Ok as most of you know I have taken in a retired stud named Jasper. He is a REaLLY shy guy and is not very confident in his self. We have had him for five days now and today was the first time that Jasper and BB could smell and see each other through the door. He was just lying in front of the door with his nose in the crack as calm as could be. BB on the other hand was very I mean VERY vocal. She hissed and spit and chattered and any other noise you can throw in there but she got over it fairly quickly and she is now more curious about him! So my question is, how do I introduce them when the time comes? I know it's going to be a little while longer and I am going to wait until she calms down when seeing him! The breeder we got Jas from suggested we leave him in his carrier and let her in to see him and be able to get close to him without a fight. Sounds good to me!! So after we do that and they are calm while being together, do I open the carrier and get him out? I know he will not come out on his own and if we waited on him to come out we will probably be trying to introduce them for the next year!! Really, I am not exaggerating in the least! He has zero confidence and quite frankly he would be content living in his pet carrier for the rest of his life it's really sad to be honest but I don't know how to build his confidence other than to push him and show him EVERYtHING is ok and he is not in danger! Am I going about this in the right way? Do I push him or encourage him to do things outside of his comfort zone? Is that the " proper" way to show him he is safe? Should I just let him do it on his own, even though he might not ever have the nerve to do it?

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We let it happen organically with no carriers. I was worried that one or the other would feel trapped. We both sat on the floor and let Faust into the safe room after they'd had a day or two to talk through the door. We kept talking and petting Faust, while teeny Max tried to beat him up. No was was restrained, everyone was getting affection and attention from the hoomans. Short bursts of time with separation when someone aggressed too much.

We really only waited a short while because they seemed to be more stressed by the unknown than the actual contact with each other.

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i got my new (adult) cat a week ago and despite what everyone says about slowly introducing each other, i just let them figure it out themselves. I only separated them once for a day whilst i was out, and as soon as lili got home she was only in her "safe room" for an hour.

at first ailura (original cat) didn't like lili (new cat) and she hissed and growled and was very unhappy, lili was rather oblivious and didn't seem to care, it took ailura about 2 days to accept there was a new cat and she finally stopped growling at lili.

its been about 5 days and now they like each other, they will play and sniff each other, i still think they have a little while to go unitl they will cuddle together (or i hope they will it would be so cute) but yeah

i think if you just put them in the same room, they will sort it out, just be there to make sure they don't try to kill each other !

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As Elaine said, there is no rush. You don't NEED to have them in the same room, there's no hurry for introductions. You need to work at their pace and put your own thoughts/agenda aside.

I had Alex in his safe room for a couple of weeks before intros were made. He was nervous and I wanted him to be sure he was safe and comfortable in his own little environment. He still goes back to that room a lot now, he has his favourite spot up high where he sleeps.

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So he was retired due to being bullied by other cats and he gets re homed with another cat

I do get confused if im honest as to peoples reasoning for things as I would have requested him be an only cat myself - but I guess hindsight is a wonderful thing.

Tbh regardless of his nature its best to keep them separate for 2 weeks before introductions due to different bugs and varying bacteria that might be in his system from coming from a different environment. Usually stresses will start the shedding process and this will then pass onto other cats who might not have the immunity to these different strains.

As for his confidence - thats for you now to help build up - and that means him being happy with you, and his current surroundings before moving him onto something else. Sounds like it needs to be a slow process but I think introductions to BB need to be last on the list.
You could do some scent swapping whilst you are doing this so they can get used to each other that way.

Slowly slowly catchy monkey as they say...good luck

Thanks Claire. Yes I know its a little strange that he was being bullied by the female cats and then placed into a home with another cat. I have thought A LOT about that but he is here now so I have to make the best of the situaton for all of us! I think the breeder was thinkng that the breeding situation was causing the females to be more aggressive than your everyday spayed female. I have to say though that he was geting along fine with a spayed "pet" female in their home as well as two intact Sphynx cats that were in there. I have been doing scent swapping, I actually started that before he even came home! I let BB sleep in her carrier in th living room and then swapped her carrier with his this morning. So he has hers and she has his. They seem fine with smelling each other and she doesn't have a fit about his scent. Although she does have something to say when I come back with his scent on me now. As far as waiting two weeks that will be the minimum. He hasn't been here a week yet and I know its going to take longer than that for him to open up and be comfortable. I guess time will tell! We will wait it our as long as we have to, to make things right! The breeder just messaged me and said that if we can't give him a few weeks to come around he will gladly take him back and refund us our money. I honestly think he has the best intensions as well and he honestly thinks he will fit into our family. I am still going to have a positive outlook! even though as it seems odds are against us!

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From memory, Alex used to hide a fair bit. He had an igloo that he adored and spent a lot of time in that. He also spent a lot of time up high, on the top shelf of a shelving unit where I'd put a blanket for him. (he still spends lots of time up there, it's his fave spot!) I spent a lot of time in the room with him, I took a beanbag in there (risky I know but thankfully he never peed on it) and I'd sit and read to him. I also had talk back radio on in there a lot of the time, at a low volume. Alex has never been food motivated, so I couldn't use that to lure him out. I just waited for his curiosity to kick in. Eventually he'd come near me for pats and he loves to play with toys, so I'd spend time playing with him. I realised that he's a complete patting whore, so I'd spend time patting him or grooming him with a comb which he loved. He would often roll on his back and show me his tummy, so that gave me confidence.