Every cat is different. Mine is not a lap cat at all, but if you cover your lap with a blanket, he will come over and lay on it. When I'm sitting on a extra large chair at my computer, he will come and lay beside me. But he does not do that when I'm in the living room watching TV on the loveseat. I can pick him up for about 30 seconds as well. Mine has the sweetest disposition and has never scratched or bitten me. He definitely got his sweetness from his mom. Bengals are like no other cat. Mine is overly affectionate when I walk through the door after work, but that's the only time. I wouldn't trade Raiden for the world. He's got a very unique personality and lots of quirks that I've never seen in a cat before, but he's so special to me and I love him to bits.
If you are, indeed, the 3rd or 4th owner of this cat, I think the cat may not want to get attached as it may think the home situation will change again. Do I think cats are smart? Absolutely!!!! The one thing you need is patience. Don't get stressed out over this as the cat will sense the stress and become stressed as well. Sometimes we tend to become overbearing because we want the cat to like us and be all over us -- and it just takes time. Spend some time each day interacting with her with toys.
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