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 Post subject: Not getting along
PostPosted: Sat Oct 26, 2013 11:20 pm 
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Bengal Cat

Joined: Sun Sep 22, 2013 11:11 pm
Posts: 39
Well finally we have our new addition, over the last week we've had our new baby Bengal 12 weeks old in his safe room, slowly he is getting used to all other family members and is exploring out side the boundaries of his safe room, problem I have is my other 2 yo cat, domestic long hair, he will growl and hiss at sir Lancelot non stop, he is making really aggressive noises and I feel they might never get along, any ideas to bring 2yo into line?


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 Post subject: Re: Not getting along
PostPosted: Sat Oct 26, 2013 11:28 pm 
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Senior Bengal

Joined: Fri Jul 26, 2013 5:44 am
Posts: 73
I don't have any experience of this, but I will say that it might take longer for them to get along than a week. We've had our kitten for 3 weeks and I have seen quite a big change over the last week. We have a dog that is 7 and all of a sudden I feel like they've just clicked!

Try not to stress and rush into wanting them to get along and just give them time and space.

I'm sure it will work out. Good luck!


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 Post subject: Re: Not getting along
PostPosted: Sun Oct 27, 2013 1:44 am 
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Asian Leopard Cat
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Joined: Thu Dec 02, 2010 1:00 am
Posts: 4111
Location: Portland Oregon, USA
A few comments/suggestions:

1. Do a forum search on "introduction" and you'll see many many many many posts asking this same thing. Then ask specific questions.
2. Whenever you introduce a new cat to a happy adult cat, you run the risk of that adult cat getting cheesed off. You are right in that there is a chance that they may never get along. But it is way way too soon to reach such a conclusion, and it sounds like you really haven't put in the effort that you will probably have to, to make it work.
3. If you are interested in understanding what might be going on with your cats, there is a really good book called "cat vs cat" that gives quite a bit of insight and suggestions.
4. I think it's really backwards to be looking at the problem as "bringing the 2yo into line". That shouldn't be the goal. The goal should be to have 2 happy cats, which roughly translates into you appeasing first the 2yo, then the kitten in that order, especially since you are the instigator of this problem.

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 Post subject: Re: Not getting along
PostPosted: Sun Oct 27, 2013 10:52 am 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Tue Jan 16, 2007 2:47 pm
Posts: 3809
Location: UK
brianj12 wrote:
4. I think it's really backwards to be looking at the problem as "bringing the 2yo into line". That shouldn't be the goal. The goal should be to have 2 happy cats, which roughly translates into you appeasing first the 2yo, then the kitten in that order, especially since you are the instigator of this problem.


Exactly. The intruder here is the kitten. Your cat was having a nice life thank you very much for 2 years. Being the centre of attention and being the only cat. He has now been upset by having an interloper into his territory.
He may accept that and be happy again, he may just tolerate that with both cats hardly interacting, he may look like he is accepting that but is stressed and that may come out in other ways, or he may forever hate that, who can say.
Adult cats are in the main not pack animals they are solitary animals, some cats never really grow up so are just kittens all their lives, they do well in twos or in groups from kittenhood as it is just one happy litter family forever. Others grow up into adults and need or make a defined territory where they live. Even littermates or kitten buddies can fall out and carve their own path when they grow up.
Your cat, being solitary has a well defined territory ie your home and is just defending that. He will be scared, he will be angry and upset, he will need a lot of persuading that he wants to share that and that is your job. It can take hours, days, weeks, months, even years for cats to get along, there is no set timetable.

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 Post subject: Re: Not getting along
PostPosted: Mon Oct 28, 2013 12:44 am 
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Bengal Cat

Joined: Sun Sep 22, 2013 11:11 pm
Posts: 39
2yo ( Sylvester ) body language is very neutral, he will lay down at the doors entrance just looking at Lancelot, his tail not swaying from side to side, no arched back or hair standing up, he looks generally interested in his play time, when Lancelot gets within 5-6 feet the hissing growling and snorting will take place, or if Lancelot even looks at Sylvester he will hiss, Sylvester will play with his toys if encouraged to do so, I does seem he's pulling himself "into line" :)
Although a little way away from being trusted by themselves.


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 Post subject: Re: Not getting along
PostPosted: Mon Oct 28, 2013 12:50 am 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Thu May 23, 2013 2:21 pm
Posts: 8016
It takes a while in most cases. A stranger has popped into your lives and with other cats, it takes some getting used to. I'm sure they hiss at the new member in the hopes of "scaring" them off. LOL. Seriously .... it just takes some time.


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 Post subject: Re: Not getting along
PostPosted: Mon Oct 28, 2013 9:30 am 
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Asian Leopard Cat
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Joined: Sun Aug 28, 2011 3:08 am
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Location: Melbourne, Australia
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H_mgXHAMDZI

watch this series, it's got really good info on cat body language and introductions. Good luck, you need time, patience and persistence.

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 Post subject: Re: Not getting along
PostPosted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 1:33 am 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Thu Aug 15, 2013 8:02 am
Posts: 134
I agree, time will make a huge difference!

Your new kitten is an intruder to your 2 year old cat, they are not just going to be accepted straight away. Your 2 year old may or may not accept your new kitten. They may become best friends over time or may just tolerate one another and stay out of each other's way. Time will tell though but you are definitely giving them the best chance to establish a relationship in keeping your new kitten in a safe room. As long as you go through the introduction process slowly and step by step, you will give your cats the best chance at establishing the happy and healthy relationship you wish for them to have.

Good luck and let us all know how you progress :biggrin:


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 Post subject: Re: Not getting along
PostPosted: Wed Nov 06, 2013 7:38 am 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Fri Sep 27, 2013 12:19 am
Posts: 125
Sir Lancelot wrote:
Well finally we have our new addition, over the last week we've had our new baby Bengal 12 weeks old in his safe room, slowly he is getting used to all other family members and is exploring out side the boundaries of his safe room, problem I have is my other 2 yo cat, domestic long hair, he will growl and hiss at sir Lancelot non stop, he is making really aggressive noises and I feel they might never get along, any ideas to bring 2yo into line?


Well a week is not any time at all. Do not expect them to be happy. Takes time. I just got my Bengal a playmate. Took her about 3 weeks. It was like stages. Anger, hissing spitting for a week. Then curiosity and would watch her intensely to this week there finally playing and no more hissing or aggression.

Cats are territorial creatures it takes them time. The 2 year old views the other as a intruder. They either will be friends, ignore one another, or be hostile if they get close generally. You will see which it is as time goes on.


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 Post subject: Re: Not getting along
PostPosted: Mon Nov 11, 2013 9:04 pm 
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Bengal Cat

Joined: Sun Sep 22, 2013 11:11 pm
Posts: 39
Update- Lancelot and Sylvester are now touching noses, lance has well and truely come out of his shell and now rules the house, Sylvester has given up his sleeping spot to lance, he will still hiss now and again but seems he will put up with lance now.
Lance is very cheeky and will sneak up on Sylvester while he's eating and tap him, again Sylvester will put up with this and even gives up his food.
Seems Bengals have the balls to take it to much bigger cats as Sylvester is a rather large cat.


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 Post subject: Re: Not getting along
PostPosted: Mon Nov 11, 2013 11:51 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Mon Apr 01, 2013 11:03 pm
Posts: 535
My Bengal (8.5 lb. girl) whipped my 18+ lb. beast of a male cat into shape in about a month! So much to the point that he lost three pounds! But he loves her and is so happy to have a friend to wrestle with now. It is funny how that works out sometimes, isn't it! :biggrin:

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 Post subject: Re: Not getting along
PostPosted: Sat Dec 28, 2013 9:04 pm 
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Bengal Cat

Joined: Sun Sep 22, 2013 11:11 pm
Posts: 39
All coming along just nicely :biggrin:

[BBvideo 425,350]http://s921.photobucket.com/user/Dirtydave5/media/Mobile%20Uploads/trim244C2E37-B483-45C5-BA7D-7477E4311686_zps29de3cbd.mp4.html[/BBvideo]


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 Post subject: Re: Not getting along
PostPosted: Sun Dec 29, 2013 3:50 am 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Fri Sep 27, 2013 12:19 am
Posts: 125
Sir Lancelot wrote:
All coming along just nicely :biggrin:


Those two are good friends now. Thats classic play fighting. All cat play revolves around that.


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 Post subject: Re: Not getting along
PostPosted: Mon Dec 30, 2013 4:10 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Sun Aug 11, 2013 6:09 pm
Posts: 152
Sir Lancelot wrote:
Well finally we have our new addition, over the last week we've had our new baby Bengal 12 weeks old in his safe room, slowly he is getting used to all other family members and is exploring out side the boundaries of his safe room, problem I have is my other 2 yo cat, domestic long hair, he will growl and hiss at sir Lancelot non stop, he is making really aggressive noises and I feel they might never get along, any ideas to bring 2yo into line?



Oh god - I had this problem. I got tons of advice but none of it was helping and the cat was also attacking me. I went to a behaviourist expert and spoke to them on the phone. Within 3 days everything was dandy and the cat is now friends with my resident cat and they play together as well as sleeping near each other. We don't leave them alone still as although this was an amazing change it is still early days.

The first thing I will say to you is not everything works for everyone. I was told to ignore the cat, keep them apart for months and even to have the girl spayed (which isn't bad advice but I thought a bit drastic if it was only a behaviour issue- we were planning this anyway.) Nothing mentioned above worked for me. When I contacted a professional she told me to keep it as simple as possible and to introduce them slowly and carefully. We also got a felliway and began slowly letting them closer to each other with the door being left open so they can come in and out by themselves. We followed every correct procedure before this and that hadn't worked. I was prepared to be slowly introducing them for 3 months or so before I found the problem to be a permanent one, luckily that wasn't necessary.

After allowing them to choose if they saw each other things progressed quickly and within 3 days they were fine. My biggest mistake was when they began playing I would freak out and think it was an attack. I separated them again thinking it hadn't worked but both cats were obviously more stressed by the separation so I allowed them back near each other and right now I can hear them playing in the hallway.

Also whichever cat is showing aggression needs to be separated and put in a confined space. I was constantly confining the new cat and so Lily would play up when she saw her so she could leave (I think) after confining Lily a few times she just ignored Orc when she saw her and there was nothing beyond a slight growl.

I can't tell you everything I was advised as it was quite lengthy but don't give up on either cat getting along. I was in the worst possible position with being attacked and having Lily being attacked but I followed some tremendously decent advice from people on forums and professionals (though some of it was conflicting) and can proudly say I now have two cats who play together and follow each other about. I was very inpatient with the progress and when I allowed myself to think of this as a slow process it came along very quickly. They even eat near each other and orc has taken to grooming lily every so often. I was also told to let them figure out the pecking order by themselves which I was against as I thought it meant fighting. It didn't, it meant Lily slapping Orc in the face when she tried to get on the bed and Orc realising it was a no go zone etc.

Also I figured you have this sorted now but I posted anyway in case someone else needed reassurance or advice.

Sorry if that is jumbled, I know what I mean haha.

Anyway, here is sleeping beauty 1 & 2 last night:

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 Post subject: Re: Not getting along
PostPosted: Wed Jan 01, 2014 8:03 pm 
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Asian Leopard Cat

Joined: Fri Sep 27, 2013 12:19 am
Posts: 125
Looks like one is a tree dweller one is a bush dweller!


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