One of my pets was killed yesterday evening. It was one of my chickens, which free-range in the garden. Despite being home all day, I didn't see or hear anything, but she's gone, and she was the favourite. I am sad, but I expected this might happen one day, I had made my choice not to keep them in a run. And I did walk inside and tell my cats, "This is why you are not allowed out!"
I am the same as you OP, it is hard to feel completely sympathetic for the people who post that their cat is missing or found dead, because but for the fact they let their cat free roam, it wouldn't be missing or dead.
I frequent a non-pet forum that has a pet section, and I think honestly it doesn't occur to most people that you can keep cats indoors. They think its a bit weird/cruel. I remember seeing a woman post, who was terrified something bad was going to happen to her free roaming cat because she knew her children would be devestated, but she knew there was nothing she could do, cats will be cats. I set her straight on that...
If you want to let your cat roam free, that is your choice, but don't be shocked when it gets hit/poisoned/attacked/trapped. *shrug*
Like you OP, I would only let my cat out in very controlled conditions, ie owned all the land the cat would be roaming on, few near neighbours, no near roads, cat fed at home throughout the day and then brought in at night. Even with these I think I still might struggle to let them out