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PostPosted: Mon Jan 23, 2017 6:46 pm 
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Bengal Kitten

Joined: Sun Jan 22, 2017 2:43 pm
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Hi everybody,
We are quite new to this forum as we just started our journey with Bengals. We have two bengal kittens- Sheila(1 year old) and Lio 3 months. They have known each other for jut one week. Sheila is very silent and doesn't like presence of people or animals apart from me and my boyfriend. We have decided to buy 2nd kitten. In the desciription previous owner stated that kitten is also shy and scared of almost everything. We thought that it will be a perfect match for our Sheila. In the reality Lio is not shy at all, he is very self condifent and not scared of anything or anybody.
First two days Sheila was hissing at him and fighting, he simply didn't care provoking her for playing with him. Now two kittens are perfectly fine with each other, at least that's how it looks like. Nevertheless we observed change in the behaviour of our Sheila- she is not so close anymore to us, doesn't make a sound when stroked and become submissive to kitten. While she eats, he even if he has his own bowl with food will still go to hers and try to steal . Sheila lets him to do basically everything. Why did her behaviour change? Does it mean that now she is not going to be as close to us as she was before? Do you think that she may feel pushed away ? Me and my boyfriend were also thinking that maybe it's her maternal instinct that tells her to be submissive to him? I alsow ant to add that we try our best to treat both kittens in the same way. We even stroke her and spend more time with her than with him just to show her that she was and is our first kitten- but it doesn't seem to work. Anyone who had the same problem please help us.


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 23, 2017 10:28 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat
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The interaction between my two cats and theirs with me changes constantly. I see rough play and power struggles all the time. For about a year Blondie slept in my arms every night. Now for 2 months she stays by my feet on the edge of the bed and Grace is up by my head sleeping next to me! Before Grace stayed out on the patio during the day and Blondie stayed inside the house with me, now it is reversed. They are constantly changing. I love them both equally. They have some sort of silent communication between the two of them.

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 23, 2017 11:46 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat
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Location: Portland Oregon, USA
One of the truly best things about having multiple cats, is that you are suddenly exposed to an entirely new world of cat-to-cat behaviors, and they are not always intuitive to understand. In fact, much of it you will never fully understand :lol: But it's fun to chip away at it. The book "Cat vs Cat" is my favorite for learning about this. Cats have hierarchy, etiquette, and also a pretty strong sense of ownership over things (and people).

The food bowl thing... In American football, when two lineman collide and attempt to move (push) one another, there is a concept called "the low man wins", which basically means that the one who gets his shoulders lowest to the ground, has the most leverage. It's kinda the same with cats. Little kittens have an easier time squeezing themselves between an older cat and their food bowls. Sheila is just not a very assertive cat, so lets him get away with it, but probably doesn't particularly like it. Separating their bowls a ways apart will sometimes help.

I have to admit that I do find it a little exasperating when people get a second cat "to be friends with their first cat" and then when it works (which isn't a given by any means!) lament that they feel left out. It shouldn't be a lament! It happened exactly how you intended and it's a best-case scenario, believe me! Now it's simply a matter of bonding with (both) your cats. Bengals are easy that way... you win them over through play and treats (not petting and cuddling). Get some really good interactive toys (dabird, neko flies, flying frenzy) and play play play. Some people like to do other activities too like clicker training and talking their bengals for walks.

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 25, 2017 6:21 am 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Thu May 23, 2013 2:21 pm
Posts: 8016
Welcome to our forum and congratulations on both Sheila and Lio. The balance in your household has changed. Male bengals are highly territorial and Lio stepped into Sheila's territory! The only advice I have is that you continue to monitor them while they are together just to make sure there is no aggression. When one gets a second bengal, it seems the two bengals bond and the humans are left out of the situation. It doesn't sound as if Sheila is upset over Lio but that she's allowed him to become the dominant cat in the household. A week is truly not long enough for these two cats to iron out where they stand in the pecking order of your household. Sheila's confidence may have been taken away by getting another bengal. Just give it some more time. Patience and time are your friend.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 25, 2017 11:48 pm 
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Bengal Kitten

Joined: Sun Jan 22, 2017 2:43 pm
Posts: 4
I have to admit that I do find it a little exasperating when people get a second cat "to be friends with their first cat" and then when it works (which isn't a given by any means!) lament that they feel left out. It shouldn't be a lament!


Dear Bjarni12,
I am just more worried that we kinda let our Sheila down by bringing second cat home. The worst thing is when we-humans start to use our heart not brain. Like you said my emotions took over my common sense. I thought that it will be better for her to have a company while we are not at gome. Do you recommend some toys particulary? Checking the online shops gives me headache as there is too much choice. :surprised: I already got them Catit speed pursuit but they don't seem to be interested in playing with it.


Sherry,
'Sheila's confidence may have been taken away by getting another bengal. Just give it some more time. Patience and time are your friend'.
That's what we are afraid of.. That now she will become even more shy than before. The thing with Sheila is that me and my boyfriend think that she was isolated or abused by her previous owner that's why she is such a scared of everything kitten.

CMYKjill,
It's quite shocking for me as an unexperienced Bengal's owner that the 'dominant position' may change over years. I may have pay more attention to their behaviour.


I also observed, just today, that Sheila started washing and grooming Lio. Do any of you know what does it mean? Is it possible that she classified him as her kid ?


Many thanks for all of the responses. ! Looking forward to hear from you..


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 26, 2017 12:15 am 
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Asian Leopard Cat
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Joined: Thu Dec 02, 2010 1:00 am
Posts: 4111
Location: Portland Oregon, USA
Sheila&Lio wrote:
Dear Bjarni12,
I am just more worried that we kinda let our Sheila down by bringing second cat home. The worst thing is when we-humans start to use our heart not brain. Like you said my emotions took over my common sense. I thought that it will be better for her to have a company while we are not at gome. Do you recommend some toys particulary? Checking the online shops gives me headache as there is too much choice. :surprised: I already got them Catit speed pursuit but they don't seem to be interested in playing with it.


Just call me Bjarni :rofl:

If you want to form a lot closer bond with your bengal(s), you can't just throw toys at their feet. You need to be on the other end of the toy playing with them!

Try these:
https://smile.amazon.com/Flying-Frenzy- ... frenzy+and
https://smile.amazon.com/Replacement-Fe ... ds=da+bird
https://smile.amazon.com/Go-Cat-Refill- ... ds=damouse
https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B01 ... bw_c_x_4_w

Also giving out these, from your hand, will help grease the wheels:
https://smile.amazon.com/CAT-MAN-DOO-Ex ... cat+snacks
https://smile.amazon.com/Sheba-Tender-S ... NK3K4JDY5W

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 26, 2017 6:30 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Wed Aug 28, 2013 7:42 pm
Posts: 640
Welcome to the forum.

Considering you had a very quiet/shy young cat and you've thrown a kitten-shaped hand grenade in to your household, I'd say things were heading in the right direction. There may be some bumps on the way, but:

Quote:
I also observed, just today, that Sheila started washing and grooming Lio.


is a good sign - you wouldn't lick your enemy's ears - washing and grooming is a sign of friendship.

Play and more play is the currency of bengals - active, zoomy, get them panting for air play. You'll need to work on making sure that they both get played with as equally as possible, but play with them a lot each day and you will cement your bond with them. I find with my 2 that they really require a human to be involved to get play going - on their own they don't really initiate it.

As for Sheila possibly having been abused, that can be tricky, but you can show her a calm and loving home and she will come round in time. Do the slow blink with her - don't stare at her, but look towards her with your eyes slightly closed, slowly close them and tilt your head away before slowly opening your eyes - this tells her, in her own language, that you are comfortable with her being there and that you have no ill intentions towards her ( by contrast, a cat that did, would have their eyes fixed on her and wide open ). Also, get down on her level - sit or lay on the floor, ignore her till she wants to come over to you, when she does shower her with praise and if she wants them strokes.


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2017 6:12 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Thu May 23, 2013 2:21 pm
Posts: 8016
Cats grooming each other is a good sign! As long as the other cat will sit and take it! It's hard bringing in an cat and you have no idea what the cat's prior life was like. Most cats are loved and played with. Others are just an ornament that you feed a few times a day. The key is going to be playtime with both of the cats. You need to interact with them. It's easy for owners to bring in other cats but you have no idea how the other cats are going to react to each other. And it's not easy teaching them to be friends. It happens on their terms or not. Just hang in there. Patience. Play with them, give them the attention they need and deserve. Observe them at all times. You'll see signs that they are coming around to each other -- like the grooming.


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 09, 2017 6:36 pm 
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Bengal Kitten

Joined: Sun Jan 22, 2017 2:43 pm
Posts: 4
thank you for all your answers. Just to keep you up-to-date Sheila and Lio became friends. They still have their own silent rules and terytories but instead of fighting now they sleep together and spend time on playing so it's all a good sign!


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 09, 2017 9:39 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Wed Aug 28, 2013 7:42 pm
Posts: 640
It is great to hear that they are getting on well. She seems to have agreed to be 2nd fiddle, the same wth Ada to Babbage.


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 09, 2017 10:39 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat
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Joined: Wed Dec 21, 2016 5:17 am
Posts: 130
brianj12 wrote:

Just call me Bjarni :rofl:


LOL Laughed out loud at this. Sorry :lol:

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 10, 2017 6:38 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat

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Happy to hear things are going better between them.


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