about things like this. Most likely give myself a stroke

It's perfecty understandable. You had Jasmine a long time so are used to the cat in your life having a strong bond with you and it will seem stressful to be having to go back to the beginning again, especially with a cat who's come from an unusual background. Try to be as relaxed as you can around her though because she'll pick up on signs of anxiety and that might make her more wary of you - easier said than done I know but it's important.

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I agree with ginnym's advice.
My female cat, Saffy, who was 1-year-old when we got her, didn't bond with us properly for a year - she wouldn't sit on our laps, she'd hiss at us, and was generally very skittish. Now, she is a happy little bunny, but these things do take time, on both parts.

Her brother, Horus made himself at home within 24 hours.

When Horus died, and we brought William in, she fell out with us all over again. She took weeks to get used to William. I guess it's just that cats are all different, just like us.

I would suggest allowing a few weeks for her to settle in. I understand how difficuult it can be wanting things to work out, and given time, I'm sure all will be fine.

hi nanook,

sounds like things are improving slowly but surely
you just wait for that special moment when she comes & curls up on your lap! you will just melt with happiness & it'll all be worth it

keep doing what you're doing, slowly slowly, remember to take it at her pace.
she really is making fantastic progress considering how different everything must be for her.

she will soon realise that she's landed on her paws by coming to live with you
what ginny said about you being around more at the weekend makes sense too, you may find that she progresses more when you have more time with her on your days off.

Hiya
I have just been reading your story and I thought telling you about my experience might help a bit? I have been a volunteer for the Cats Protection League for a few years now and about 3 years ago the girls there were having trouble getting a home for Cherub, a gorgeous big black feral cat - who was extremely nervous, Cherub had been in the centre for almost 2 years - since he was a 5 month old kitten and as well as his anxiety was also getting very depressed. I couldn't let him stay in the centre for another unknown length of time I agreed to take him on.

Well! On taking Cherub home he ran straight under the desk and there he stayed, hissing at anyone who came near him. I knew this was going to take time! For the next few days (after work I was working full-time at the time) I spent every evening lying in the floor, just letting him get used to me, then backing off and giving him space, eventually stroking him - he was so nervous he licked his lips a known sign of anxiety but strangely he would only eat when I was stroking him, but he still wouldn't leave the safety of the desk unless he was alone, sometimes we'd walk into the room to see a big black blur running back to safety! I can't remember how long it took for him to come out - but it was a good month at least with a LOT of patience and ignoring (best thing to do no pressure) then a bit more time stroking him. After about 3 months he started to explore the rest of the house, shooting back upstairs when he was spotted!!

Anyway - we're talking months here but eventually he started to jump up onto my lap when I was working on the PC and there he's stay purring away as long as I was sat down!!

Cherub really was 'my boy' I think it took a year before he'd let anyone else touch him but he was often on my knee so I felt glad i'd put so much 'work' and time into him as he trusted me.

Unfortunately a year or so later I split up with my partner who wanted to keep the cats and the house - I knew with Cherubs past it would be very unfair to move him so I had to let him stay - I hear updates from him and hear he is doing very well, he'll never talk to strangers but he's a wonderful affectionate boy to his family - and he LOVES other cats!!

I hope this helps somewhat... I know the scenario is different but its so rewarding those first few moments of trust, playing, all the 'firsts' are lovely - enjoy them, the rewards are so worth the hard work. I do miss my Cherub - but he's happy, thats the main thing.

NaNook,

I just came across this thread, my experience about shy cats are, I have 4 Bengals, and out of the 4 I have 2 that are real shy/scared. They shy away from kisses and cuddles, if I pick them up they fight to be put back down. I usually leave it up to them, Zeus is 4 he knows what he wants and Daisy is only 7 months old, she hates being touched. Saying that, when they want tickled they do it at their own will, they come and get a tickle when they want it. Its always on their terms. We found its usually night time they come to us, near bedtime...I am sure your kitten will come round, but you really dont need to worry if she doenst, it might just be her personality.

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Hestia Gone but not forgotten, RIP sweet princess.
Zeus Gone but not forgotten, RIP big fella, our Nookie bear.