None of my bengals really appreciate being held either. Also, female cats can sometimes be the 'affection on their own terms' sort. For example, all my male cats if I plopped them in my lap they would immediately be like "WOOHOO, cuddle time!!". If I did this with any of my females, even if they were in a super lovey mood, they would give me a dirty look and wander off. Most likely they would return two minutes later to climb onto my lap on their own, but it always had to be on THEIR terms...lol.
Bayou my rescue boy I got as an adult is like trying to hold a 15 lb wild monkey....I have never seen a cat SO adamant about getting down and he has some serious muscle about him. He doesn't try and hurt you, he literally just pushes away like a toddler with all his might. Its sort of amusing, until you get to the vet and we have to sedate him for a blood draw because even four people cannot hold him down. The good news is for him, he is a super love bug and even though he wrestles with all his might to get away, he has NEVER clawed or hissed or bit or shown an ounce of aggression, so all the vets and staff adore him even if he is a pain in the keester
My bengal gal I got at 14 weeks old, she HATED being picked up too when I got her. I worked with her daily so that while she still vocally complains about being held, she doesn't fight and struggle like a wild banshee anymore. So she is good at the vet and I can nail trim her no problems (although sometimes she makes a racket about it).
BUT, get this, the wild banshee girl now occasionally likes to be thrown over my shoulder. Its totally on her terms, like when she is lovey or sleepy. It only lasts for a few minutes tops, but I enjoy it. It started with me hugging her a bit while say she was on the back of the couch or a table. Her feet never left the ground but she got used to being more close to me. Gradually I started picking her up a bit, just floating over the couch for a second. Now, if she is acting lovey and there is nothing else going on that she wants to see/do, then I can toss her over my shoulder. But seriously, the second she sees something interesting, she wants down.
Shaping handling behavior on an adult cat is difficult. It took me years to be able to trim the nails on my adult boy.....well, its still a handful but I can at least get in about two paws at a time. So just learn what your gal likes, make interaction with you positive and never stressful, and she may surprise you with more then you were expecting over time. If not, she still loves you, she is just being herself