_________________



Miki & My Beloved Bengals http://mybelovedbengals.blogspot.com/

Shiloh, Darcy, Rudy The Roodster & Ozzy...

Dotty it is worrying to begin with. It's like letting your children go out to play out of sight. I let mine out in the garden for 4 weeks - tried to cat proof it,but they keep burrowing under the fence! Blighters!

_________________
Hugo, Rufus, Inca and Marley

_________________
Hugo, Rufus, Inca and Marley

Regretfully I write this with a heavy heart....

It seems that all my efforts over the past few weeks have been in vain. The subect of my girls came up again a few days agoas I could no longerhide my upset and distress. My partner and I have been together a little while now and we have never had a row until now!

Eventually my son and I will be moving back into my partners house,but my partner categorically does not want the cats in his house. He says he cannot live with them. He hates them. He dislikes them jumping on the furniture, drinking from taps,climbing curtains,the smaell of the litter tray, their hair on furiture and clothes, the allergy etc...
The girls are generally very well behaved ( as Bengals go) but as we all know that bordom can lead to mischief occassionally. He says that if he were to return back home one day and find something broken, he'd go mad and resent them, then he's probably start resenting me as it would lead to arguments.

I have not as yet mentioned why I got the girls...They were a 5th birthday present for my son. For a long time he was constantly asking for a sibling as he was lonely. That could not happen in the situation I was in, so the girls came along as a substitute. Two years on....we have bonded and become a family.

The pain I feel is tremendous. I feel my whole world is in a spin. Here I am after the most horrible abusive marriage and I have found a man that treats me like a princess, has bonded with my son and treats him as his own, and yet cannot accept my girls. If I keep the girls, he'll resent me. If I re-home them I may end up resenting him not to mention that I'll break my son's heart (and my own). I feel like I'm giving up my children as I don't see them as pets.

It's amazing that I've managed to write this through the flood of tears....but there it is. That's my story.

I really am so very sorry to hear this Dotty, it must be such a terrible position to be in, and i dont really know what to say... it would be easy for me to say i would put my cats before any man, but im with a man who loves cats, so im not in your situation, and i would hate to be....

Keep us updated on what you end up doing, i will be thinging of you and your son and your girls too...

miki xx

_________________



Miki & My Beloved Bengals http://mybelovedbengals.blogspot.com/

Shiloh, Darcy, Rudy The Roodster & Ozzy...

I have pm'd you Dotty

_________________
Gilly, Bella Naughty Knickers, Tofi Too and Kajika (Boy)

spelng ... who ndees it ?

_________________


remembering much loved and missed Mylo xxx

I think the most important part in all this is your son, he has "lost" a dad( no matter how abusive he is still his dad) and now you are going to separate him from the only constant thing in his life, his cats.

Making you and your son give up those cats is not in my opinion "treating you like a princess". Abuse takes many forms and his, what seems blatant disregard for your feelings and more importantly that of your son does not make him, in my mind the type of person you would want to spend the rest of your life with.

I am sure you are an emotional sponge at the moment, having suffered abuse, any attention from him to you will be soaked up. However you cannot lose sight of the fact that his behaviour in this matter smacks of controlling. He is dictating with a bit of emotional black mail, "you cannot live with me if you take your cats". You have already put your cats in a more dangerous situation for this man and yet he still wants more. What happens if they get run over? How will your son feel then? How will you and your son's relationship develop, if you basically choose this man and his life style over your little boy's happiness?

If you rehome them.
Do you want to be in a cat-free zone for life, because that is the reality?

Very good points from Junglerose. I don't think this guy is 'treating you like a princess' if he is using emotional blackmail to try and remove two members of yours and your sons family.

I don't want to judge but after everything you have been through, surely your sons happiness is more important than that of a partner that you haven't even been with for all that long? I really think you would live to regret getting rid of the girls, and for all your partners threats of 'resenting' the cats, you might find that its your son who ends up resenting you.

I don't want to be harsh but your son is the most important person in this scenario - not your 'partner' and if your son thinks of the cats as like 'sisters' to him then there should be no question of getting rid of them IMO. Sorry to say this but your partner sounds like a total control freak and to be honest if he thinks cats are too disruptive then I will be enormously surprised if he thinks living with a little boy will be plain sailing all the way......