Only YOU know your BB and only YOU know your situation! You went through a lot with Jasper and I know how heart wrenching it was for you to let him go. I agree a few of the posters were a little harsh, but I know they are trying to protect you from going through what you've gone through with Jasper.

I may be one of the few here with just one cat -- one bengal. Raiden will be 8 years old in March and as much time as he spends alone while we're at work, I'd never bring in another cat. I know how much it would upset him. He rules the roost and the territory here is all his. I love cats and I wish I could have a house full, but I have to be realistic and I know that I would have my hands full with Raiden if I brought in any other cat. He has to be an only child at this point. He does not take well to other cats we see on our walks.

I know how upset you are that things didn't work out with Jasper despite all your brave efforts. The guilt you feel about BB -- does she miss having another cat in the house? It's really only a decision you can make. Whatever is best for you and your family and BB.

I know cats and children are not a no-no, but Jasper in the end was petrified of your kids, that is a big red flag for me and something you must consider deeply.
Why did he become increasingly scared of your children? and will another cat be any different?

BB is obviously made of sterner stuff, or is perhaps better treated by your kids.
I know this is the elephant in the room here, and no doubt the suggestion will provoke a defensive response, but to ignore this aspect could mean in a year or twos time, another cat has to leave your household.

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I know I'm newer around here so I don't know the whole background, but it seems like the issue with Jasper was more a lack of socialization when he was younger so he was sort of "shell shocked" to come into a such a busy environment. If you do decide to eventually get another cat a kitten is definitely the best way to go and they do usually adapt a little better when they're younger.

We got Diesel at 5 months and while he has fully settled into our little "herd" it did take him 4 or 5 months to really feel comfortable.

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Dallas, TX USA
Diesel - snow Bengal born 09/01/2013 adopted Feb 2014
Tuck, Chloe, Buddy, Lewis & Tia - rescue kitties
Clyde, Bleu & Coal - Great Danes

So sorry, I hope I didn't upset you from my post. I just felt concerned over the switching of cats you were looking at - but only concerned for you as I wouldn't want you to have to go through the same experience with Jasper.

I think Donna is right being honest, the Jasper situation I remember at the time was not ideal, if I remember the breeder had neutered him and then homed him straight away without gauging how he would settle into a home environment or whether or not he continued to spray etc. Too much too soon for him I think.

No you did not upset me at all. I understand that four kids, especially how some kids can act these days, can be overwhelming for anyone (including humans). BB handles the kids like a trooper and I think it's due to her socialization AFTER we got her. It's not from her breeder that's for sure. And yes Jasper had not recovered at all from his neuter and still sprayed when we got him. He is an awesome cat and I think he turned into a great companion for someone without children. He just didn't fit in our home and after talking to the breeder I'm not sure why they thought he would.
I'm really not sure what the right thing is to do, that's why I have been bouncing ideas in hopes that something will stick out to me. As far as switching kittens so fast, the other breeder that has a six week old kitten is Southlynn Bengals. I would be ABSOLUTELY crazy to think she wouldn't be a great breeder and offer us a fantastic addition to our family. That's why I changed my mind so quickly.

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After what BB went through losing her companion, even if Jasper wasn't an ideal companion for her, she deserves at least five or six months to being the center (cat) of your family. When a family member leaves, it takes animals longer than we think to really be settled into their new reality.

You and your husband are going through the same thing. Make BB the top cat for five or six months and then start thinking about altering the pet situation in your home. I don't think it is fair to her to start thinking about an addition already.

Please do not get another kitten , i dont think its fair on BB .

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Oscar and Jasper (or one ear and two ears as dh calls them) black rescue mogges

RIP my sweet baby Dexter, Snow Bengal 19/5/14 to 5/3/15 and my lovely dear old friend Muskey, Brown Burmese put to rest aged 15 on 14/11/15.

Debbie

I wasn't going to comment however, on the basis that BB was happy with Jasper and has now adapted without Jasper, it was clearly Jasper's breeders fault for homing him in a bustling and busy family home when he wasn't used to it. We don't have children and my boys are now about 17 months old. This week, my other half was busy doing some DIY in the hall, and the boys were with me in the kitchen waiting to be fed. There was a sudden loud noise (he dropped something) that startled me, let alone the boys, who jumped out of their skins and didn't know where to run first for safety and shot off in different directions. Jagger shot into the living room and unfortunately, Hendrix shot into the conservatory and out of the window. It was dark, raining and blowing a gale.

We have never seen Jagger so scared and it took us ages to calm him down and come out of hiding. I was worried sick about Hendrix and kept going to call him but he didn't come home for 2 and a half hours (wailing like a banshee and very scared) and its taken a good 24 hours for them to stop skulking around and looking over their shoulders for shadows, and lots of work, love and playing with them from us to make them feel safe in their home again.

I strongly believe that if they were used to loud noises on a regular basis from kitten-hood (as you would get in a family home with children running around etc) then we wouldn't have had all the drama and worry this week.

A kitten would learn from BB there is nothing to be scared of. Jasper was an adult who found it impossible to adapt.

It's your families decision - it was Jasper being an adult when he joined your family that seems to have been the issue from what I can gather. I wish you all the best in your decision and hope some of the harsh comments don't put you off letting us know what you decide and how it goes x

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Clare
Hendrix and Jagger, Brown Marble Boys (born 18 August 2013)
Hampshire, UK

Well said clare that was the same conclusion i came to aswell.

Thank you all for you comments (good and bad) and support. After talking it over with my family we have decided to add another kitten. We haven't found a kitten yet but we have found a breeder. We are just waiting on the right fit for our family. The breeder is working with us and will allow us to pick a kitten that has started to develop it's personality and of course she will assist us in picking the right kitten. She has a litter now and one due next month so we will have the chance to choose a kitten now or to wait on the next litter. Believe it or not I have made the decision with my head, not only my heart. I truly believe BB would be just as happy with a feline friend and I honestly think she needs a companion. Just thought I would update you all on where we are and what the plans are. I will post more once we have decided on a kitten, when that time comes. It may be a few weeks/months before that decision is made.

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Congratulations on your choice i really hope everything works out for the better for your whole family. I only have an agonising 10 weeks left until i get my baby boy lol. The wait is sooo tormenting but i get weekly picture updates that i put on here for all to see his development.

Thank you! 10 weeks seems like forever lol. I hope it goes by fast and I look forward to seeing your updates.

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