Hi guys :)

so we gave away our 2 years old female bengal 5 days ago because we didn't believe she was happy enough with us even tho she was in love with me and always giving me love (our schedule was just not a good fit at this point in our life for to keep our bengal) And we found a great family that bought one male bengal a year after we bought our female from "vendor" and that family was looking to get another one for their "solo male bengal"

They are having a hard time with her right now... she's always grunting at them... she hides somewhere and when they get close she grunts... she try to hit them with her.. she walks in the house like she's crowling .. in other words .. I know she's scared and probably looking for us.

I know long term the family will be great for her but right now they can't even get close to her.. not even the other bengal (who's really scared but also extremely curious)

What should they do? I feel like if I was there everything would be alright but I can't obviously do much right now.

Any tip / help would be really appreciated!

Hi! She is obviously scared in her new environment and with her new family. What I would suggest is creating a safe place for her in her new house, a separate room for instance.

She needs time to adjust and having a whole house to adjust to, plus another cat and an unknown family, might just be too much right now. If she could have her own room with her food , litter tray and a place to sleep in it for a week or so, she will feel a lot safer. After that first week she could be given more space bit by bit. Of course she shouldn't be alone in the room the whole time, her new family could spend time with her there to get to know her.

Right now she needs to feel safe, that is the first priority. Hope this helps.

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Linus & Rascal

Instagram: @snow_bengal_brothers #snow_bengal_brothers

Seriously, you gave away your bengal because she was not a good "fit" in your life? And she loved you so much on top of it all? No wonder that poor girl is terrified. She now has strange new owners, another cat running around, she has no territory or scent in this new home and she probably misses you terribly. She is stressed out and doesn't feel safe at all.

She should have been placed in a "safe" room with her litter box, food, water, toys, bed, etc. This move has overwhelmed her. She needs time to adjust and the new owners don't need to be trying to hold her, pet her, etc. This has to be on the kitty's terms. She probably feels abandoned at this point.

Know that the male in this home will be dominant over her. She may be bullied and aggressively sought out. Yes, perhaps in time, things will settle down. Maybe this new family will shower love on her. I know you feel you made the right decision, but if this situation does not work out in the end, she will be re-homed again, which is totally unfair to her. Owning a pet should be a life-long commitment. You are obviously worried as to how she is settling in. I hope things work out in the end for this little gal's sake.

Reading this is heartbreaking, and I can't help but think that what she needs right now is to be in a situation where she can get sort of re-centered, calmed down, and then put in a situation where she'll be with someone who can commit to her and has the patience that it'll take to re-build her life. I think a good shelter is the best place for her right now. A good shelter will give her what she needs right now, and find her a proper home.

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The little monsters 3

I'm sure it was a really tough decision to let your girl go to another family, I feel for all of you and Nala, who is clearly confused and stressed right now.

Definitely she should have a 'safe room' and the new owners need to be extremely patient with her. Have they advised if she is eating and using her litter box okay? If they can set her up with her own room for a bit so she can calm down and be allowed the time she needs, I'm sure that would help. They could perhaps go and sit quietly with her to gain her trust, perhaps read to her and see if she will accept treats or play. But I hope they understand this is going to take time. She doesn't understand why she is there, and there is the scent of another cat probably scaring the life out of her as well. Zylkene could help calm her, and I'd suggest feliway plug-in's in her safe room.

When she is calmer and interacting with them a bit, then they could attempt introductions to their other Bengal, but they will need to take this slow and at her pace, scent swap etc. The last thing anyone needs is for the introduction to go badly and she ends up being rehomed again.

Have you agreed what should happen if this doesn't go well? Will you take her back or allow them to rehome her? Maybe you need to have this discussion if it hasn't happened already. I don't think it would help if you go there right now, it will only serve to confuse her more and set her back if any progress has been made...

My heart is breaking for all of you. I really hope the new owners have the time and patience for this to work out - rehoming an adult is a totally different ball game to taking a kitten home.

Wishing you and especially Nala lots of luck x

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Clare
Hendrix and Jagger, Brown Marble Boys (born 18 August 2013)
Hampshire, UK